MBTI&Shit

Aries: Irritating firecracker with a volatile go-getter attitude

Taurus: Stubborn, know-it-all with an inability to verbalize feelings

Gemini: Short attention spanned crowd pleaser with great knowledge of everything, but their feelings

Cancer: Hypersensitive whiner willing to cling to anyone who shows attention

Leo: Self-centered enthusiast who believes there is only ME in the team

Virgo: Fussy perfectionist incredibly unsettled by anything out of place

Libra: Annoyingly indecisive socialite in search for the perfect lover that doesn’t exist

Scorpio: Mysterious loner who uses intimidation to distract others from how unbearably emotional they are

Sagittarius: Loud mouth optimist living by a no-strings-attached philosophy(sex included)

Capricorn: Ruthlessly ambitious closet pervert afraid of losing control

Aquarius: Pensive trailblazer with a penchant for stalking

Pisces: Wishy-washy emotional nutcase concerned with otherworldly happenings

ft. unhealthy Ti

IxTP: Sorry for being snippy earlier…

IxFx: … *nods*

enfp:

-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours

isfp:

-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop

infj:

-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it

-CATS™

-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)

intj:

-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies

esfj:

-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim

infp:

-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

entp:

-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party

estp:

-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves

-fuckboys™

-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

entj:

-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying

istp:

-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks

istj:

-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.

enfj:

-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you

intp:

-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff

esfp:

-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine

isfj:

-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr

estj:

-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

Seems quiet, actually loud: INFP, ENFJ, INTP, INFJ, INTJ

Seems quiet, is quiet: ISTJ, ISFJ, ISFP

Seems loud, actually quiet: ISTP

Seems loud, is loud: ENFP, ENTP, ESTP, ESFP, ESFJ, ESTJ

Thanks. Yes, certain MBTI types show trends when it comes to problematic behaviors. My top one for each cognitive function:

High Te (ENTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ISTJ): The Sledgehammer

Summary: Uses a one-size-fits-all solution for different sized problems.

Example:

Using brute force to power through situations that might require more patience, finesse, and reflection.

“This worked great for me, you’re dumb not to do the same.”

“Don’t pursue a career in art, you’re going to be poor. Go into business, law, or medicine.”

Impact: The problem with being a hammer is that you’ll start to see everything and everyone as a nail. It also makes people feel like their opinions and points of view are less valuable than yours. It also falsely presumes that the choice which yields the best output objectively (example: the job that yields the most money) is the best. It negates the reality that people have different indicators for success because there isn’t only one correct answer to every question.

Solution: Incorporate subjective variables into your objective logical frameworks.

High Ti (INTP, ISTP, ENTP, ESTP): The Hamster Wheel

Summary: Invalidates everything in a perpetual logic loop.

Example:

“Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?” x1,000,000

Impact: You succeed at winning debates but fail at solving problems. Whether or not you can rationalize the validity of money doesn’t take away from the fact you still have bills to pay at the end of the day. Whether or not you can rationalize the value of grades and traditional education doesn’t take away from the fact you’ll be denied entry into many careers without the right qualifications. Whether or not you can rationalize that having children is a logical idea or not doesn’t take away from the fact that many people aspire to be parents. The validity of other people’s goals, dreams, concerns, and issues are not contingent on whether or not they can explain them to your satisfaction.

Solution: Create solutions, answers, and actions for every hole you poke in other people’s logic– not more problems.

High Fe (ENFJ, ESFJ, INFJ, ISFJ): The Guilt Trip

Summary: Guilt trip. verb. to make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something.

Example: Self-explanatory.

Impact: This is manipulation. You’ll get on people’s nerves and make them miserable because you’ve forced them into situations they didn’t willingly want to enter or participate in of their own accord. Secondly, you haven’t provided solid concrete reasons and logic for why someone should do something, it’s an argument made without taking into consideration the other person’s comfort or needs. 

Solution: Explain clearly and transparently why you want someone to do something (yes, it’s really that simple).

High Fi (INFP, ISFP, ESFP, ISFP): The Cloudy Mirror

Summary: Judges people for things they don’t want to be judged for.

Example:

“I wish society wouldn’t judge me for not wanting to have children and not wanting to be a housewife.” [Proceeds to judge people who want to have children and want to be a housewife]

“Not everyone wants to be rich in life, we all have different definitions of success that should be respected.” [Doesn’t respect people who want to be rich in life, automatically think these people are greedy sell-outs]

Impact: This is hypocrisy. It also comes off as illogical and presumptuous when people’s intents and motivations are automatically filled in by you. Some people buy sports cars because they actually have a passion for driving– they’re not necessarily materialistic. Some people seek high-paying careers at the expense of personal passions because they have obligations and goals they’d like to reach– they’re not necessarily greedy. Some people like traditional gender roles in relationships because that’s their personal choice– they’re not necessarily oppressed and/or close-minded. 

Solution: Accept that “conformity” in behavior, goals, aspirations, appearance, etc. doesn’t equate to misery and/or lack of authenticity.

