L O S T ?

““You gave me panic attacks and I thought it was love.””

“I loved you and you knew it and you didn’t love me but that didn’t stop you from taking me apart piece by piece until I was nothing”

“Maybe you are just a symptom of my illness. Maybe if I loved myself I would never have loved you.”

“I want someone to love me and hold me like there is no one else that they will ever want.”

i like to tell myself that i’ve moved on, but if you texted at 2 am, i’d still answer.

i find myself reliving the memories i have of you and it hurts so much because i miss you and i wish we could go back to how things used to be but we’re far too different now.

i think in another life, we could’ve made it. maybe we could’ve gotten that apartment in the city that i told you about and maybe we’d stay up late dancing around the kitchen barefoot in our pyjamas. but these are all just dangerous thoughts and mindless fantasies because in the end, we’re here and not there and you love her and not me.

And I think what makes this even more sad is the fact that I’d be willing to forget everything if it meant you’d stay. Because I wanted it to be you. The entire universe knows I had my heart set on you.