Young & Beautiful April Mendler

I’m seriously losing my mind. I swear, if I hear that song one more time it’s fucking over. I’m done.

I don't know how it's possible but I've heard it that many times I basically know all the words. I think I need to re-evaluate my life. 

I’ll throw down a rope and we’ll go together. My toes are looking a little dull.

See real friends find rope and lift their lame friends out of holes. Oh you get your toes done? I have this weird thing where I can't have people looking at or touching my feet. Feet should not be something people acknowledge.

Its because the dirt is soft, and can easily be carved into stairs. Exit in style.

Hm true, but I hate having dirt under my nails. Speaking of style I really need to get my nails done, I better find a way out of this hole and into a salon.

You’ve dug yourself a hole. Lucky for you its an easy one to get out of.

Why? Is it because I'm actually pretty tall and the hole I dug isn't very deep?

The list comes to a complete tally of; one. The one being you. Unless you count my mom, but she gives pie to everyone, so she doesn’t qualify.

Yeah my list is probably just Daisy and you, assuming that you would actually share pie with me. But you seem like the kinda person who shares pies so. Ugh can I meet your mum? I think I would really like her.

Fantastic! I’ll add you to my list of people who’ll willingly share pie with me. 

Is that a long list, or?

Netflix is a best friend to everyone, but what’s even better are the one-night best friends you meet in the bathrooms at the bar. 

Unfortunately I have made a lot of drunk best friends over the years and definitely regretted it when they call you up the next day wanting to hang out and become apart of your 'entourage'.

Probably, yes. I’d say go for a walk to the bar, there you can socialize and hate life with other people. 

That's probably a better idea than sitting around watching netflix and eating pie. I might even make some new friends.

So long as they’re different from day-to-day, I wouldn’t consider it a rut. But, damn, now I’m craving pie.

Same, well it's almost 1 so Daisy will probably bring a new one around soon. You're welcome to come over and help me eat today's pie? I'll add you to my list people I've been in contact with and then I wont feel so rutty. It's a win win.

Depends. What flavor is the pie?

Well they change from day to day, blueberry, raspberry, apple, pumpkin, pecan. Daisy is surprisingly good at pie making.

I’m struggling to remember why I ever moved out of my mum’s house right now.

Is it because she kept calling you by your first name?

My grandma used to have parakeets and they were pure evil. I hated them so much. 

I've never been around birds before today. But they flap and screech and I don't like it.

I’ve always had a strange fear of crows pecking my eyes out. Is that weird? 

No not at all, birds are terrifying. They are 100% capable of doing something like that.