High Ne (ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP): The Whiplash*

Summary: Chronic quitting and the inability to commit due to impatience and lack of discipline.

*Whiplash: noun. a neck injury due to forceful, rapid back-and-forth movement of the neck, like the cracking of a whip.

Example:

“I’m going to do A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J … Z!” [Does none of it]

“Let’s do this. Let’s do that. Let’s go back to doing this. Let’s go back to doing that.”

“I want to have six-pack abs! I’m going to be SHREDDED.” [Exercises and eats well for one day then goes back to bad habits the next day]

Impact: People stop taking you seriously because you can’t execute on your promises, it dilutes the weight of your words and it corrodes respect (ex: “Yeah, uh-huh, sure you will, buddy.”). No one is immediately an expert at something the first try– seeds take time to grow and you’re no exception to this rule. Developing expertise and skills require time, commitment, and consistency. Results don’t happen overnight.

Solution: Underpromise and overdeliver– don’t overpromise and underdeliver.

High Ni (INTJ, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ): The Nutcracker

Summary: Hits people below the belt using knowledge those people shared against them.

Example:

Someone is insecure about their weight, you insult their weight.

Someone is insecure about their skin color, you make a comment about their skin color.

Someone tells you a secret, you expose it.

Impact: People won’t confide in you for fear you’ll use what they told you against them. This creates barriers to having close and meaningful friendships because people will view and treat you like a ticking time bomb they can’t let their guard down around. Understand that certain topics and comebacks are off-limits no matter how you feel about the person at the moment; certain words and actions have a lasting impact on your relationships. Memories fade but scars last.

Solution: The nuclear option should be your last resort, never your first.

High Se (ESTP, ESFP, ISTP, ISFP): The Blindfire*

Summary: Leaps before they look.

*Blindfire: noun. The term referring to the act of operating a firearm without looking at what one is shooting at.

Example:

Winging it, all the time.

“Go go go go go!”

Google Search: “Donald+Trump”

Impact: Your lack of foresight and lack of planning will set you back even further from your goals because immediate rewards and instant gratification often only provide short-term benefits that rarely last. There’s a proverb that’s applicable here: “measure twice, cut once” which means that investing time and energy up front to do it correctly the first time will save a ton of time, money, energy, and grief later down the line.

Solution: Stop, drop, and roll think if the path you’re on actually leads to where you want to go.

High Si (ISTJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ): The Helicopter

Summary: Micromanaging, nitpicking people to death.

Example:

“Write the email but let me review and edit before you send it.”

“What are you doing right now? Where are you going? When are you coming back?”

“I noticed when you loaded the dishwasher you put the spoons and forks in before the pots and pans, you should put the pots and pans in before the spoons and forks.”

Impact: Half the internet is writing posts complaining about you, the other half is writing posts complaining about having to read all the posts complaining about you. Micromanagement saps people of confidence and motivation, it also increases the chance that the bad thing you’re trying to prevent will actually happen. Additionally, you’ll feel paranoid and anxious that something will go disastrously wrong if you’re gone which results in burnout because you’ll always need to be there to keep an eye on things. This is counterproductive for everyone involved.

During this time I notice that there are some enneagram type+wings that are more common in some mbti type: of course, it changes between individuals. But this is what I note:

1w9: INFJ, INFP, ISFJ, ESFJ, ENFJ 1w2: INFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, ESFJ 2w1: ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, INFP 2w3: ESTP, ESFP, ENFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ 3w2: ENTP, ENFJ, ENTJ, ESTP, ISTP, ENFP 3w4: ISFP, INFP, ESFP, ENFP, INTP, ENTP 4w3: ISFP, INFP, ENFP, ESFJ, INFJ 4w5: ESFJ, ENFJ, ISFJ, INFP, ISFP, INFP, ESFP, ENFP 5w4: INTP, ISTP, ESTP, ENTP, INTJ, ISTJ, INFJ 5w6: INFJ, ISTJ, ESTJ, INFP, INTP, ENTP, ISTP 6w5: ENFP, ENTP, INFJ, INTJ, ENTJ, ISTP, ESTP 6w7: ENFP, ESTJ, ISFJ, INFP 7w6: ISFP, INFP, ESFP, ESTP, ISTP, ENFP, ENTP 7w8: ENTJ, ISTP, ESTP, ESFP, ISFP, ENTP 8w7: ISTP, ESTP, INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ, ENTP 8w9: INTP, ENTP, ISTP, ESTP,INTJ, ENTJ 9w8: ISTJ, ISFJ, ISFP, ISTP, INFP, ESTP, ENFP, ESFP 9w1: ISFP, INFP, INFJ, ENFJ, ESFJ, ISFJ

ENTJ: Rode a Segway off a cliff

INTJ: Bathed in liquid uranium

ENTP: Played hide and seek in a graveyard, was buried alive 

INTP: Tortured with a cheese grater 

ENFJ: Umbrella snapped closed over their head, chaos ensued 

INFJ: Impaled by a narwhal 

ENFP: Played hopscotch in a minefield 

INFP: Hugged a cactus for a little too long 

ESTJ: Ran with scissors, didn’t see the stairs or the window

ISTJ: Hit by a flying chainsaw 

ESTP: Drowned in a pool of whipped cream

ISTP: Beard caught in a swing when jumping off 

ESFJ: Locked in a tanning booth turned on high overnight 

ISFJ: Accidentally cooked liquid arsenic into their meal 

ESFP: Drank a lava lamp

INFP

INFJ

ENFP

ENFJ

ISTP

ESTP

ISTJ

ESTJ

ISFP

ESFP

ISFJ

ESFJ

INTP

ENTP

INTJ

ENTJ

To see the types as Rick-gifs click here.

