Ezra

This is an anti-despair checkpoint! You must share something you're looking forward to before scrolling on.

Also sometimes you and your friend are both in Torment Mazes, different ones, and while yours is way hotter, you know that your friend's has just so many more rusty nails than yours does, and so you and your friend vent to one another about your respective Torment Mazes and sympathize in a way that makes very clear that it's not a Torment Maze Olympics, there is no competitive element about whose Torment Maze is worse, and you both just genuinely wish the other to be freed from their Torment Maze as soon as humanly possible

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

@hellsite-hall-of-fame for your collection

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

people DESPERATE in the notes to explain why the way THEY engage with harry potter is morally pure. It's like white people talking about rap music in there! Libraries buy the books! Fanfiction maintains a conversation around the IP! There is NO WAY to enjoy harry potter in 2025 without publicly supporting JK Rowling!

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

internet friends are so funny bro. here are some fuckers who know more about me than my mother. their names? well this one's no eyed joe, that one's takeout container, that one's moo, this one's named after several hit video game characters, that one is soup and so is that other one, here are a couple named after several thousand year old stories. that one's scammer. that one's volcano residue and here's fungus and rodent and there's podcast character and we can't forget the birds. this one says he's not named after a supernatural character but there's no evidence to support that. here's vegetables and arson. i love them all very dearly. oh yeah and they're all queer

Matilda is a crazy book cause it starts out like ‘this little girl was super smart and loved to read :) and sometimes she used her smarts to play pranks on her shitty family :)’ and you’re like ‘wow good for her!! i hope her life gets easier once she starts going to school’ and then she starts going to school and develops telekinetic superpowers via emotional dysregulation that she subsequently uses to psychologically torment her principal into confessing that she murdered her brother-in-law and made it look like a suicide in order to seize control of her niece’s trust fund. And then Matilda’s entire family has to flee the country because it turns out her dad has been stealing cars and they’re all being hunted by the FBI