It's Mikeee

Song of the Day

Song of the Day

St. Vincent - New York

You’re the only motherfucker who can handle me 

ahyesblog.wordpress.com

I haven’t eaten meat for 8 days. This purely for vanity reasons. My skin was breaking out into a gross cystic mess for the past few months. Normally, my acne would go through a phase and a week later eruptions would subside and things will be normal again. Self-esteem intacted.

This was not the case.

I thought it was because I stopped using my topical medication, Clindimycin Troponin (sp?). I’ve been using this medication for years. It was the only medication to work on me and didn’t cause my acne exacerbate. I’ve been through it all: Clearisil; Proactiv (LOL); Antibiotic pills (never again); creams; Neutrogena on the spot cream (fuck you, Neutrogena. That shit is the worst); and even this crazy expensive, 10 step Korean skin care regiment.

Actually, the Korean Skincare regiment worked for like 2 weeks. I had that dewy glow on fleek and my dark spots were beginning to disappear, and all was well. But it got expensive ($30 for a tucking toner?) and I think my skin got immune to it.

So I called up Walgreens to get that refilled and use it, stat! And while it worked and lessened the breakouts, it didn’t fully recover.

Yes, I’m 31 and I’ve been dealing with this crap for since I was 8. Acne sufferers will vouch for this: when you’ve suffered through acne since you were a child, that will affect you for the rest of your life. I don’t care what anybody says. I’ve been on acne.org and read through the support groups and the community. We’re all in this together!

When I was in junior and senior year of college, I went through a vegetarian phase to my parent’s chagrin. I don’t know why I started, I just did it. But what I do remember was my skin was really good…for my standards. My skin glowed with that bronzed Filipino tan.

During the last hours of my first day of being 31 (February 10, 1986), I arrived in San Diego around 11 at night and was picked up by my friends who wanted to treat me to some Korean BBQ. Whenever I arrive in San Diego, the first thing I notice is the smell. It's the smell of the ocean and palm trees. The moment I arrive outside of Lindbergh Field, I inhale that smell over and over again. It conjures up crazy memories of picnics at Seaport Village and riding my bike at Coronado. There's a wetness to the smell that's hard to describe and I really missed it.

Whenever say this to people in San Diego, they look at me with bewilderment and do that dog head tilt. "Like, what?" Weird, I know, but it's something I don't get here in the desert.

So we embarked on our journey to get some bbq. The first place was a bust. We arrived an hour and a half before closing and the hostess said they were no longer accepting customers and the kitchen is closing...Even though they don't have to cook at all and we do the cooking ourselves. Whatever.

We ended up at Josun Korean BBQ. Disregard the lower than 4 stars Yelp reviews, this place was great from beginning to end. We arrived around midnight and all the grills were being used and waited. But while we waited, our jovial waitress brought a platter of banchans--the best part of a Korean meal! Kimchi, picked radishes of various colors, greens in gochochang, and since it was my birthday, complimentary mandoo dumplings. Holla!

And since it was my birthday, you know we had to do the most and select ALL YOU CAN EAT OPTION B with beef tongue, seafood, and short ribs. So we noshed, slurped, gulped, and drank merrily. Beer and blueberry soju (ugh) was involved and by the end I was pooped. After working all day, waiting at the airport and extra two hours because of a flight delay, traveling, and being awake for 36 hours, I was done.

During that dinner my friend asked, "What accomplishment are you most proud of during your 30th year?"

I gave some shitty answer by saying, like climbing Turtle Head Peak at Red Rock. Granted, that trail was fucking difficult in 30 degree weather with snow. I'm still not sure how I survived that adventure. But still I wished I had a better answer. And I'm still looking for a better answer.

My 30th year was kind of shitty to be honest. It started well. But the disappointments just piled on:

Not getting promoted to full-time at my ex-job and grappling with the fact that I needed to move on.

Getting a shittier job at my alma mater.

My anxiety was unbearably bad at the end of the year which caused me to gain a lot of weight in the midsection and flare up a cystic acne like crazy.

I got my hopes up for one guy who ghosted me and left me in the dust.

Trump was elected our President.

That's not to say my 30th year was all bad, but it wasn't the best. And I think the fact that I didn't give a good answer was because I didn't take enough risks, did things I truly enjoyed, and stayed inside my bubble.

Which leads me to here. Writing. I miss writing. I used have a blog back in college for 4 years (RIP Livejournal). Which leads me here. 

Song of the Moment: Turn Into - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

And honestly when is this song NOT in the moment for me? 

1) I’m totally loving Paramore’s new song “Hard Times”. The funky and vibrant sounds, addicting hook, and Hayley’s sweet voice make this a great summer jam.

2) Spring and Summer weather = Printed short-sleeved shirts! Las Vegas runs on a different schedule. We have a long, drawn out summer, where the heat can licherally (not literally) can kill you. Which means half the year I’m wearing just a single layer shirt. 

3) Lastly, this article beautiful article from the Atlantic about Alex Tizon’s Lola. 

Song of the Day

Cardio Jam of Day

Song of the Week

Allo Darlin’ - Hymn on the 45

Since I was a child they told me, your skin is too thin

You gotta get harder

You gotta toughen up

You’re too naive

You’ll never make it this way