For a moment I thought I forgot how to get in... It's been so long since I've opened up Tumblr. That was like 2 phones ago. Not much of a life update more like I still work at the same place but at a different job. Life turned a bit right side up then upside down then back up... It's a rollercoaster.
About a year and a half ago I had a mental breakdown. I was reliving a near death experience over and over. That shit hit me hard, specially when I sought support from "friends" but ended up being called other demeaning things. I was pretty much on my own dealing with it afraid to open up to anyone. I did open up to one, hoping the experience was different from before and it was thankfully. To this date it's been pretty much the only person who knows the full story. I still have that vivid memory imprinted in my mind.
I've also had some other dark periods surface up. I can't put into words what they are. They're experiences just as horrible as the one above.
I think I no longer can have a proper relationship. Recently with everyone I've fallen for, they've taken advantage of me. I've developed a repulsive mechanism where I just push the women I like away from me. Sometimes I just want to talk or have someone to listen but it's getting harder and harder.
Whoever you are... If you're reading this... know that I'm okay... Just not feeling well right now.
prguitarman
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
