I will be going now.
If you still want to get in touch with me, you can try reaching out to my Discord, but that too is getting deleted eventually.
You can also try reaching out to @jaybird1306 or one of the other blogs that knew me well enough to have my contact info. They should be able to get in touch with me so I can get in touch with you.
I do not have social media, but I do have e-mail, text, and Signal.
I wish everyone well.
I will miss you all and this space very very much.
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25 years ago an unknown Chinese protester stood in front of a tank in defiance of the government. No one knows the identity of the man but he was given the nick name “Tank Man”. This is one of the most iconic photographs of the century.
It’s actually been 27 years now since the incident known as the Tiananmen Square Massacre occurred.
The picture above, famously referred to as “The Tank Man” was actually taken on June 5, the day after the massacre.
(Which honestly makes him the one of the bravest person, to go back and stand up to a regime after such a terrible event transpired)
So what happened?
I’m gonna give the TL;DR version:
April 15, 1989. Hu Yaobang, a former Communist Party Chief dies.
Many people, including workers, laborer, students and some officials come to mourn. You see, those protestors were originally there to mourn, not protest.
Time passed and there were some hunger strikes, and protests, and a call for accountability and reform from the government.
Eventually, things went south, because the communist party doesn’t have time to deal with these sorts of “demands” and grievances.
Keep in mind, the people wanted not the end of the Communist Party, but for the party to stop with the official corruption, rule of law, and the gross monopoly of information and power.
Incidentally, China still suffers from all of these SAME problems to this day…
June 3, 1989. The massacre started at night to disperse the crowd. Many were shot, wounded, and killed.
June 4, 1989. Some of the parents of the protestors who never came home went looking for them. It was still total mayhem.
June 5, 1989. The iconic image of the tank man was taken. To this day, no one knows what became of this person.
Content Warning for video: blood
“Tell the world…”
I cannot stress how important it is that people remember and know about this event.
Do you know how China responded? With lies and censorship.
Even now, in 2016, we do not have an official death toll on the Tiananmen Square Massacre, the Chinese government doesn’t even acknowledge the event as a “massacre”. And they weaves these cover stories of “counter revolutionaries trying to overthrow the government”. Therefore, the violence was necessary to ~protect~ the people. (Or some bullshit like that)
The amount of lying and censorship in China is, quite frankly, scary amazing.
Tumblr, which somehow managed to fly under their radar, found itself being blocked in that country.
After all, tell a lie often enough and it becomes the truth.
And those who remember the incident in China?
…………well, you tell me.
Please at least REMEMBER this tragedy. Untold innocent lives were lost, and a nation has been fed a lie for almost three decades now from their oppressive af regime.
Tiananmen Square happened when I was seven, and let’s just say children have a really interesting way of interpreting information.
I just remember thinking it was a happy event, because all these people were out on the street, and at first the army were interacting with these people. And it almost looked like a festival because people were singing and talking, and hopeful. And then tv coverage for the events got cut off.
The blocking of the live coverage had all the adults anxious, nobody said anything for ages, I just remember my grandmother saying, “Just be glad your father isn’t in China, now.”
And that stuck with me to this day. Because yeah, if dad had been in China then he would have been in Beijing studying, he would have been on those streets with those other students.
It was the first time I knew that something horrible had happened to all those people I saw on the television. I don’t even remember how I knew that the army must have shot at the civilians, I just knew. Because when you grow up in China, especially in the 80s you knew there were things you don’t say, that you can’t express in a public forum, because that can get you and your family in trouble. You just knew, and it didn’t fucking matter if your were a child or an adult.
To this day I don’t remember how I found out what happened in Tiananmen Square, because the news covered it up, but people found out. My grandparents knew, my uncles and aunts knew. Extended family visited my grandparents, I remember people telling my mother not to mention my father’s name because my father was a Chinese Beijing University graduate, who had gone overseas. Because there were people who died in the protests that my dad knew.
And it was all just so frightening because nobody was telling me directly what was happening, but I just knew that all the people on the streets was probably dead.
Looking back on it, Tiananmen Square instilled in a me a life long distrust of governments, but especially the Chinese government. I’m ethnically Chinese but I never want to return to China, not even for a holiday, and this has been my attitude even before Xi Jinping took power. Because Tiananmen Square was a peaceful protest that ended up with the army using heavy artillery against their own people. How can you trust in a system, in a government like that? Because if my dad had delayed further studies overseas by two years he would have been one of those students, one of those fucking kids on the streets that would have died.
And you know, when the Umbrella movement was happening in Hong Kong I was deeply panicked and just anxious because I kept on thinking all those people, all those kids are going to be killed. And when that didn’t happen it was such a relief.
When I found out years later that Chinese people a few years younger than me didn’t know what happened in Tiananmen Square I was so fucking angry. I can’t even articulate the rage and the sheer tiredness of it all.
