“I need to stop romanticizing everything,” I said, You nodded, “Yes, yes,” “I need to stop wearing rose-colored glasses all the time.” “Yes, yes, yes, yes,” You shook your head several times. I groaned and facepalmed myself.
You put your coffee cup on the marble table. It’s your second coffee. Here, you have to order second, third coffee or else the waiter will subtly hinting you to go cause it’s brunch and lots of queue. The last time we met was last year on a cafe in South Jakarta. That time, I was nervous to talk to you, I was unable to speak clearly. I was naive back then, building the idea of perfection.
Now it had been an two hours and like a never-ending fireworks, I laid down things that happen over half year. Everything, as blatant as honest as vulnerable, as stupid and as reckless as it is. You knew me since back then, you know me now.
“You know the realities now. You didn’t know it before you get here. So dial down your expectations. Keep an open mind, and see how it goes. You’ll never know. But I’m not going to give you hopes. Expect hardness and pains coming your way. These things will shape a stronger you. It’ll teach you. Maybe not much of professional lesson, but it’s life lesson.”
“I feel like… I’m broken, as a person, you know? Do you think as a soft person, I don’t have place here?”
“Stop talk like a downer.” You get serious, “I think it’s a cultural thing. You keep things to yourself, hesitate to speak up. You’re so emo. You say sorry, you say you’re so grateful, just.. calm down.”
“Then how am I supposed to be? Not showing any emotions?”
And we debate for some more. I didn’t choose the wrong person for sanity and reality checks. You were brutally honest, logical, and savage, showing sides of you I haven’t seen before.
“I was in your situation when I moved here ten years ago— I had three choices.” You whipped your hand in front of my face. As you unfold your stories, I slowly started to see things bit clearer.
_ Sunday’s Brunch With Friend - Part 1.
