a study in :  nature versus man,  female  abomination,  manmade  catastrophe,  mother  earth  as  the  villain,  reshaping  of  motherhood,  disillusionment,  alienation  of  the  familiar,  the  bed-time  horrors,  the  dose  between  the  poison  and  the  cure, cosmic indifference, cain & abel.

(i) rules.  (ii) kane. (iii) m&e. (iv) prompts. (v) credits.

𑄹 ˙ blog   roll:  @zeitkeist.

𑄹 ˙ affiliated   with: feminurge, ategod, godwrit.

☣︎ the scent of blood pulses at the bridge of her nose like a year old headache and she wonders if things could have gone any different. if she had heard the awfully familiar click of the gun sliding into place, if she's noticed the shadow that lingered behind her like a rotten summer breeze, thick and humid in the air, too dense to go unnoticed but her instincts have failed her miserably and damien's rough press of fingers to her temple do not help her ease the shame of it at all. the living room that has been curated with the eyes of a detail oriented perfectionist made for such a cozy home the neighbors had no trouble believing in the story they sold on the daily. the wedding pictures she didn't even question nor ever wished to think about framed neatly in the maroon accent wall, the weight of the wedding ring still a nuisiance on the finger of her left hand. if damien minded the matching one he had been obliged to wear, he had not commented on it so far. he did not comment on most things, anyway, if not for the sole purpose of antagonizing her into fantasize about choking him until he ate his words.

𑄹 ˙ KANE & YVONNE.

[ you cannot disown what is yours. flung out, there is always the return, the reckoning, the revenge, perhaps the reconciliation. there is always the return. and the wound will take you there. it is a blood trail. ]

𑄹 ˙ NOTES ON PROSE, UNRELIABLE & SELECTIVE NARRATION.

as i am slowly launching my long awaited child kane and warming my hands on her voice, i want to talk a little about how narration is an extremely important asset in her dynamics and how it becomes a tool to be utilized rather than an omnipotent reliability. the threads, despite taking place in the third person singular/plural perspective that gives the illusion of being told from a realistic point of view, are laced with whatever kane wills them to be. they are somehow sentient of the story that is being told and they will twist and bend it to their liking, so it serves them in the most efficient way possible.

so when the replies that are given do not match word for word by what you have written to me, it is kane's doing. she takes the actions and the words of others and interprets them in ways that may not always be an accurate representation of the character of your muse. apologies in advance, but godmodding to a slight intervention will be expected to show up here and there in the prose, but that does not mean your muse cannot call kane out on it, cannot correct her, or cannot reply in a similar retaliation. in fact, i encourage you to. kane's version of things rarely is the truth, especially if any sorts of emotional involvement is on the table. it is something that makes writing her incredibly interesting but also frustrating to the same degree. they will add things that are their own conclusion to the dynamic. they will leave things out on purpose. they rarely are aware that the person in front of them is an actual human being, and not a social test to master her way out of. this, combined with how twisted kane's perception on people, can aid in the dynamics becoming quite methodical instead of sentimental.

BASICS.

full name,          kane te hira.

meaning of name,         kane; irish origin, warrior. te hira; māori  origin, the light.

character’s nickname,         none.

alias, lily of the valley, hemlock.

zodiac, aries sun, taurus moon, scorpio rising.

birth date,         april 15th.

age, early twenties.

eye color, due to heterochromia, her left eye is sepia and her right eye is fractured pigments of both emerald and sepia.

hair color,          hickory. 

type of hair,          2b.

hairstyle,          bicep length, layered with a makeshift butterfly cut, adorned with curtain bangs. usually left to its own devices. they brush it every now and then if they feel like it.

distinguishing marks,          the mismatched eyes, gravely voice, and quiet arrogance.

scars, multiple, most of them given to herself during botanical experiments, kane has a nasty burn scar at their abdomen, multiple silver scars across her legs, a healed cut at her left cheek.

voice,          gravely, monotonous.

physical disabilities,         she has hashimotos, if that counts.

sexuality, demisexual.

ethnicity: māori.

nationality: holds a dual citizenship in sweden and new zealand.

pronouns: they/she.

gender: cis woman.

faceclaim: courtney eaton.

