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@istaricelebelasse
Here is your card for Bad Things Happen Bingo. Happy writing!
Iâm doing Bad Things Happen Bingo! Feel free to send me in a prompt from this card!

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Iâve been tagged by @niphredinell and @jeyne-stark to share some of my WIP so here, have a snippet of two -
The first is from a later On the Holy Mountain (Omega Maglor) fic:
âDonât be ridiculous.â Finrod huffed a noise that was half sob, half laughter into his hair. âThere was a dragon.â
âYou would have held against it.â
Finrod pulled back and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Orodrethâs ear. âDarling, I fell to a werewolf. Those are much smaller than dragons.â
And from the next instalment of my Werewolf Starks AU:
Theon: please let mini know her favourite uncle is on his way
Jon: excuse??
Rickon: you have never been so wrong
Bran: youâll be favourite uncle when the wall melts
Theon: This Is Rude.
Theon: I am Offended
Theon: Attacked
Theon: Hurt
Robb: good
Robb: you deserve it for trying to nickname my baby
Tagging anyone who wants to share!
Finarfin stands outside the Halls of Mandos, waiting with all the patience he can bear. His foot taps nervously, he can feel his hand start to clench around the (meticulously researched and written) scrolls that he carries.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out.
It could not be much longer.
The doors creak open. They suck away all the warmth of the sun, releasing a gust of wind as cold as a corpse.
He does not flinch. Has never flinched from these doors. He has never had cause to.
Slowly a figure emerges, clad in grey their dark hair loose and unadorned. It is strange how small they appear. Finarfin has always recalled them to be larger than life.
They step forwards into the sunlight. Finarfin gives them a moment to bask in the faint warmth before he speaks.
âBrother.â
Fingolfin startles. His eyes lock onto Finarfinâs with a sort of desperation. âBrother.â
âI have a gift for you.â Finarfin reaches up and, before Fingolfin can react, takes the crown and slams it down upon his brotherâs head.
Fingolfinâs fingers reach up to touch the crown, slowly dawning comprehension
âThere is precedent.â Finarfin says swiftly. âMaedhros gave up the crown in favour of the elder son of FinwĂŤâs House, and all of us in Tirion have agreed that it is the fairest way to proceed.â He waves the scrolls in the air, as though they were a sword cutting through any arguments his brother might muster.
âBut I do not want it.â Fingolfin sounds so very lost.
âWell.â Finarfin says, utterly reasonable in his tone. âPerhaps you should have thought of that before charging off to Beleriand in search of a crown.â
Caranthir, in the spirit of siblings everywhere, devoting his stitching to messing with his brothers.
More than half of Thargelionâs tapestries are of scenes of the various embarrassing shenanigans his brothers (and assorted cousins) have got up to. Most noteable is the large hanging in the dining hall depicting the time Curufin blew himself and Celegorm up in the forge. Second place goes to the one in the entrance hall of Maglor stuck up a tree.
His brothers, naturally, hate this with a passion and complain bitterly about it whenever they visit his halls.
Of course, those complaints pale in comparison to the ones they share after visiting Himring. Maedhros never turns away a gift, especially not when they help to warm his keep. No wall in Himring is left without an embarrassing moment forever immortalised upon it.