ESFJ

ISFJ

ENFJ

INFJ

ESTJ

ISTJ

ESTP

ISTP

ESFP

ISFP

ENFP

INFP

ENTP

INTP

ENTJ

INTJ

Too see the types as Morty gifs click here.

ESFJ

ISFJ

ENFJ

INFJ

ESTJ

ISTJ

ESTP

ISTP

ESFP

ISFP

ENFP

INFP

ENTP

INTP

ENTJ

INTJ

(Gif: James Norrington, PotC. ESTJ.)

It’s not easy in introverts, but the extroverts on the other hand…

Te-dom: direct, forward, authoritative, blunt and objectively logical. Tends to correct other people’s facts / logical fallacies without even thinking about it. (TeNi: inclined to talk about future outcomes and patterns; TeSi: more laid back and interested in present concerns and ‘how the world works’)

Fe-dom: warm, personable, and emotionally demonstrative; very forthcoming in their opinions, sometimes with a slight inference that you better agree. (FeNi: intense and focused on future patterns, inclined to immediately read behind-the-scenes or assert their intuitive conclusions as facts; FeSi: concerned with everyone’s present needs and sensory stability)

Se-dom: eager to experience everything life has to offer, inclined to follow new and interesting pursuits, change professions, jobs, etc; willing to ‘get physical’ and push people out of their comfort zones, emphasis on sensory pursuits (art, sports, fashion, global events, hobbies, experiences). (SeTi: detached, logical, but external warmth through Fe, a general desire to get along / willing to sacrifice to keep the peace; SeFi: more intense, driven to accomplish things, can express strongly disapproving Fi judgments from time to time.)

Ne-dom: excited to discuss abstract concepts (theories, psychology, religion, philosophy, etc) at length; inclined to rapid changes in mind / approaches; often argues both perspectives at once, as if they can see three different conflicting arguments at the same time; frequently reads too much into things / has strong instincts about people, but not always certain of the outcome so they seek “proof” to back up their suspicions. May have an opinion 100% different from the last time you spoke to them. Five hours ago. (NeTi: detached, logical, more interested in systems and concepts than people; NeFi: people-and-relationship centric, driven to accomplish things, can express strongly disapproving Fi-judgments from time to time)

And the introverts, which will take way longer, since they tend to ‘hide’ their introverted dominant function:

Ti-dom: detached, logic, with a desire to categorize or systematize everything, often emotionally laid back / unconcerned with causing offense in favor of digging into the truth. (TiSe: physically active and engaged, inclined to favor ONE specific point of view, developed over time; TiNe: incredibly abstract, vague, generalizing, curious about abstract concepts / theories.)

Fi-dom: sensitive and easily hurt, but private in their feelings; makes decisions based on personal values / ethics / how it impacts other people / animals. Finds it difficult to verbalize intense emotions, often finds it easier to ‘write them down’; not inclined to offer immediate emotional judgments on important things. (FiSe: physically active and engaged, inclined to have a singular focus and/or reach firm conclusions; FiNe: abstract, interested in intangible things / psychology / concepts / theories / etc, inclined to change their minds a lot and often second-guess themselves)

Si-dom: comfortable with routine, takes things at face value / tends to self-reference a lot (personal experience), can be sentimental or have an archetype way of looking at reality; not always comfortable with too much change, very good at catering to their own internal sensory needs / comforts, eager to involve their hands, somewhat frustrated by too-abstract things. (SiTe: focused, often good with practical / business ventures, detail-oriented; retains lots of facts, logical and direct in their assessments; SiFe: emotional, easily hurt, makes decisions on how it impacts people / animals, able to share their feelings in easily understood ways once they are ready)

Ni-dom: continually reads behind what is there / interested in high abstracting / theories / futuristic patterns, somewhat detached from sensory reality / poor at interacting with the sensory environment; inclined toward theories, asserting hidden truths as if they ‘know’; often disinterested in changing their mind after they have pondered on it and reached a conclusion. (NiTe: detached, logical, wants to get things ‘done’; sees things in terms of business / rationality; good at reciting logical things or giving facts to back up their arguments; NiFe: emotional and articulate in sharing their emotions, inclined to forming moral and ethical judgments, and trying to ‘figure out’ people’s motives)

…for you - ISTJ, ISFJ, ESFJ, INFP

…for me - INTJ, ISFP, INTP, ENTJ

…for us - INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP, ESTJ