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I like how Mo Guanshanâs arc in the "present" chapters revolves around small moments of growth in the face of what has been lost, and how he deals with He Tian crashing back into his life like a wrecking ball.
Guanshan's technically got what he longed for: having He Tian back. But so many years of absence have twisted that desire into a fear of He Tian actually returning to him, scared that if he 'succumbs' again to those feelings he's kept shut (inside a box), it will leave him vulnerable to being left behind again. And we know there is a precedent for this, since we already saw He Tian come back for Christmas only to seemingly leave all over again sometime later.
Until very recently Guanshan has been so cross with He Tian... And not to say he's now completely happy and comfortable with the current """""housemates"""""" situation, but he certainly seems to have mellowed out a little bit.
It feels like that's due Mo starting to understand the pain He Tian's feels when he shuts him out in order to have a veneer of control in the situation. Heâs also realizing that even if He Tian's methods are VERY questionable, everything he does is legitimately for Guan Shan's well-being. It's no coincidence that we've seen some panels where Mo wistfully watches He Tian go. A self-fulfilling prophecy realized right in front him.
In the first instance, it's true that Guanshan is very much in denial about not being hurt by He Tian actually leaving when he pushes him away ("I don't wanna see you! You better not come again... I won't miss you...").
But then, look at my boy now, acknowledging that He Tian is trying to support him in his career and offering to cook him dinner, something that used to bring them together all those years ago. Drama-ass running included!
And in the latest chapter, on a slightly more humorous tone, Mo lashes out at He Tian for his antics, causing He Tian to (fake) sulk away. But immediately after, Mo takes the direct initiative to confess, making sure He Tian knows he is included when Mo said his life was going well. He looks apprehensive and worried. He's so very careful when he fesses up... He truly doesn't want any more fall outs between them.
(obligatory 'He Tian, you little freak idiot!')
Thinking about it, from the first very time we see them sleeping together in the current timeline, we catch a glimpse of said fear of He Tian leaving, even when they spent the night together:
He's scared, but we see him mature and change bit by bit (baaaaby steps) beyond his fears for He Tian. Changing, a bit like when he wanted to become a good student back in their school days to be "worthy" of being by He Tian's side.
Ah, my son(s) with abandonment issues. </3
(Will we see any attempt to address the several elephants in the room from He Tian's side now that Mo seems a bit more open to talk? Who knoooows, who knows. Pls. I'll go insane.)
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I can't believe today is the last Witch Hat Monday for a while đ
I don't want to see anyone become a brimmed hat but boy do I love designing brim hats for everyone. For Richeh I think she would look cool with her crystal ribbons forming the hat, and the scale wolf cloak would compliment it all.
Tetia is next for a hat design! I'm thinking something with clouds and either a dragon or a Brushbully ;)
The hours long painting video, HD image, and PSD file will be DMed on my Patreon
This one suddenly strikes at me like a kitty punch:
Sung Hyunjae: blond, talented, charming, can multitask, good at cooking and planning dates.
Han Yoojin: dark-haired, can and have killed people multiple times, the older sibling who has to mature from early age to take care of the younger brother.
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âSung Hyunjae-ssi."
A true caregiver. Or, just a caregiver.
"I love you.â
[...]
Sung Hyunjae drew a short breath.
"âŠHan Yoojin-gun. Yoojin-ah.â
âNo matter how you change, it's okay. No matter which path you take, it doesnât matter. Just as long as itâs what you want. If you want to live, then live."
And I, too, wished for that.
An invisible power moved, gently surrounding both me and Sung Hyunjae.
[...]
âI love you, is it?â
Sung Hyunjae's hair moved very slightly. For a moment, it seemed to glint like silver.
âYou noticed, right? The keyword.â
âTo some extent.â
Of course, he knew.
âIn the beginning, you used to say it sometimes, to me as well.â
âYes, I tried.â
âBut after a certain point, you stopped. [...] You didnât even joke about it.â
âWell, itâs not something you say easily.â
Going around saying âI love youâ here and there isnât quite right.
âIsnât it the opposite?â
âPardon?â
âA keyword for saying it easily. As a caregiver, itâs a sentiment you should express more than anyone.â
ââŠAh.â
âBut it ironically makes you reluctant to say it.â
Saying âI love youâ isnât bad. In fact, itâs a phrase thatâs good to say a lot. It wouldnât hurt to say it habitually every morning and evening. If itâs sincere, itâs a pleasant thing to hear repeatedly.
âYouâre right. Actually, itâs not a word to feel embarrassed about. Wait, wait!â
âI love you, Yoojin-ah.â
I screamed instinctively. Goosebumps ran all over my body.
âNo, I still canât handle it! I need an adjustment period, ten years at least!â
Sung Hyunjae chuckled as he watched me jump up. [...]
âI assume there was a restriction about revealing the keyword as well.â
âAs sharp as ever. But now, Iâm free from the systemâs influence. The systemâs restrictions are more like conditions for guiding, arenât they?â
[...] Now, I no longer had the system or skill window. [...]
âThe âI love youâ I said earlier was more a way to convey my feelings clearly than a keyword.â
That youâre precious to me, and that I want to help you achieve what you desire.
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