“If you don’t want to sink, you better figure out how to swim.”
— Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle
I want to figure out how to swim im sinking and im scared
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@ispeakmyhrart
“If you don’t want to sink, you better figure out how to swim.”
— Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle
I want to figure out how to swim im sinking and im scared

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
”اے اللہ! میں تیری پناہ میں آتا ہوں اعتماد کے ٹھیس لگنے سے اور ظاہری محبتوں سے دھوکا کھا جانے سے۔“
"O Allah! I take refuge in you from the betrayal of trust and from being deceived by outward affections.”
(Ibn Habira al-Fazari||al-Sadaqa wa al-Sadiq llal-Tawhidi: 125)
How accurate🥺💔
first it hurts, then it changes you
no one talks about how hard it is when your mood is constantly switching between "its okay, i don't care. i'm fine" and "i don't know how much more i can take"
💯 one day you feel that there is no place left in my heart for those who have destroyed me and i damn care about them and next day when their actions hurt you again your heart sinks again you cry again how much helpless you feel that why still i care for them why… you make them center of your world and they destroyed your world. People destroy you specially when you spent your whole life for them… how can be someone so happy and satisfied doing so much bad to the person who gives you so much love, care loyalty and sincerity.
For survival in this world you need to be cruel. There is no place for kind hearted and loyal people.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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it's a different kind of pain when you don't even cry anymore. you just take a deep breath and accept it
“Aur phir aik waqt aisa bhi aata hai jub apko lagta hai ke aap akele hi theek hain koi zidd nahi rehti koi khwahish nahi rehti kisi ka saath nahi chahiye hota phir hum sab naseeb par chorh kar jeene lagte hain.” — Bano Qudsia
Us toty ghar ki tasweer dekh…Os ma ab tu bi nahi ma bi nahi…Tu kitny dard mily hon gy mujhy teri wajah sy…Tu aay jis jagah pe chaly jaen hum os jaga se
Tawakal and saber…. Answer of my all questions and grief!
Betrayal that was un expected, grief that is uninvited, contented future that has been lost, passing everyday is struggle, when breakdown and tears become constant companions and there is no escape from the situation. People say waqt guzar jata hy acha ho ya bura mager bury waqt ka aik aik minute kaatna bi aik jung hy.
The year when hazarat Muhammad lost all his dear people is called عام الحزن
My sister @comforttobeunknown said amara this is عام الحزن for us💔 i pray this too shall pass.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
آپکے حالات ہمیشہ آپکے اختیار میں نہی ہوتے جو لوگ اور حالات آپکے لئے دکھ اور رنج کا بعث بن رہے ہوتے ہیں آپ انھیں بدلنے سے قاصر ہوتے ہو۔
حال ہی میں جب کسی سے اس بارے میں بات ہوئی تو اُنھوں نے بہت اچھی مثال دی کہ ایک بار اشفاق احمد صاحب نے اپنے شاگردوں سے پوچھا کہ اگرآپ دیکھتے ہو کے کچھ بکریاں ہیں اور ایک کُتا اُن پہ بھونک رہا ہے اور حملہ کرنا چاہتا ہے آپ کیا کرو گے۔ کسی نے کہا کہ میں کتے کا منہ پکڑ لوں گا تو کسی نے کہا میں اُسے پتھر ماروں گا۔ اشفاق ڈاحب نے کہا یہ سب کرنے سے آپ کتے کو اپنے ارادے سے نہی روک پاؤ گے تو لوگوں نے کہا پھر ہمیں کیا کرنا چاہیے آپ نے کہا آپ کو کتے کے مالک کو بلانا پڑے گا جس کی وہ بت مانتا ہے صرف وہی اُس کو روک سکتا ہے۔
تو بس اپنی بے بسی کہ رونے اس کہ آگے کیا رونے جو بے بسی کی وجہ ہےجسے آپ رو کہ، یا غصے سے نہی روک سکتے۔ آپ کو اس شخص سے کوئی اُمید نہی رکھنی اس کی منت نہی کرنی مگ اُس کے مالک کو بلانا ہے جو عرشِعظیم کا مالک ہے اُس سے مدد مانگنی ہے اُس سے امید رکھنی ہے۔
پس میں نے اپنا معاملہ اللہ کے سپرد کیا ۔
حسبي الله لا إله إلا هو عليه توكلت وهو رب العرش العظيم
I may not be too much optimistic person but I do have a faith that today may not have been perfect but is still a good day, and a faith that after prolonged grief, sadness, and lump of tears in throat , I can still burst into laughter over something very small, may be not now, not tomorrow But someday!
