I like shark tits

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

I haven’t seen this post in like 3 years

IT’S BACK IT’S STILL ACTIVE

Dude I remember this post back when I didn’t even have Tumblr. This is great.

This legendary post… on MY dash? Dang.

I FOUND IT

What if neither of us bite each other and it dies

He seemed harmless, though it didn’t mean she could lower her guard. With a energy beam ready to fire, Starfire towers over the fallen bat. “State your name and intention on this planet”

He cowers a bit as he noticed the energy in her hand “i-i live on this planet m-my name is ferris I’m sorry please d-dont hurt me” his ears flattened his wings wrapping around his body as if to protect himself as little it would do.

“You are, of Earth, and yet you don’t look human. Are you a talking animal?” Starfire asks, lowering her guard as Ferris cowers in front of her.

He nods “y-yeah you could say that just a little uhm… different y-you know?” When she lowered her guard he relaxed a little bit but was still wary of her.

“Oh! You are a pet? I hear the people of Earth take companionship with cute creatures.” Starfire coos a little, outreaching to pat Ferris’ head.

He blushes gently leaning his head into her hand “I-I’m glad you think I’m cute but I’m not really a pet” his fur was nice and soft.

“Not a pet? Then what are you?” Starfire continues scruffling with Ferris’ fur, with a small smile.

He blushes more “I-I’m a bat I’m nothing really special about me i-i guess i can be called a roboticist but that’s really it.”

“Robot… Oh~! You are just like friend Cyborg~!” Starfire muses, stopping the petting to clap her hands in joy

He shrugs "I-I'm not a cyborg but this friend of yours he is?" He looked a tad confused but a little happy she wasn't wary of him

He seemed harmless, though it didn’t mean she could lower her guard. With a energy beam ready to fire, Starfire towers over the fallen bat. “State your name and intention on this planet”

He cowers a bit as he noticed the energy in her hand “i-i live on this planet m-my name is ferris I’m sorry please d-dont hurt me” his ears flattened his wings wrapping around his body as if to protect himself as little it would do.

“You are, of Earth, and yet you don’t look human. Are you a talking animal?” Starfire asks, lowering her guard as Ferris cowers in front of her.

He nods “y-yeah you could say that just a little uhm… different y-you know?” When she lowered her guard he relaxed a little bit but was still wary of her.

“Oh! You are a pet? I hear the people of Earth take companionship with cute creatures.” Starfire coos a little, outreaching to pat Ferris’ head.

He blushes gently leaning his head into her hand “I-I’m glad you think I’m cute but I’m not really a pet” his fur was nice and soft.

“Not a pet? Then what are you?” Starfire continues scruffling with Ferris’ fur, with a small smile.

He blushes more "I-I'm a bat I'm nothing really special about me i-i guess i can be called a roboticist but that's really it."

He seemed harmless, though it didn’t mean she could lower her guard. With a energy beam ready to fire, Starfire towers over the fallen bat. “State your name and intention on this planet”

He cowers a bit as he noticed the energy in her hand “i-i live on this planet m-my name is ferris I’m sorry please d-dont hurt me” his ears flattened his wings wrapping around his body as if to protect himself as little it would do.

“You are, of Earth, and yet you don’t look human. Are you a talking animal?” Starfire asks, lowering her guard as Ferris cowers in front of her.

He nods “y-yeah you could say that just a little uhm… different y-you know?” When she lowered her guard he relaxed a little bit but was still wary of her.

“Oh! You are a pet? I hear the people of Earth take companionship with cute creatures.” Starfire coos a little, outreaching to pat Ferris’ head.

He blushes gently leaning his head into her hand "I-I'm glad you think I'm cute but I'm not really a pet" his fur was nice and soft.

Alice rests her head on his shoulder watching him work.

he’s doing alot of tinkering and other things making sure pieces fit together properly.

She relaxes playing with the fur on his chest and watching him work.

he smiles making gentle trills in the back of his throat making his chest vibrate.

Alice nuzzles him gently, careful not to disturb his work.

he nuzzles back a bit still working

She rests her head on his shoulder.

Soon he stops for a moment and stretches “I need a stretch break”

Alice nods and slides out of his lap, standing up and stretching lightly. “Sounds good to me.”

He cracks his neck a little his wings spreading out as he stretched

“Good cause I’d hate to have to punish you for making me a single mother.”

he smiles “i won’t do that to you” he rubs her body

Sam kisses him softly. “In that case why don’t you show off how well you cook?”

he nods “of course what would you like?”

“Maybe a nice steak?” She suggests.

he nods “sounds good to me”

Sam kisses him and smiles. “Well it’s your place. What are we waiting for?”

He kisses back and starts grabbing stuff for the steak such as seasonings and a few oils and begins cooking.

Sam hugs him from behind, her breasts pressing against his back. One hand reaching down and rubbing his crotch. “Mind if I have an appetizer~?”

He moans smiling "mmmhhh go ahead you don't need my permission"

Drake smiles putting everything on the table while waiting for her.

she soon comes in wearing the robe and sits down “mmmm smells good”

“That’s because it’s made with love.” Drake sits down, pulling her into his lap. “Though I’d prefer it if you sat here.” He smiles.

she looks to him “oh well this seat certainly has a bit more comfort”

He kisses her lovingly. “Good cause I like it when you use this seat.”

she giggles “I’m glad”

“Especially since I can do this.” He gives her ass a gentle squeeze.

She moans “mmhhh naughty, you like my ass?”

