lovely to be here

Other people: what do you like to eat for breakfast?

Me with Arfid: coffee with vanilla creamer

Other people: what do you like to eat for lunch?

Me with Arfid: I don't believe in lunch.

Other people: oh, so what do you eat for dinner?

Me with Arfid:

Your ideal environment is:

Hot/Cold

Wet/Dry

Bright/Dark

HWBQ - tropical fish

HWDL - dingy club bathroom hookup

HWDQ - the swamp woman

HDBL - CoachellaBurningmanSouthbysouthwestACL attendee

HDBQ - Lizard

HDDL - Vegas babeyyyy

HDDQ - Trapped in a slot canyon

CWBL - Rowdy Lobsterman Crew

CWBQ - penguin living

CWDL - port angeles basement show

CWDQ - you have hypothermia

CDBL - ski resort

CDBQ - Christmas in Nebraska

CDDL - mcmurdo station rave

Vanilla sex isn't "wholesome sex"! Sex is not more pure just because it's done within the framework of a monogamous relationship and free from elements of kink!

"Person is so pure they probably don't even know what sex is." Purity isn't defined by the distance from sex! As if the more a person encounters sex in any context the less pure their soul becomes!

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

Since the post I made last night about improving executive functioning was so popular, I figured I should pull these out of my comments and give them their own post, in case it's helpful for people.

I have worked with the publishers of all of the books linked below and can vouch for their psychology books. The publisher of most of them, New Harbinger, is an extremely credible evidence-based psychology publisher.

Obvious disclaimer that everyone's brain is different and what works for someone else may not work for you.

Is there evidence that executive functioning can be improved? Yes. This book appears to be a very thorough overview of the field, and contains both advocates and detractors of cognitive training, for a balanced perspective. From the table of contents, I would really recommend jumping straight to Part 3: Developmental Perspectives for executive functioning (EF) writ large.

Certain therapy modalities are specifically designed for skill-building in areas like impulsivity, decision-making, emotional regulation, and cognitive flexibility, all of which are EF skills or very dependent on EF skills. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is probably the best field to look at for these - skill-building in those areas is its core goal.

Some DBT workbooks:

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Teens

There are also a lot of workbooks for ADHD that are sometimes more broad but also can help with executive functioning:

The Adult ADHD and Anxiety Workbook: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Skills to Manage Stress, Find Focus, and Reclaim Your Life

The CBT Workbook for Adult ADHD: Evidence-Based Exercises to Improve Your Focus, Productivity, and Wellbeing

The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Autism and ADHD

General executive functioning workbooks:

The Executive Functioning Workbook for Teens

Executive Functioning Workbook for Adults: Exercises to Help You Get Organized, Stay Focused, and Achieve Your Goals

Hello! Since it's EDS/HSD awareness month, I figured I'd take some time to talk about the severe disorder that plagues me every waking hour of my life.

Disclaimer: I do not speak for the entire EDS community and my experiences are not universal.

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is a connective tissue disorder. It's genetic, incurable, and degenerative. It can cause a lot of problems, including frequent dislocations, POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), heart problems, chronic headaches and migraines, dietary issues, and chronic pain. There are a lot of different subtypes, including hypermobile EDS, vascular EDS, and classical EDS.

It is incredibly painful. I honestly cannot remember the last time I wasn't in pain. It affects everything from my diet, to my mobility, to my hygiene, to my hobbies, to my sleep. I sit down to shower and brush my teeth, I've cut a lot of gluten from my diet, I sleep with several different pillows, I have to accommodate all my hobbies and arts. My mobility aids include forearm crutches, canes, braces, KT tape, and more. Other disability aids include medications, my emotional support water bottle, ice and heat packs, and prescription sunglasses.

I have hypermobile EDS. But the least severe form of a severe disorder is still a severe disorder.

And I am in constant pain.

Everything is a chore, everything is an energy-draining task. Showering takes planning and involves gathering a small army of aids.

Leaving the house takes meticulous planning--which mobility aid will be most helpful today? What braces and supports do I need? Have I eaten enough salt? Will I need my gatorade? Have I refilled my emergency meds lately? Is the place I'm going accessible? And so on.

Engaging in my hobbies takes thoughtful accommodations. I have to be conscious of how my fingers bend when I crochet. I should be aware of how my hands and fingers and wrists are feeling while typing (like typing this post). I have to put all my braces on and bring my stool into the kitchen when I bake. I have to pack my backpack full of disability aids if I want to take a walk. I can't play viola anymore because it isn't safe right now.

I'm so tired. Every day I wake up and I am so so exhausted. Some mornings, while I'm lying in bed and letting my body adjust to being awake, I wonder how the hell I'm going to do this for the rest of my life. Waking up to stiff joints, vertigo spells when I finally crawl out of bed, recovering from an eating disorder while not being able to eat half the food in the house, struggling to leave the house, almost passing out in the shower, going to bed with headaches.

It's hard. It's so fucking hard. I'm not going to sugarcoat this in toxic positivity. Trudging from one day to the next sometimes feels impossible. Some days, it's digging your nails in and refusing to let the depressive thoughts take over. Others, the depression does take over, and there's nothing to do but ride the waves of your grief for a couple days.

Fellow EDS zebras and HSD folks, I wish you all a safe and peaceful month 💖💖

To non-EDS/HSD folks, go learn about EDS and HSD this month!

The Ehlers Danlos Society website

All That You Can't See: Living with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome

EDS and Why We Misunderstand Disability

Bend or Break

Smut fics can help people affirm and accept their sexuality. It can help them explore their sexuality in a safe way. They can also just be fun, and having fun is a drastically undervalued way to improve your mental health.

Dark fics can help people face their fears or process their trauma. It can make them feel safer and more secure. It can help them find their courage.

Fluff fics can give people rest and respite and comfort. It can give them hope that soft places exist and that maybe there is one out there for them. It can bring up their mood, which, if they have depression, can be a life saver.

And every fic people write makes someone feel less alone.

Point being, just because a particular thing doesn’t serve you, doesn’t mean it lacks value.

our autism mascot 🫡

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