19-April-2024
Going through days which i never expected will came to my life. Heart is heavy from the betrayal of past, present is sad and future look hopeless. Everything single day is so hard to pass.
Today i manifest that next year on this day i will be calm, healed and happy. This time shall pass. Allah will make me go through this aazmaish so smoothly and with saber, like it never happens.. In Sha Allah. Allah will ease me toward ease. Dua that i’m scared to ask that it will keep me in hope that looks impossible will be fulfilled by the grace of Allah. I’m in state where i don’t know what to ask or pray. But Allah guide my heart what is meant for me, help me and make best decision for me and make my heart full and happy with that. In any circumstance make my heart fulfilled with your love and free my heart from فکر of those who didn’t value me and my love.
میرا اللٰہ مجھ سے بےزار نہی ہوا اور نہ ہی مجھ سے ناراض ہے۔ میرا اللٰہ میرے گلے سنتا ہے اور مجھ سے تنگ نہی ہوتا-تب تک مجھے صبر کرنا ہے۔ امید رکھنی ہے لوگوں سے نہی اللٰہ سے۔ میرا اللٰہ مجھے اس آزمائش سے نکالے گا۔ اور میرے لئے آسانی کرے گا۔ اگلا سال کا اپریل آج سے بہت بہتر ہوگا۔ میرا الٰلہ مجھے ایسے عطا کرے گا کہ میں خوش ہو جاؤں گی۔
آمین۔ انشااللٰہ۔
When i was younger, i found countless reasons to be unhappy. And here is how: i created unhappiness by dwelling on every single thing i didn’t like. This meant dwelling on the parts of my life that weren’t perfect. I meant dwelling on things that made me anxious and disappointed. It meant on focusing on aspects of people around me that let me down, and dwelling on moments that hurt me and not letting go. It meant holding onto past. But not the good stuff . Only the pain. It meant holding onto every time i felt let down or betrayed or hurt. I was very selective in my focus. I never thought about the things that were going well, because i had to focus my attention fully on fixing everything that wasn’t. I didn’t do this because i was trying to be negative. I did this for very different reason. I did this for a reason that motivate many of us and also keep many of us anxious and miserable: i was obsessed with fixing things.
بولتے بولتے اُس کا سانس پھولنے لگا۔ آنکھیں بھیگنے لگیں۔ شاید وہ ماہر جیسی بے حس نہی ہو سکتی تھی۔(ابھی نہی رونا مالا ابھی خود کو بے حس رکھنا ہے۔ گھر جا کے رو لیں گے)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
وہ اس وقت صرف ویڈنگ فنکشن کا سوچ رہی ہے۔ شادی کے بارے میں ساری لڑکیاں صرف فنکشن کا سوچتی ہیں۔ اس ایک دن کے لئے اتنا پیسا اور توانائی خرچ کرتی ہیں۔ حالانکہ شادی تو اگلے دن سے شروع ہوتی ہے۔ جب فلیش لائٹ مانند پڑتی ہے اور میک اپ اترتے ہیں ۔ پھر دن کی روشنی میں اصلی چہرے اور نقلی ہیرے صاف دکھائی دیتے ہیں۔
میں تو اس واسطے چپ ہوں کہ تماشا نہ بنے
تُو سمجھتا ہے مجھے تُجھ سے گلا کچھ بھی نہی