somebody broke me once, love was a currency.

So, for the past twenty thousand years, anytime anyone’s asked me if I’ve seen Breaking Bad, I just said yes because I think it’s hella embarrassing that I haven’t and I don’t want to be persecuted by my peers, yada yada. Somehow I’ve managed to get away with it--probably because I’m full of spunk and easily distracted as it is, but anyway--even though everyone’s spoiled me on, like, everything. But!

I finally watched it, and holy. Fucking. Shit.

I’ve basically held myself up alone in my apartment for the past week (except for work, but I got sent home last night because I kept calling everyone ‘bitches’ and I’m not really sure how I still have a job but I shalt not question it) and I just finished it and I feel #blessed.

I also feel like I’ve missed basically everything else in life, so if someone’s willing to catch me up to reality (except for the political shit, I’m good on that front) that would be A++++.

ADDIE: FIONNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

@fionahuds: I’ll def come over. And def accept those two nudes with much gratitude.

@theyearofthestar: Join me the wedding circuit. #TeamRad

You can send me one.

@thing1 commented: …. FIVE TIMES?

↳ instagram @addiefinch:

A rare photo of me disobeying my boss’ direct orders and playing “Turn Down For What” five times in a row. I’m still employed but I did not get many tips. Will probably send nudes to help recoup my losses. #sexsells #baddecisions #alsogreatdecisions #besthashtags

↳ 3.7K LIKES ♥

↳ 146 COMMENTS:

↳ instagram @addiefinch:

Zooey is still too afraid to jump off the couch but she’s not afraid to fight her enemies with the fury of a thousand suns. #BunniesOfInstagram #ToughBun

↳ 3.3K LIKES ♥

I’m a sucker for free shots. Also a giant sucker for blondes, with the occasional brunette and every other beautiful lady’s hair color mixed in there. You’ll def be getting a visit from little ole’ fiona. 

I’ll try my best to stay awake, which probably just means I need more booze and good music. I sleep more than I should, but I’ll give it a go. Booze keeps me wide awake, unless it’s wine..so I’ll be good. My list of all women would just be anyone I’ve messed around with, which is surprisingly a smaller list than you’d ever imagine. You should see me at work, I just sit and snack on snacks on snacks, without peanuts of course. Gotta save the kiddos. You shall be surprised. 

Luckily for you, I’m a blonde. Who can give you shots. I’m basically the best person for what you need at this moment in time and probably some other moments in time. 

You think so? Most people complain about our skirts, although I don’t really know why! That all sounds very… salacious.

They could be shorter, but I won’t complain about the gifts we were given. Salacious is a big word but it’s probably accurate as fuck. I’m a salacious human being. I think.

Yoooooo, Addie comin’ in clutch!! Have I mentioned that you’re the best, lately? ‘Cause you’re highkey the best right now, no matter what kind of top you’re wearing.

Four women sounds…like, ambitious? Good luck, lady.

McCarthy!!! Listen, I’m digging this positivity. I love you. I am Mad For Mason™ and I need to see your face, so please come out to the bar tonight. And admire my cleavage whether or not you’re into that kind of thing. Thank you.

can I get in on that ? #toohot

Everybody loves the blazers. Oh, really? You DJ? Do you have a DJ alter ego, like deadmau5? I would love to come and support your turn tables.

Blazers, skirts. Same difference. Well, I claim to DJ. I don’t actually DJ. I do, however, have an alter ego in the event that someone realizes my true potential, and I’m really glad you asked:

DJ CLIT SPIN spinning sexy tunes and sexy women. respectfully.

Cleavage is a very important aspect in my life, as it should be in everyone’s. And some girls just do whatever they can do to make themselves pop out even more. It’s beautiful. No problem, love. Your secret’s safe with me. 

I’ll totally be one of those one to four women..no need to beg. I can bring snacks anyways, I’m probably a professional snacker, yet I don’t get any sort of awards or brand deals for it..It’s a shame. What’re you in the mood for? I’d say be sneaky, but you’re job’s pretty important so you can continue to bartend these ladies nights. 

Right? I’m glad we have this very important thing in common. I knew I could trust you--in which case, free shot!

Nice. I don’t get off until 2am, though, so pack some Red Bull or coffee or whatever it is that gets you #pumped. Also please submit a list of all women you are not okay with joining our soiree because I’m not here for anyone to be uncomfy. Professional Snacker? That’s an amazing and probably unpaid gig that I wish I had. Listen, I’m a fan of basically anything. French fries. Chocolate covered pretzels. BBQ chips. Surprise me.

Oh, that makes much more sense. Sure! I’d love to stop by, and I can even bring friends. Do you need entertainment? I’m pretty sure I could get the Warblettes together in a pinch. I don’t know if the after event is really my speed, but we’ll see how the night goes?

Bring all your friends. It’ll be hoppin’. That’s the fucking cutest offer, and while I’d love for the Warblettes to come (in uniform), we’ve got a DJ. And I’m the unofficial backup DJ, no matter what anyone else may tell you. 

Morning, dude. There’s a ladies night at the bar? I’m totally down. And I’m down for the low cut top. 

One to four? I’m glad you’re not doing something you can’t handle. Hit me up if you need anything, though. 

Yep! I’ll shoot you the address and shit later. My kinda girl, in that case. My motto: if your cleavage looks like it can hold shots all on its own, you get a free shot. 

... Don’t tell my boss.