Dad and I talked about Tiananmen Square a few times through the years, broadly, politically, and at times with sheer rage on dad’s part. I don’t even know what I wanted to say, but just fuck this fucking regime.
I was In Hong Kong when Tiananamen Square Massacre happened. Hong Kong was still a British colony then and had full freedom of press, and its reporters were there recording live footage while trying to stay as long as possible when tanks rolled in and shots were fired, when students lay in blood and their fellow students piled the injured bodies on those wooden plank carts to get them to the hospitals, while asking the Hong Kongers who were there to support the movement to please remember that night and spread the story of the massacre far and wide, because they already knew they would be silenced, if not imprisoned or murdered.
That night, and in the upcoming months, Hong Kong was in perpetual tears, and in literal shock.
Hong Kongers were mostly Chinese, just south of the border with people traveling back and forth. It also shared a language, and so HKers could follow the whole movement and hear news that western media had little access to without the distorting effect of translations. And they followed very closely, because by then, Hong Kong was already scheduled to be returned to China in 8 years time. How the Chinese government dealt with the movement would be a sign of how it’d treat dissent, how it’d treat people who’re used to the idea and practice of freedom.
What they saw was deadly. Ugly. It broke the hearts of millions of Hong Kongers who trusted that The Chinese Government had left its Great Leap Forward, its Cultural Revolution days behind. Those who could leave, left. Everyday the airport was filled with families about to be torn apart, who decided to trade the life they had in one of the richest, most vibrant and freest city at the time with the unknown, just so their own children would have the freedom to speak their minds, to have a higher education and not to be seen as the enemy of the state because higher education always led to independent thinking, to questioning, to asking for a better government as those university students in Beijing in the spring and summer of 1989 did.
The heartbreak and fear was almost palpable in its intensity. Most HKers were refugees from China or 1st generation of them. Unlike the HK youths now protesting who are more generations removed, they felt much more connected to the people in China. They still saw themselves as Chinese, like those students in Beijing. They mourned. They cried and cried and cried. They wore black or white everyday like it was the death of their closest relatives. TV stations played these Tiananmen Square clips all day. I can still play many of them out of my memory, can still recite what the students and government officials said (for example, they didn’t use tear gas because they only had three), the songs played — I know every word of China’s national anthem for that reason; the students were singing it. They were patriotic. They demanded reforms because they wanted their country to do better. 8964 was and still is, etched in my psyche. It is just one of the long list of atrocities this government has done against its people, but this one, I was close enough to feel it.
China censored the June 4th Massacre quickly and thoroughly — if you believe China has censored queer material, for example, I’d say this — the extent of that censorship is not even close to what a true China censorship does. A true Chinese censorship is you can’t find the info, or a hint of that info anywhere. You can’t talk about it in a roundabout away. You can’t change some elements of time/place/person and pretend it’s fictional. It would literally ban the numbers 8,9,6,4 from search results, even though the searcher may really be just be interested in the numbers themselves. Whoever speaks of it may be sent to the police station for a “discussion”; their family would be sent, if the speaker is outside China; the speaker may be arrested, and may never be seen again.
The western worlds pretended to be enraged about the massacre for a while and soon forgot about it, kept its diplomatic relations with China and did business with its government as usual. UK returned Hong Kong to China as scheduled, on July 1st, 1997. The city has been the only place that insisted on the mourning the victims and had done so insistently, consistently for 30 years, holding a yearly candlelight vigil in Victoria Park until this year, when because of the protests, the Chinese government decided to not even pretend to honour the international treaty they signed that promised HK its freedom until 2047 anymore. They shut the vigil down in the name of the pandemic (there were <10 cases/day then). Still, some people risked being arrested to go to Victoria park and lit their candles.
The Chinese government fears HKers for this reason. They are outside their iron curtain / firewall but have always been close enough geographically, culturally and ethnically to know and more so, to care. And there’s nothing more a government like China’s fear than people who insist on remembering the truth. With the National Security Law in place in Hong Kong now, probably the yearly vigils can’t continue. To understand how insane that law is, by writing this reblog, by saying things that make you dislike the Chinese government, I’m already in violation of its Article 38. It doesn’t matter I’m writing it in a foreign country. It doesn’t matter I’m a foreign citizen. That law includes everyone on Earth.
Yes, that includes you. And you. And you. And you. They can arrest you for trying to overthrow the Chinese government if you pass the borders of Hong Kong.
Please help remember 8964 Tiananmen Square Massacre. That summer day, Beijing citizens asked Hong Kongers to please remember this event for them because they knew they wouldn’t be able to afford to remember it themselves. Now that Hong Kongers can’t afford to remember it anymore, I’m hoping that everyone who reads this to please remember it, for the students who perished only because they wanted their government to be better, for the Tank Man who, on his way home with his groceries, decided to stand in front of a tank all by himself because it was the right thing to do.
