Hey so this is my first TC imagine, it’s a little long but please bear with me.

Warnings: Fluff, making out.

Hey guys! So this is my first TC imagine and I don’t know whether I’ve used the acronyms etc right and I don’t know how good it is so feedback is appreciated!! Also was typed on my phone so formatting could be dodgy… PLEASE SEND ME MORE REQUESTS/PROMPTS! REQUESTED BY @angiekurosaki

———— You walked into class, trying not to make eye contact with him. It was the second lesson this week and you knew he had noticed that something was up the lesson before. He had seemed so confused when you left as soon as the bell rang, with your bag having been packed 5 minutes before the end of the lesson.

Maybe he had gotten used to you packing up slowly and always being the last one out? Maybe he even liked - You squashed the thought as soon as it entered your mind. It was pointless hoping. It was pointless trying. You probably inconvenienced him more than anything, by being so slow at packing up. Besides, why would he enjoy your company? It’s not like you had the courage to even speak to him, and you would stutter out every other word, turning bright red as you did so.

You took your seat at the back of the class and made sure that your hair fell over your face in a way that seemed almost natural. You felt his gaze - but didn’t look up.

For the first time that year, you barely listened to a word he said throughout the lesson. You managed to write your name and the date on the paper and then held the pen poised to look as though you were writing for the rest of the lesson.

It seemed to be an interesting lesson. They were all laughing at one point. He had probably made another of his jokes. But it felt as though you were in a bubble, detached from everyone else. Everything seemed muted and hazy. You just wanted to get away, go outside, be anywhere but here.

Suddenly the laughter stopped.

You looked up.

Everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Y/N, you can answer this one! It’s your favourite topic, remember?” He was looking at you, desperately it seemed, with his reassuring smile. It seemed he wanted to know if you were ok, for you to give a sign of some sort. A part of you fluttered - he had remembered that this was your favourite topic!

You glanced at the board and quickly understood what they were learning today. You grasped the subject almost intuitively and could interpret things almost instantly - and he had noticed from the start. It was the reason why he had started to notice you in the first place.

“Sorry, what was the question?” you asked tentatively. You looked up and met his eyes for the first time this lesson. His eyes, bright and passionate as ever when teaching his subject. You noticed the slightly crinkle around the corner of his eyes, the slight squint, a silent question - are you ok?

You smiled back at him, trying to hide the emotions from your face. It was a fake smile if he had ever seen one. But it was also a silent exclamation - not in front of everyone! You hoped he’d understand.

“Yes everyone, she’s back!” he smiled. He knew the smile had been fake, but he also knew that you wouldn’t say anything with everyone around. The others turned back to face the front, seemingly satisfied with your expression.

“The question was, why does urbanisation increase literacy rates?”

You answered the question. It was strange how he managed to do this. It had just been a smile, a look, a short phrase to show that he remembered things about you, that he cared. One of the few that did. And he had reminded you that you weren’t useless. That you could do stuff!

“Exactly! Well done, Y/N! Alright everyone, lesson’s over! Have a great weekend, I’ll see you on Tuesday! And as a treat from me, no homework today!” he shouted over the ringing of the bell and the clamour of people packing up.

You scrambled to pack your bag. You needed to get away quickly, before he asked you what was up. Before you lost all control in front of him.

“Damn it!” you yelled as your folder fell on the ground, slipping from your hand in your haste to pack up. Pieces of paper flew out of it on the way down. Great.

A few people stopped to help but left after a few seconds - it was Friday, no one wanted to spend any more time than necessary at school. Besides, it would probably take a while.

“You want a hand with that?” you heard a familiar voice ask, as the final person left the room, the door quietly shutting behind them. You paused. Waited for your heart rate to slow down again. How could his voice do this to you?

“Thanks!” you replied, not looking up. You could feel the warmth emanating from his skin beside you.

You both knelt on the ground over the folder, barely inches apart. You saw him glance at you a few times but you didn’t, couldn’t, look at him. You scooped up the paper and shoved it in the folder, not caring about the order, whilst he meticulously arranged each sheet.

Your hand reached for the final few sheets just as his did and your fingers brushed each other.

“Sorry” you said, blushing furiously and moving to retract your hand.

“She speaks!” You could feel him smiling without even turning to look at him. “Y/N, talk to me. What’s up?” You could hear the genuine concern in his voice and it made you tear up. Fuck, you thought. I can’t cry in front of him.

“Um, yeah I’m fine! Why wouldn’t I be?” You kept staring at the ground and tried to make your voice sound jokey. You moved to stand up.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N. Hey, look at me.” You stared furiously at the ground, suddenly interesting in the fibres the carpet was made from.

“Y/N.” His voice was soft but had that slight gravelly tone which happened when he tried to whisper. You felt a warm touch on your hand.

You looked down and saw his hand placed lightly on top of yours. You looked up at him in surprise.

“You know you can always talk to me?” He looked really worried now.

You looked into his eyes, at his concerned expression. He hadn’t shaved recently and there was a light coat of stubble on his cheeks, and his hair looked slightly ruffled. His shirt sleeves were rolled up as usual and you noticed that the top button of his shirt was undone.

You realised you were staring at him and quickly looked away. Fuck it, you thought. I’ll tell him.