CHARACTERISTICS.

usual fashion,         could not care less if they'd tried tbh. they'll wear anything they can steal without getting caught, but preference is always for sweatshirts and black jeans.

favorite outfit,          could not care less if they'd tried x2.

jewelry or accessories,          kane has no concept of accessorizing nor do they possess any sort of sentimental item. the most, they will wear a smart watch but you can bet on them to find the ugliest one in the market. also probably stolen.

virtues,          resourceful, diligent, industrious.

vices,          self-indulgent, overambitious, hedonistic.

greatest joy in life,          their niece, yvonne.

greatest fear in life,          their niece, yvonne.

at ease the most when,          she's in a garden, or in her workshop. when she is connected to nature.

ill at ease the most when,          she's back in her childhood home, in picture perfect places. kane does not really care about if she is welcome in places or not honestly, she is sort of a sickness you could not lock out if you'd tried. if they want in anywhere, they will find it, and they will not care how that makes people around them feel.

enraged when,          she has to communicate.

depressed or lonely when,         lonely pretty much all the time, but i don't think kane gets depressed under any circumstance. unfortunate life events tend to piss her off and fuel her more, if anything.

priorities,          she wish she knew, but mostly, surviving.

life philosophy,          multiple, multiple. if you don't call something a problem, then it is not a problem. nihilistic approach in life generally but that goes hand in hand in hedonism as they mainly pursue what brings them the most satisfaction without an overall goal or moral hegemony.

the one wish,           they would never accept this out loud but homecoming. feeling like belonging somewhere, or having a purpose.

soft spot,          yvonne. pretty much her only soft spot.

greatest strength,          her ambition.

greatest vulnerability,          her ambition.

biggest regret,          not killing dina when she had the chance.

biggest accomplishment,          to be seen, methinks.

BACKGROUND.

hometown,          tauhoa, new zealand. linköping, sweden.

type of childhood,          neglected, loveless, burdensome.

pets,          they were never allowed as a child and didn't grow up responsible enough to take care of one.

first memory,          seeing søren for the first time.

most important childhood memory,          søren reading her about the books their dad brought home from work in bedtimes because dina was drunk passed out in the living room. she had a lot of epiphanies as a teen honestly, considering the amount of acid and lsd she was tripping on.

dream job,          chemist.

education,          highschool dropout.

religion,          atheist.

finances,          came from an upper middle class family and experienced all sorts of financial sitatuions especially after she started dealing to the kids in the school. during her late teens she was living like a rockstar but then as she didn't know how to keep her money or budget she burnt through it, and had seen some serious poverty in her early twenties. always fluctuates.

current location,          somewhere illegal most probably.

mother,          birth mother; eden kennedy, dead. step mother; dina bengtsson, estranged.

father,          matiu te hira. estranged.

siblings,          søren bengtsson, older sister by six years.

important relatives,          yvonne bengtsson, niece. tihani te hira, aunt.

form of entertaintment,          gardening.

spending habits,          frivolous.

smoking habits,          will smoke anything she can get her hands on.

drinking habits,          will drink anything she can get her hands on.

does too much of,          calculation.

does too little of,          trust their instincts.

extremely skilled at,          chemistry, botanics, illegal trades, pharmacy.

extremely unskilled at,          socializing, making meaningful connections, anything domestic, anything romantic.

showing emotions,          what are emotions. they've never heard of em.

TIMELINE.

[ 1970. NEW ZEALAND. ] matiu and tihani are born to parents who are working in the national theater at the time. matiu first, then five years later, tihani. they have a happy, loved, and accepted childhood.

[ 1988-1993. NEW ZEALAND. ] when they come of age they both pick universities and majors that suits them the best. tihani is interested in more financial studies while maitu is interested in the climate, slowly on his journey to become an activist for climate crisis. tihani travels to study in france, and matiu goes to sweden for his bachelors, where he meets dina who is an aspiring journalist. due to matiu's back and forth to home and dina's undiagnosed alcoholism, their relationship is rocky, and it ends when matiu moves back to new zealand when he is done with his masters to start his activist career, and that's where he meets eden kennedy.

[ 1993-1995. NEW ZEALAND. ] it does not work very well for matiu and eden. eden dies of cancer at the age of 33, and leaves behind a one year old baby and a devastated partner. by the time matiu is contacted by swedish authorities due to dina's rehab process, kane is almost two years old. he finds out that he has an eight year old daughter with dina back in sweden, named søren. he takes his daughter, kane, and moves back to sweden to help dina, and make a family out of their complicated situation.

[ 1995-2000. SWEDEN. ] it is abusive in different ways. nora keeps relapsing and each time she relapses it takes a toll on the family due to her fickle memory and withdrawal outbursts. she uses søren both as a reason and an excuse, and despises kane for not being hers. matiu melts from day to day, he grows bitter, and resentful to the life he feels trapped in. he does his best not to reflect it to the children, but it could be felt in the way his efforts of caring fell lower and lower, and at some point instead of protecting the girls, he starts pressuring them to be silent and put up with their mother because he is too exhausted to deal with her. he becomes quick tempered, impatient, and unstable. kane and søren suffers mental and physical abuse, mostly at the hand of their mother and their father's neglect.

[ 2000-2005. SWEDEN. ] when kane is twelve years old, søren leaves home, which makes things fall apart even more, because now nora is left with a child she hates even more. during that time, kane is in school and she grows an interest for botanics and uses it as a coping mechanism to spend some time away from home and have something that she feels connected with. the thing is, the bitter and angrier she grows, the darker her gift turns. she learns she can drain life as she can breathe it out, rotting the plants. her bitterness makes their flowers poisonous, and their plants dangerous. as nora grows relentless, kane tests more and more limits, eventually when they are fourteen, they poison nora with the herbs in her pasta, paralyzing her for life. they do not kill her, because they want her to live with herself. her father, at the other hand, is spared only because she wants him to live with his own making.

[ 2005-2010. FRANCE. ] kane's trial does not last very long. the juvie they are sentenced in for a year is nothing but more of an opportunity to learn and to read. she spends that year buried in her readings, quiet, apathetic. when the release is due, instead of returning to her father's care, they demand to go live with their aunt, tihani, who stayed in france after college. tihani is barely surviving in marseille, so kane decides to put her skills into use: she drops out of highschool, and solidifies her very early career as a dealer. she sells all sorts of things. drugs for every need. all sorts of poisons. eventually, she makes enough money to move out and live in her own place, getting involved with the underground black markets.

[ 2010-2015. FRANCE. ] life is good for a while. money flows in, aunt is taken care of, business florishing. right when kane turns 20, søren comes looking for her with a newborn in her hands, miserable and needing help, kane does not turn them away. they are hopeful about restoring a relationship with søren, but all that hope shatters when søren steals a whole bunch of poison vials kane designed for a client and bolts, leaving yvonne behind. there is no hope, søren is hunted and killed in the span of three days and kane never gets to chance to ask why.

[ 2015-NOW. FRANCE. ] now left with baby yvonne to take care of, kane tries her hand at running an underground chem-empire and warped motherhood.

VERSES.

[ main. ] kane's main verse takes place during the last milepoint in her life, after her older sister's death and yvonne's guardianship. you can find them meddling in underground affairs, become one of their clients for reasons that indicate there is something clearly wrong with you, or be a fellow scientist. kane is anti-social by habit and does not form friendships very easily, so please do keep this in mind with interactions. they are funny as hell, both ironically and unironically, and they have good work ethic enough to keep business going.