You Bring Me Home

Sleeping in the bathtub full of water, clothed, and with a blanket;

Burying knives anywhere but in the chopping block. In the walls, on the ceiling...;

Trying to get a plate from the cabinet and pretending they didn't see that it was about to fall to the ground;

Banging their head or their fists against the wall in a constant, morbid pattern;

Having less sense of space and, sometimes accidentally, sometimes not, bumping onto things;

Unplugging and plugging electronics again and again;

•sneaking out in the middle of the night to wander the street/woods just because they can

•swearing the walls are moving and objects are breathing

•digging a hole in the middle of a field in the dark during a rainstorm with their bare hands just to feel something or have a purpose

•random wild panic attacks/anxiety episodes that could last anywhere from a few minutes to a month

•going on walks/runs for miles without proper footwear or water

•taking excessive baths just to hold themselves under for as long as they can

every three months he'll post and in the author's note there's some shit like "sorry this took a while, i got shot seven times :/" or "i know it's been a minute, i literally got hit by a bus and then stabbed in the leg, but i'm all good!" or sometimes ned would log in and post with a note "hey i'm a friend posting on the author's behalf, they're healing from severe hypothermia but promised an update, so here it is!"

and the fic just gets increasingly more popular for the author notes alone. a good handful of the comments are something along the lines of "i'm not even in the star wars fandom, i'm just here to see if the author is good" or "every update i cheer for another day the author gets to live at this point"

and any reader who is a native new yorker kind of pieces together that holy shit the author might be spider-man because the timeline adds up, and they just fully embrace it. spider-man will stop a robbery and the guy behind the counter will ask when the next chapter will be up. spider-man returns a stolen backpack to a girl and she'll tell him that he "really got poe's voice down so well, it's really impressive."

ned thinks it is hilarious. mj finds out about the fic from twitter, to peter's absolute horror, and changes peter's contact name to "friendly neighborhood ao3 author". but the worst thing to happen is after an avengers battle where peter took a pretty big hit and ends up in med-bay. and during a press conference, when someone asks how spider-man is healing, tony just drops "spidey won't be down for too long. the star wars fic will be updated within the week, probably."

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

“30-50 wild hogs” for someone making ABSURD excuses for violence.

“what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament” for how do you know that without being a part of it.

“anyone in this thread smoke weed” for the shit you people are saying is so off topic this might as well be a general discussion forum

“dogs are boys and cats are girls” for ooh ur mindset did not grow past 4th grade, huh

“color theory in a childrens hospital” for bending over backwards to not agree that YEA, that thing Came Off Weird

“you are a tar pit” for someone finding any reason to respond with outrage.

“is the __ in the room with us right now?” for I Don’t Think That’s Real.

“bean soup? im allergic to beans!” for ik this doesn’t work for you, but that’s not a flaw. not everything can be for you.

die Hitze: unvermeidbar

die Innenräume: nachdrücklich nicht kühlbar

Very sad that some of these i cannot find in a higher quality

This photoshoot. ?????????? I cant find any context for it

These are very cutesy but still??

Then we have more of these like. Vaguely risque ones? I just. I dont know whats going on.

These two are fine i guess