“Thanks. It’s just… everything. It’s all falling apart you know? Like everything? And I don’t really know what to do?” You kept looking at the ground.

“Ok, but what? What exactly is falling apart?” He sounded calmer now, seemingly relieved that you had replied. You felt rather than saw him lean against the wall and you did the same, conscious of the little space which separated you both. You pulled your knees up.

“Everything. Grades, friends, family.” The huge crush I have on you, you thought, but didn’t say. “It’s like… this year has gone by so quickly. And everyone is telling us to start looking at universities, and open days, and courses. And this just doesn’t work for me, you know? I can’t see myself that far in the future, if that makes sense? I can’t see myself past next year, let alone when I’m older. And everyone else seems to be able to do this and I just can’t and it just seems like there’s something wrong with me!” You saw him open his mouth at that but you carried on speaking. It was all rushing out. Everything you had held back for so long.

“And… and it’s like, this whole year has just slipped by. I don’t know what I’ve done, and I’m going to be 18 next year, and leave this place, and I just… it’s like I haven’t lived? It’s like my teenage years have rushed past me in this constant worry about grades and school. Not that that has even done any good! I mean, I just failed my mocks and I actually revised this time around. I don’t enjoy anything anymore and I just… Urgh. Sorry. That wasn’t all supposed to come out. I just… I don’t know. I haven’t really let myself say all that to someone before.”

You glanced up at him, expecting a look of shock and horror. A look of regret for even asking. Why would he even want to deal with the mess that you were?

Instead, he was looking at you with an expression you had never seen on him before. A strange mixture of rawness, concern and something else you couldn’t quite place. He looked younger then, in that moment. The emotions he always kept well hidden were written all across his face. You had never seen him like this before. It was strange. You had just poured out your soul to him but you felt like you should be the one comforting him instead.

You were still looking into his eyes - transfixed by the stream of thoughts which were flashing behind there.

“Mr TC/N? Are you okay?” you ventured.

He kept looking at you with the same expression, but the emotion you couldn’t quite place was becoming more prominent in his eyes.

He smiled. “Yeah… Yeah. Don’t worry. Just a small flashback into the past, you know?” It was a sad smile.

“Do you want to - I mean, I know you have friends who you’d talk to about stuff and you probably don’t want to talk to me but um, do you want to talk about it?” You looked down quickly.

“Y/N. Why would you think that? Why would I not want to talk to you? You know how much you mean to me!”

You looked up, startled. Had you just heard that right???

“Don’t look so surprised!” He laughed. “Wasn’t that pretty obvious?”

‘Not to me’, you wanted to reply. 'Not to me, when I always overthink and think the worst and never let myself hope. When I notice that you treat me differently but don’t want to admit it. Because if it’s true, if I am right and you do treat me differently - what would that mean? I’d start to hope. And that? That never works out.’

“I mean… I guess?” you replied instead.

He stared at you. “Y/N. I’ve always connected to you in a strange way. It took me a long time to realise why. But you remind me slightly of how I was at your age. Intelligent but insecure. Opinionated but didn’t like confrontation. Quiet but always thinking. And I also didn’t know what to do, where to go. Hell, I didn’t even want to go to university. I mean, can you believe it, I wanted to drop out at 14 and start a rock band!”

You both laughed at that, imagining him with thick black eyeliner in a screamo concert.

“Hey, it sort of worked out, right? I mean… rock band, DJ - pretty interchangeable?” You nudged his elbow, teasing him. Your confidence around him had grown in the last few minutes and to be honest, you had more to lose if you didn’t say anything.

“Piss off,” he said, smiling. “But yeah, I never knew where to go and what to do. And I could never picture myself that far in the future. I mean there’d be random moments where I’d think that something would be really cool, but when I tried to picture myself in that position, it would all fall apart.”

You nodded. He was describing everything you had been thinking.

“But that’s not the point. This isn’t about me. I’m just hoping this will help with perspective. Because I’m not the most successful person ever, but, and I’m not exaggerating or lying to you, I really enjoy my life. I love my job. The thing is, it all works out, you know? Shit happens and we deal with it and life goes on. And I think we all forget that at times but, again, don’t take me for someone who’s superstitious and all that, but what I’m trying to say is, if you’re meant to get somewhere, it’ll work out! And every single step there doesn’t have to be perfect or the way you thought it’d be. And so it’s fine for people like us! Better, I’d say! For people who don’t have their lives mapped out, I mean - because we’ll go with the flow and if something happens we deal with it and move on. So don’t ever think there’s something wrong with you. Ever.”

He paused, as if he was thinking about whether to say something. He apparently decided to.

“And… on the opposite side of that, if something, or, um, someone, comes into our life and makes it better? Then we hold on to them too. Against the odds. Against what we are told is right. We take the risk. Because… thats… um.” He had turned slightly red and seemed to be analysing your expression.

You decided to take the risk.

He was trying to backtrack. “Sorry. Um, I don’t know where that last bit came fro-”

He paused and looked down at his hand in surprise. His hand - which you had grabbed a hold of and laced your fingers through. He looked at you - a mixture of shock and relief, and smiled. Everything was in that smile. Relief and shock, yes. But also, hope.

You smiled back.