Fandambolings

On the one hand, he can be so good with people who are new to the game or struggling with it. Q fucking up over Silvia’s laptop? Well, it’s done now, all they can do is fix it. Paloma saying she had three week’s training? This’ll be a lark. Camille frozen in the fire? Everything will be alright one way or the other. Kincade dropping his bullets in fear? Bond’s right behind him.

The conditions:

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

I'm 40!

Cat Dad James Bond part 14 Start over at part one | go back to part 13

***

Working Human Resources for MI6 was never going to be the easiest job, Bond of all agents had given her the most headaches but at the moment her heart ached for him.

"Yes, all consensual, I would never harm Q, never do anything he didn't want." Bond gave her the usual charming, reassuring smile he gave every conversation they had but it was starting to show strain.

"No Commander. I apologise if I have not explained clearly enough over the last half hour." Taking a deep breath in, all she could do was go for it. A huff interrupted her, easily interpreted as frustration. "So speak plainly please, maybe we can drop the beurocratese for a moment." So she did and watched her words Finally sink in.

"We need to confirm that you have not been pressured or coerced into this relationship Commander. We are trying to confirm that you, yourself, are safe. Anyone with eyes would know that you would never harm the Quatermaster. We need to be sure you are not being taken advantage of by a man who is technically your superior."

The colour drained from Bond's face and she was worried she had found an actual problem. But when he spoke it was quiet frozen steel. Subdued, hard, but brittle.

"So the only time anyone ever thinks to honestly check on me is when I'm finally happy, I'm in love." Bond got smoothly to his feet, his voice low and a bit robotic. "I'm am under no duress, I was not coerced to be with the man I love. I do not fear the Quatermaster nor does he show me any favour within our working relationship."

"Thank you Commander Bond." She had no idea where she found her voice, his eyes were full of ice and fire, a hot enough flame burns blue. "That will..."

"Be all." He finished for her with a small smile, a polite ghost of his usual charm. She kept her hands on her desk, no way should could finish the paperwork with them shaking. Every 00 signed thier lives over to MI6, but they were never supposed to feel Owned.

She could understand how 007 of all of them might feel a bit like property after all these years. A beautiful dangerous Thing with no life beyond the suits, the guns, and the missions.

ONE:

007 can and WILL make off with Any prototype not Nailed down to the table. Lock boxes do not work, he either picks the lock open, jimmies the Hinges themselves, or makes off with the whole box. You learn Very quickly to watch him if you want your ideas to survive.

He's a good sport though, if you catch him he will give it back. But you have to be brave enough to basically Scold a 00 and Demand it's return.

Q check 007 Constantly, sometimes demanding he empty his pockets to retrieve something for a less ballsy Q-Brancher which needs to Not be destroyed.

TWO: