you saved me.

# ISLANDHEARTS ! a private & selective abc's LOST-centric roleplay multimuse scavenged by kourt ( she/they, 27 ) ... heavily prioritizes sayid jarrah , but also features james "sawyer" ford , benjamin linus , & more !

BUT WE DID MEET , AND WE DID SPEAK . AT LEAST ...

NOTE: mature content will be featured on this blog , & will be tagged appropriately ... minors DNI ( 21+ ONLY )

LINKS: promo , memes ...

I LOVED HER .

RULES + MUSE LIST BELOW

five years have passed since the crash. and when they'd received their invitation to the annual oceanic airlines gala, they'd scoffed. all it had taken was one look at each other and the invitation was dropped into their trash. weeks went by... then, they decided that they should do something to mark the occasion. if not for them, for those that were left behind. the oceanic seven themselves had dwindled in number. whether or not oceanic cared to notice, would be a whole different ordeal.

sun hadn't made it back from their second trip to the island, and they'd assumed the worse when they never heard from jack again. they'd managed to bring back a handful of survivors from the initial crash, including sawyer and claire. they grieved, and they all grieved in different ways. but it became easier with time to believe that all of it was truly over, and they could finally move on with their lives.

sayid and shannon were, as always, inseparable-- eloped shortly after their return to america. nearly a year into their marriage, they slowly but surely found their routine in their penthouse apartment in new york city. certainly large enough to hold a small, private gathering where they could be themselves without judgment. without prying eyes. five years following the crash, they invited those who were left-- those who survived, into their home for the anniversary.

'come dance with me.'

shannon whispers into sayid's ear, tearing his eyes away from their chou-chou, their little white dog who yips and skips between legs throughout the apartment-- clearly thrilled by the company, and the doting pets that he receives. a gentle smile appears on sayid's lips, placing his drink down on the kitchen counter before he encourages her with a nod of his head, and she leads them into the living room, where the music plays the loudest.

his hands tighten around his rifle, after only a split second of hesitation. it's an old, familiar feeling that quietly washes over him. to fall into line. to tune out the larger world and, instead, focus on his immediate surroundings. to let someone else take charge.

there isn't any use in pretending that he isn't-- she'd been the one to approach him, after all. she'd said that he looked sad and that's what attracted her to him. they not so subtly dance around the topic of temptation, and sayid can't resist. he can't help how his eyes linger on how the stranger's tongue darts out to swipe the very expensive scotch from her lips. his gaze flickers to the slender slope of her exposed neck, how her curls are brushed over her shoulder when her head turns towards him. that's when sayid's eyes finally meet hers, heavy-lidded from the day that he's had and the multiple glasses of scotch that have settled in his system.

everything burns. but in a way that's almost familiar to sayid. spending his nights at bars, nursing in his hands the most expensive alcohol he can get his hands on and relishing how it burns down his throat, warmth settling deep in his gut. he'd rather feel something than nothing at all. wake up tangled up in someone else's sheets rather than wake up alone.

knees digging into the cot on either side of him, kate straddles him, sayid's fingers curling into her slightly damp hair and gently pulling her hair towards the back of her head to keep it out of her face. his other hand rests on her hip, thumb brushing against the jutting of bone before his thumb traces along the waistband of her underwear. what little space separates them makes it a little awkward to adjust, but he's nothing if not determined-- his fingers eventually slipping underneath the waistband, tentatively exploring.

he attempts a smile, despite how his lower lip trembles at the statement. sayid furiously blinks away the familiar sting of tears gathering in his eyes, praying his blurred vision refocuses on shannon and shannon alone... eyes traveling from the specific point where his thumb meets her cheeks, to her lips, then her eyes-- her eyes are so full of life. so unlike the image of her he remembers, the image that haunted him since he left the island. but she's here; she's real. real enough to hold, and warm beneath his touch.

he hadn't saved her. there's nothing more that he'd wanted than to save her, but what he needed to do to make that happen... it was shannon who kept him from becoming the worst version of himself. it's because of shannon that he's here, wherever they are, rather than suffering through whatever punishment he thought he deserved.