I mean, when people literally have to invent the date “May 35th” because “June 4th” is censored, you know that there’s something major that people in power don’t want to have discussed.
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If you haven’t heard, today PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome has been renamed to Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome. This change reflects that this is not a reproductive “problem” but a whole body disease.
(Text: PCOS affects an estimated 10-13% of reproductive-aged women. It is estimated that up to 70% of women with PCOS worldwide do not know they have this condition.)
The Lancet link about shift to PMOS. Spread this to everyone who works in health care now. People with uteruses and ovaries are in agony - yes, the whole body suffers a crisis every fkn month - and health care should help
Transcripted version below, for anyone who'd rather read than watch:
(Themsbloke plays two characters in the video, so I've just labelled them A and B, for simplicity's sake)
A:
Oh my fucking god. I've just realised something incredible.
If you want to erase an illness, you don't deny it exists.
You rename it.
I'll take a devastating neurological illness, one that collapses immune systems, starves muscles of oxygen, scrambles blood flow to the brain, and I'll give it a name that sounds like being a bit knackered.
B:
You mean...
A:
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
B:
That's unforgivable.
A:
Perfect, isn't it? Because now, when people lose the ability to stand, to speak clearly, to tolerate light, sound, touch, everyone will think they just need an early fucking night!
B:
What does it actually do to them?
A:
It destroys them. It turns effort into poison. It makes thinking feel like lifting concrete. It makes bodies crash so hard people can't feed themselves, they can't wash, they can't remember words! Some will lie in dark rooms for years.
B:
Years?
A:
Decades. Children will get it. Teenagers will lose their education. Adults will lose careers, independence, homes.
I'll make exertion Actively dangerous, where one walk, one conversation, one shower can cause a multi-day systemic collapse.
B:
That's sadistic.
A:
I'll erase it from medical textbooks. I'll defund research. I'll tell patients to Exercise, even when exercise physically harms them!
B:
So, this isn't fatigue?
A:
... What did you just fucking say to me?
B:
... This isn't fatigue?
A:
No. Fatigue is a warning light. This is systemic collapse. Hmm?
This is the body failing to recover from efforts!
This is energy that does not replenish! Huh?
This is a disease where Trying makes you Worse!!
B:
Why hasn't this been taken seriously?
A:
Because of the name. Because once you call it 'Fatigue', you give people permission to dismiss it. Doctors stop listening, government stop funding, friends stop believing, and patients stop trusting their own reality.
B:
So the label matters.
A:
The label is everything. Because when you misname suffering, you mistreat it, you mismanage it, you abandon the people inside it, and ME/CFS patients have been abandoned for generations.
B:
So what are they fighting for now?
A:
To be believed, to be studied, and to be named fucking correctly. Because ME/CFS is not tiredness, laziness, nor a fear of effort; It's a brutal, disabling, life-altering disease. And people are still disappearing, unheard, into dark rooms because we chose a comforting lie over an accurate truth.
B:
So what should we call it?
A:
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Say it properly.
B:
*fumbles, not even getting past the first M*
A:
Myalgic
B:
Myalgic
A:
En-ceph-a-lo...
B:
Encephalo
A:
My-e-li-tis
B:
Myelitis.
A:
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
B:
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
A:
Good.
Right! Time to invent Brain Fog!
*end credits jingle from Looney Toons plays, complete with the "That's all, folks!" written on the screen*
This week is ME/CFS Awareness Week (at least for some of the world), so shout out to all the folks out there living with this condition and here is a masterlist of every resource I've found so far on myalgic encephalomyelitis...
🔹 General info:
It’s not just ‘chronic fatigue’: ME/CFS is much more than being tired
What is Post-Exertional Malaise?
