upon her sword the sunlight shone

“I should like to go someplace very beautiful with you. Someplace with a mountain, or a river, or the sea. Someplace secluded, where we can laugh as loudly or as quietly as we like without any consequence. Someplace gentle, with every colour under the sun. I should like to fall in love with you there, a place we can remember for the rest of our lives.”

“When you love someone you tend to tell them so much about your past because you’re trying to catch up to the present moment. You’re trying to say, my past has been bloody. My past has been as painful and pounding as an ear ache, but I am still here. I survived it. You’re trying to say, here I am before you. I can be brutal. I can be as harsh and unforgiving as sun burn, but this is how I got to this moment. This is who I am. I am not always kind and lovely, I am so often fierce and cutting and unforgiving. I have made some mistakes I’m still trying to forgive myself for. Please accept it. Please try to love me for it. Here is the muscle and bone of me. It’s frightening. It’s a roller coaster. Here is the meat of me, after I’ve shed my skin, after I’ve left the cicada shell behind. It’s manic. It’s a monster, but it will try to love you well. It will try to leave fingerprints all over you.”

“still black water as deep as forever as cold as the sky as still as my heart when your voice is gone I shall freeze in hell of course I love you you saved my life”