The Blogicon

Sleep is inevitable, just as death. Farewell sweet world, and remember that Petronius was FABULOUS 

Having one last big powwow before tonight! And I just let Nero know EXACTLY how I feel about him and his lupae

Wrists all fixed up with FAB bandages! 

Ugh, now I have to go to trial! I just want to kill myself

WTF Tigellinus. I definitely did not want to assassinate Nero. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT I'M FABULOUS

Nero and I are BFF's foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So i just wrote a book. Like, yeah. It's hilarious and I'm like E.L. James and 50 Shades of Gray b/c I wrote such a fabulous fanfic that it got published! I'M SO FABULOUS

You know what really irks me? Freedmen. And that's not being racist. ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS A FREEDMAN but seriously like they think that they can just prance up into our social classes, without any frickin' class or taste like who let you in here?! It sure wasn't me, because, honey, those sandals do NOT match that stola, no matter how hard you squint! MHMMMMM *sizzle sound* das a BURN

GUYS I'M ACTUALLY REALLY ENJOYING THIS JOB LET'S GO DO MORE CONSUL STUFF OMG LEADERSHIP ROLES I CAN'T SLEEP I'M SO EXCITED SANCTUM CACAS I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE NO I'M NOT I'M GOING TO WRITE A BOOK OMG WOW SO ENERGY MUCH WRITE MANY AWAKE WOW

So I just got assigned guvna of this place called Bithynia...da flip flap snick snack cracker jack paddy wack-give-the-dog-a-bone is THAT?

This Tacitus dude thinks he knows meGET OVER YOURSELF HONEY, YOU DON'T KNOW MAURIS

way too hungover to even care leTS GO PARTY SOME MORE

LET'S TURN THIS NIGHT INTO DAY, MY BROS