🔹 Diagnosis:
Diagnosis of ME/CFS; What You Need to Know
ME/CFS and Blood Tests – an in-depth look at what blood tests should be done to ensure your diagnosis of ME/CFS is correct, what the results mean, and when blood tests should be repeated
🔹 Managing fatigue:
Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM) – What It Is and How To Avoid It
Pacing Tactics
Ideas for Managing Fatigue (Note: This piece is sponsored by CareCo Ltd and features affiliate links)
🔹 Other symptoms:
Strategies for Brain Fog – This article is aimed at people with long-COVID but the strategies suggested may work for anyone dealing with brain fog
Sleep Tips for New Spoonies – not specifically aimed at ME/CFS but many of the tips will apply
🔹 How to cope with ME/CFS:
Energy Conservation – a Tumblr post by @rthritis
Energy Conservation Techniques; Home Management – a Tumblr post by @rthritis
How to Keep House While Drowning: A gentle approach to cleaning and organising by KC Davis [📖 book recommendation]
11 Tips For Making Meal Prep Easier to Save Spoons
The Tray™ – how to feed yourself without preparing food [🎥 video]
Tips to make showering easier when you are physically disabled – a Tumblr thread not specifically aimed at ME/CFS but many of the tips will apply
The 7 Types of Rest & How to Use Them to Feel Better [🎥 video]
The Bedbound Activity Masterlist
🔹 Treatment, diet, and lifestyle:
All Current ME/CFS Treatments
The low histamine diet – a resource from Johns Hopkins' ME/CFS clinic
Dietary Supplementation for Fatigue Symptoms in ME/CFS – a journal article looking into supplements like L-carnitine and guanidinoacetic acid, oxaloacetate, CoQ10–selenium combination, NADH and NADH-CoQ10 combination [📃 research]
Fact Sheet: Food and ME/CFS – covers what foods are best to base your diet on plus some information about supplements, weight gain, weight loss, gastrointestinal symptoms, and when to see a dietitian; by The Association of UK Dietitians
🔹 Other:
Tips for Applying for Benefits with ME/CFS [🇬🇧 UK]
Please let me know what other resources you would like to see on ME/CFS; asks (including anons) are always open and you're welcome to reblog or comment to make a suggestion.
There is no soul.
There is no special human essence.
We are not any more or less alive than anything else.
Humans were not created with (nor did they evolve into) a special role in life, the world, and/or the universe separate or unique from other animals.
The world existed before us. The world will exist after us.
We are not some end point of evolution.
We are not on some linear path towards perfecting ourselves via evolution or our own machinations.
Humans, including you, are animals in the exact same way all other animals are and have been animals.
Humans, including you, are interconnected with the planet and everything on it in the exact same way all other animals are and have been.
Humans are not more or less superior to other animals.
Humans are not incomparably good or bad as a species.
Species like homo sapiens are rare, not singularly unique.
Sentience is not unique to humans.
Intelligence is not unique to humans.
Morality is not unique to humans.
Culture is not unique to humans.
Tool use is not unique to humans.
Tool creation is not unique to humans.
Language is not unique to humans.
Agriculture is not unique to humans.
Domestication is not unique to humans.
Civilization is not unique to humans.
War is not unique to humans.
Globalization is not unique to humans.
Etc etc etc.
Even the ability to defy "nature" is not unique to humans.
In fact, we have not been the first to do any of the things I listed.
Most of these were achieved before homo sapiens came into being.
We are a small part of animal kind.
We are a tiny part of Earth's history.
The faster humans can accept this the faster we can move on to more important and pressing matters.
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Join the Total Woman Victory Editorial Team on Monday, April 20 at 8PM EST for a Twitter Space! 💚
We’ll be talking TWV7: discussing the theme, how the submission process works, what a helpful proposal looks like, and taking questions! If you’re not able to make it, remember you can always DM us with any questions you have at any time 😊
We’ll see you then! 🌻 Link below!
Proposals will CLOSE in SIX DAYS on 4/22 at 11:59PM EST for Total Woman Victory Volume 2 Issue 3: “Our Earth, Ourselves” ☀️🌍🌿
Submit short stories, informative or argumentative articles, poetry, book reviews, interviews, art, and more at totalwomanvictory.com/submit.
Be sure to check out the newly updated section on our Submit page about contributor expectations for more information on contributing!
“Our Earth, Ourselves” unearths the inextricability of the oppression of women and the destruction of the earth. Oceans, nations, and even Earth itself are commonly referred to with female terms—from “Mother Nature” to “Mother India”—while extractivism, resource depletion, biospheric pollution, and the conquest of land mirror the male conquest of female bodies. Consumerism—including booming industries such as meat, makeup, fashion, and technology—is connected to the subjugation of women. Imperialism exacerbates both female oppression and Earth’s destruction, deeply tying Third World women to their environment. Over time, scientific data has vindicated ecofeminists who drew these connections decades prior. This issue further concerns female food insecurity, consequences of AI, denial of land and territorial displacement, exploitation of land laborers, the slave trade, and more. How does the destruction of our Earth affect our very bodies?
As the tree canopy closes in late May and shuts out all but the faintest rays of sunlight, the last of the spring ephemerals cede dominion of the forest floor to an onslaught of ferns, mosses, and fungi. By mid-summer, these shade-tolerant organisms are the dominant life-forms of the deep woods. A sampling of some of the fern species in the local woods (from top): sensitive fern (Onoclea sensibilis); intermediate wood fern (Dryopteris intermedia); Christmas fern (Polystichum acrostichoides); New York fern (Thelypteris noveboracensis); narrow-leaved glade fern (Diplazium pycnocarpon); interrupted fern (Osmunda claytoniana); bracken fern (Pteridium aquilinum); and northern maidenhair fern (Adiantum pedatum).
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