Drake chuckles, kissing her neck. “I like every part of you gorgeous.”

She giggles "you flatterer"

“Now be a dear and get under the table. I want you to eat me out while we wait for dinner.”

he nods and looks around nervously before going under the table like she said.

Tyla spreads her legs revealing the lack of panties under her skirt.

he gently starts licking her pussy closing her eyes his ears flattening.

Tyla moans softly resting a hand on top of his head and placing a leg over his shoulder.

he licks deeper in response to her hand going on his head

“That feels so good handsome.” Tyla bites her lip, trying to keep quiet so she doesnt bother anyone.

He keeps licking deeply his ears flattening and his eyes closing as he enjoyed the moment pleasing her.

Tyla moans softly as her juices flow into his mouth. Her pussy squeezing his tongue as she began nesting her orgasm.

He laps up her juices eagerly his tail wagging a little bit.

“Oh not here. That’ll happen after your shift is over.” She replies her own cock beginning to throb each pulse hitting his prostate.

he moans more his legs shaking in pleasure as he was getting close to cumming.

She gives his neck a gentle bite. “Careful now, your customers might not like a facial.”

he tilts his head to the side to give her better access “b-but you feel so good.”

“Well then you’d better find someone to give that facial to.” She starts kissing his neck and ear.

he moans more “mmmfff couldn’t i just cum on the floor mistress”

Tyla rolls her eyes, aiming his cock into a glass. “You could but this will he more fun~”

He panted soon cumming in the glass filling it a good amount as he moans loudly “MMMFF!!” he panted heavily when he finished.

Tyla giggles as she picks up the glass. Drinking every last drop of his cum as she cums hard. Her hot seed filling his ass.

He moans more as he feels her fill up his ass "aaahhnn!!"

Alice rests her head on his shoulder watching him work.

he’s doing alot of tinkering and other things making sure pieces fit together properly.

She relaxes playing with the fur on his chest and watching him work.

he smiles making gentle trills in the back of his throat making his chest vibrate.

Alice nuzzles him gently, careful not to disturb his work.

he nuzzles back a bit still working

She rests her head on his shoulder.

Soon he stops for a moment and stretches "I need a stretch break"

“Good cause I’d hate to have to punish you for making me a single mother.”

he smiles “i won’t do that to you” he rubs her body

Sam kisses him softly. “In that case why don’t you show off how well you cook?”

he nods “of course what would you like?”

“Maybe a nice steak?” She suggests.

he nods “sounds good to me”

Sam kisses him and smiles. “Well it’s your place. What are we waiting for?”

He kisses back and starts grabbing stuff for the steak such as seasonings and a few oils and begins cooking.

Drake smiles putting everything on the table while waiting for her.

she soon comes in wearing the robe and sits down “mmmm smells good”

“That’s because it’s made with love.” Drake sits down, pulling her into his lap. “Though I’d prefer it if you sat here.” He smiles.

she looks to him “oh well this seat certainly has a bit more comfort”

He kisses her lovingly. “Good cause I like it when you use this seat.”

she giggles “I’m glad”

“Especially since I can do this.” He gives her ass a gentle squeeze.

She moans "mmhhh naughty, you like my ass?"

“Now be a dear and get under the table. I want you to eat me out while we wait for dinner.”

he nods and looks around nervously before going under the table like she said.

Tyla spreads her legs revealing the lack of panties under her skirt.

he gently starts licking her pussy closing her eyes his ears flattening.

Tyla moans softly resting a hand on top of his head and placing a leg over his shoulder.

he licks deeper in response to her hand going on his head

“That feels so good handsome.” Tyla bites her lip, trying to keep quiet so she doesnt bother anyone.

He keeps licking deeply his ears flattening and his eyes closing as he enjoyed the moment pleasing her.

“Oh not here. That’ll happen after your shift is over.” She replies her own cock beginning to throb each pulse hitting his prostate.

he moans more his legs shaking in pleasure as he was getting close to cumming.

She gives his neck a gentle bite. “Careful now, your customers might not like a facial.”

he tilts his head to the side to give her better access “b-but you feel so good.”

“Well then you’d better find someone to give that facial to.” She starts kissing his neck and ear.

he moans more “mmmfff couldn’t i just cum on the floor mistress”

Tyla rolls her eyes, aiming his cock into a glass. “You could but this will he more fun~”

He panted soon cumming in the glass filling it a good amount as he moans loudly "MMMFF!!" he panted heavily when he finished.

He seemed harmless, though it didn’t mean she could lower her guard. With a energy beam ready to fire, Starfire towers over the fallen bat. “State your name and intention on this planet”

He cowers a bit as he noticed the energy in her hand “i-i live on this planet m-my name is ferris I’m sorry please d-dont hurt me” his ears flattened his wings wrapping around his body as if to protect himself as little it would do.

“You are, of Earth, and yet you don’t look human. Are you a talking animal?” Starfire asks, lowering her guard as Ferris cowers in front of her.

He nods "y-yeah you could say that just a little uhm... different y-you know?" When she lowered her guard he relaxed a little bit but was still wary of her.

He seemed harmless, though it didn’t mean she could lower her guard. With a energy beam ready to fire, Starfire towers over the fallen bat. “State your name and intention on this planet”

He cowers a bit as he noticed the energy in her hand "i-i live on this planet m-my name is ferris I'm sorry please d-dont hurt me" his ears flattened his wings wrapping around his body as if to protect himself as little it would do.