little lies
It is a family joke that Maitimo was the easiest birth of the seven. None of FĂŤanĂĄro's children question this, not even Maitimo himself. After all, he is steady and patient, the best little-brother wrangler and the favourite small-child babysitter. Of course it would be him, out of all of them, who gave their mother the least amount of trouble even in the womb.Â
It is also a lie.Â
Most do not remember Nerdanelâs pregnancy, for she spent the bulk of it at Mahtanâs house, far away from the eyes and speculation of Tirionâs court. Safely hidden among her family, FĂŤanĂĄro watched with growing horror as things began to go wrong. The babyâs spirit seemed to share FĂŤanĂĄroâs fire, burning white-hot inside of Nerdanel. For months she lay in bed, feverish, delirious.Â
FĂŤanĂĄro refused to leave her side, trying to coax drops of water between her dry, cracked lips. âPlease, love,â he begged. âJust a little more, only one more sip. Please.â
Nerdanel placed his hand on her stomach. âDo you feel him, FĂŤanĂĄro? He is so strong already. Too strong for someone like me.â
âNo, no, you must not speak that way. He will need you. I need you.â He kissed her forehead. Be kind to your mother, little one, he thought, placing a hand on her stomach. He could feel the baby burning like a coal within her. Gentle your flame! Please. I do not want you to be born with my grief. I do not know if I have the strength of my own father to carry on if my wife dies.Â
Please, please, do not die.Â
It was a close thing, a night of screaming and blood and too much pain, but in the end Nerdanel survived the birth of their child. She smiled up at FĂŤanĂĄro, soaked in sweat, glowing with pride. âLook at him, FĂŤanĂĄro,â she said, her eyes half-closed. âLook at our child. Our perfect Maitimo.â
âHe is the most wonderful child in the world,â said FĂŤanĂĄro, his heart breaking open with love. That love sat side-by-side with terror, for Nerdanel remained weak and could not leave her bed for a whole year. But soon, she recovered, returning to her craft and chasing their little one around the hallways of their house.
FĂŤanĂĄro would have been happy with just the one. To ask for more felt like asking for trouble, and FĂŤanĂĄro did not want to risk Nerdanelâs life. Not a second time. But Nerdanel wanted more children.Â
âYou promised me at least four,â she reminded FĂŤanĂĄro, half-teasing and half-serious. âAnd our Maitimo needs a sibling or three to get into trouble with. Look at how perfect our little one is! How can you not want more?â
âI do want more children,â said FĂŤanĂĄro. âOf course I do. But I do not want to lose you.â
âYou wonât,â promised Nerdanel, stronger than iron.
And so MakalaurĂŤ was soon born, screaming loud enough to shake the windowpanes, and then Tyelkormo, always full of energy, and then Carnister and CurufinwĂŤ and the twins. Each birth sent FĂŤanĂĄro into a spiral of worry; each one ending in relief and joy.Â
None of them as terrifying or hard as Maitimoâs had been.
No one knew the truth and FĂŤanĂĄro, who did not want his first-born to grow up under the same shadows as he had, was more than happy to spread the lie. FinwĂŤ and Nerdanel and Mahtan agreed. Let Maitimo never know how close he came to killing his mother. Let him live free of such a stain.
Let the white-fire of his soul burn bright and remain ignorant of the truth.

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The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
in count binface we finally have a political candidate to discuss that the americans on the internet can't mistake for being one of theirs
count binface: because farage is rubbish
I got an email from an anti racism group I supported with the headline 'it's time to bin Reform' and I think that's the one
There's nothing Fingon wouldn't at least try to eat. Including Glaurung.
@astral-aromance whoops my hand slipped
Sorry that I willed this into existence guys... hhhgjjhgnhfjkkjhgv
Tolkien: Every writer in the fandom: So obviously Maedhros' second-in-command is a no-nonsense woman who makes sure he stays grounded and also oversees his army and is possibly more competent than him, leaving him all the room to do important things like fighting and politics and kissing Fingon I mean dealing with his demons. Also she's a lesbian

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Fingolfin looks like Feanor. He knows this. Has always known this.
(He wonders, absently, whether he should be using that past tense, now that his brother is gone.)
He looks (looked?) like his brother. It was one reason that Feanor hated him so much more than Finarfin.
Still, it should not sting his heart so much. Should not hurt as much as it does, when the eldest of his nephews wakes on his sickbed and calls him âAtyaâ.
Iâm not sure if this will be helpful to anyone, but you literally do not have to be a good writer to write and post fan fiction. Yes you will naturally get better at writing and finding your voice the more you do it but you do not have to be or become a professional level writer to enjoy writing and sharing fics. Itâs common to hear people praise fic writers by saying their work is better than published books, and while I think this comes from a good place, thatâs not the norm or expectation. There is also a sentiment that fic writing is âgood practiceâ for becoming a better writer or doing something else later, but if fic is the only creative writing you ever do that is literally okay. Your technical skill does not mean you cannot have fun and build community with your writing, or that other people cannot love and find meaning in your work.
romcom where turgon accidentally builds gondolin on top of nargothrond and increasing ridiculous sequences of events stop both cities from noticing
I don't want to go all 'some of you have incredibly biased opinions of FĂŤanor based on fanon and fail to acknowledge the canon complexities of such a character' but it really be hard to not do that sometimes
@antlered-vixen don't leave this in the tags. i read the book a long time ago and needed the reminders tbh
Thanks for picking up my tags! Since we're at the Discourse Store, let me add, Shib clarifies explicitly that a crucial factor to the burning of the ships was that Fingolfin declared himself "Finwe-Nolofinwe". Since in Noldorin culture Finwe=King, this was a declaration of intent of usurpation (and was indeed shortly followed by Fingolfin declaring kingship of the Noldor - before he arrived in Beleriand.) Now I am also a Fingolfin stan. I believe he was ambitious but well-intentioned and genuinely believed wrestling the Noldor out of Feanor's influence was the best for his people. Which is... Correct. Yet, if I was terrified of replacement/usurpation and had been stoked in that direction further by Satan and someone openly declared their intent to usurp me and had a larger army than mine, and was due to arrive at my flank, I too wouldn't want them there. Things can be bad without being incomprehensibly unhinged and comically evil. They can have a rationale and reasons without it being enough moral justification. Permitting personhood is not apologia.
@antlered-vixen Lee you left gold in the tags again
self insert? no. this is an elf insert. stuck an elf in where there shouldn't be one
How dare you try to hide this in the tags

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that theory that the Arkenstone is a SilmarilâŚitâs doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure thatâŚyou wouldnât even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.
and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, âThorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think theyâre being nuts, so IâŚkind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.â And (itâs been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanorâs gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.
Gandalf: *spittake*
Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwoodâs eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingolâs court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. weâre good. weâre good for now*
Gandalf: Thatâs, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?
Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW
Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled âthisfuckingrockagain.jpgâ]
Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves:Â no.
Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while:Â Absolutely Fucking Not.
Gandalf:Â Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-
Galadriel:Â Youâve got to be kidding me.
Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?
Gandalf:Â No, no.
Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.
Elrond: *wordless sputtering*
Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]
Galadriel:Â Oh yes, Belladonnaâs boy, you were telling me about him last winter.Â
Galadriel:Â Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?
Elrond: No fucking shit.
Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know itâs nearly mating season. but we have a situation again
Gandalf:Â [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]
Gandalf:Â [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]
Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]
I mean, given that Tolkien retconned âThe Hobbitâ so Bilboâs little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kidâs book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??
You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didnât immediately raise the alarm about Bilboâs ring out of an abundance of caution. I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril and the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angelâs serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinG â pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactâ. And then. AND THEN! One day heâs like, âhey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journeyâ. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screaming ânottheoneringnottheoneringnottheoneringâ while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possibly be the one- âItâs this plain gold ring thatâs very precious to me and turns me invisible!â
AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CANâT REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURONâS RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN
@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P
Iâve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D
Next youâll be telling me Sting is Gurthang
Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgothâs crown
âAverage Hobbit finds at least one world war inspiring artifact when on a journeyâ statistic inaccurate. The Spiders Took Family, who find a world war inspiring artifact every five feet they step outside the Shire, were outliers and should not have been counted.
Bilbo: Iâm not a burglar I wouldnât even know how to be!
Also Bilbo: *trips and grabs seven legendary artifacts on the way down*