isamusresolve 2.0

before all this, believe it or not, i was a senzai fan. i have evidence.

TRIGGER WARNING: 2024 LARRY DO NOT LOOK IT'S HORRIBLE IT'S HORRENDOUS!!!!! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

to the people that may possibly know me on tiktok may also know that i too am the no. 2 senzai hater (my uncle tara deserves the 1st spot as he was my influence) which is funny coming from someone who found senzai endearing almost two years ago. (i shall dread the date december 2 for LIFE).

its the irony that strikes me most. the mere change in behavior really shows my place in the fandom then and now, evident in my understanding of the lore and how i processed it at these given times. when looking at it then, i had surface level comprehension. my understanding came at a limit; that limit was the insight i had toward senzai's predicament. i did not see him for who he was, disregarding the accountability he should hold for his own faultiness and only finding acknowledgement in his sorrow and how it is the supposed "justification" to continue acting impulsively, to his own accord.

i had not understood what made him cruel because it was his suffering that diminished every other aspect that made him equally infuriating and interesting. i reduced him to his pity and it's what made me then and many other fans love him. because he was deemed "relatable", he was adored. glorified latently (pun intended).

it takes an attentive eye and open ear to listen and register a character's flaws. with how often the mimic protrays him in a pitiful light, having any real argument against him feels impossible. and it feels even more unachievable when a fandom sucks up to it (i can say this as a victim to that mentality).

i do sympathize with senzai. that i cannot deny. but sympathy does not equate itself to empathy or justification. he is the result of a family that only saw value in achievement and no worth in the mental development of someone as deserving as their son, allowing himself to be a manifestation of the violence and negativity the household maintained, even more after being a witness himself. because of the role he was given, he had only recognized his worth in superiority and so harmed others to gain it after having lost it. it did not matter if it was isamu, he just had to have it. it did not matter if he choked, hurt or belittled him, he just had to feel it. it was how his household displayed authority and so he'd reciprocate this to the most unsuspecting and undeserving of harm with his role, that was meant to serve as guidance for his younger brother. when opportunities opened themselves to seemingly call closure, he accepted. he was so driven by his wants, it even made him consider cult worship— which in itself is already extreme. his desperation allowed wrongdoings to be continued. so long as he did it, it would not be "wrong".

when consequence arrived, he cowered away because superiority never taught him inferiority. after all, the end does not justify the means.

many people wouldn't believe he harmed another, infatuated with the idea that because of his hurt, it eliminates every possible form of evil harborred within him. and when there's someone to blame, like enzukai, they will throw it.

protagsenzai general lore TERRIBLY explained (BUDGET ACTUALLY REACHES A DOWN LOW) / part 2 to antagsamu :

7 years had gone by and even then, senzai still managed to find whatever fault he could pry from isamu— and so it was easy to be mad. the hands that once performed excellence found themselves wrapped around his brother's neck often. had it been wrong? no, not at all. this was his right. isamu took away the one thing that mattered and now that it was gone, he'd do everything in his power to get it back.

7 years of distance and all he knew was the anger exerted with every reprimand, choke and violent action he could extract from his tormented mind. isamu was infuriating, the audacity one must have to feel threatened in his grand position, the position he (senzai) once had. surely, he (isamu) relished in its goodness, just he (senzai) once did. he (senzai) would not let him know peace because in his pain, isamu never offered to hand it. coward. he was his brother, of course he had to give it! had he not known of compassion? had isamu been drained of it the moment that bottle crashed against him?

he'd pay, senzai would think to himself, no matter how accomplished he was to be become.

secluded for 2 years, isamu pursued his job. detective, was it? senzai could care less. that nuisance was away and it was enough. no longer did there have to be a favorite child, no longer would there be a threat to his existence.

march 27, 2022. news had gone by, speaking of a missing detective. senzai, in his glee, took this as a celebratory notice. he was gone. isamu was gone for good. until he'd be found, he would continue live as if he were dead.

the search had gone by for a week. and then another. and another. and in these 3 weeks, it reached the ears of an enraged father, approaching senzai, demanding that he find isamu in the place of those who couldn't. akihito could only rely on this failure son to complete this mission because he'd rather bet his reputation on one that could possibly be dead.

senzai's ego, fragile as it is, reluctantly went that evening to the docks. he didn't want to find isamu, that much was true. but he would have to, to save himself the criticism.

MAMAMAAAAAAA I HATE HOW I WORDED THIS I WISH I COULD'VE EXPLAINED IT BETTER EWEWEWEEWWWWWWWWWWW

basic au plot summary that i bullshitted after leaving school due to period cramps😹 (details + explanations in part 3) :

- isamu travels to aogashima as retreat from his job but surprisingly is informed of the quality he has to free enzukai by the tsushima sisters and makes a deal due to his skepticism in joining the cult. the deal goes as follows: if senzai cares enough to find isamu and suceeds, isamu shall go home and try make amends since senzai is willing to. if it's the latter (wherein senzai does not go looking for him or in general, cares not enough to), then he is to surrender himself and his heart to the cult while being repurposed.

- 3 weeks pass and isamu is still deemed missing, allowing senzai a time of pleasure in his absence. the news eventually reaches akihito, and he, scared of losing his reputation (especially involving isamu's well-off career), demands that senzai look for him, coating it with threats that reluctantly push senzai to search for isamu.

- he encounters what basically occured from b2c1-b2c2, with a difference in ending to b2c2. senzai, after defeating nagisa, notices the crumbling state of the ship. since he was able to breathe underwater previously, he dives and swims away from the ship to find safety.

- in doing so, he passes by a lair and sees a familiar figure. recognizing that it's isamu, he approaches him and asks that they go home. isamu senses insincerity and refuses, as if testing him and the truthfulness his statement holds. this allows senzai to lose his temper, feeling like his authority is being questioned. in turn, isamu begins to snap, realizing that his brother, although having come to get him, did not arrive for the sake of being a brother and came along to fulfill an order instead. since this action is based off the aforementioned latter (senzai lacking in care for his brother), enzukai, who had been quietly and secretly watching from the depths of the lair, interjects and suddenly takes away isamu's heart, rendering him deceased.

- before senzai can process it, a cult member (kyogi), takes him away while choking him, in an attempt to kill him. this is done to ensure that their invasion of tokyo is not inflitrated by him and once he (senzai) seemingly lost breath, he is placed back in yoki town to be disposed of.

- senzai, who hadn't actually passed and rather lost consciousness, wakes up and finds that the best way to try piece things together, is follow the trail of hints or clues the cult unintentionally leaves behind in their travel to tokyo.

- isamu in the meantime, regains a semblance of sentience, in a now dead manifestation, his soul (his corpse is seperate). it no longer is human, and closely follows that of an onryo. because of his change into a yokai and the promise to have membership in the cult, he accompanies them in their pursuit of destruction.

NOW THATS ENOUGH THIS POST PROBABLY IS TOO LONG AND ALSO HAS SO MANY INCONSISTENCIES THAT I PROBABLY HAVE NOT NOTICED WHILE WRITING THIS WHICH I WANNA CLEAR UP IN THE NEXT POST 😭😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔 MAMMAMAAAAA I HATE THIS POST SO MUCH BUT TO BE FAIR, I WORKED ON IT 12-1 AM, THEN HAD MY PROGRESS UNSAVED AND SO HAD TO REWRITE WHILE RUNNING ON 3 HOURS OF SLEEP CUT ME SOME SLACKKKKKKKKKK OH MY GODDDDDD THIS WAS TERRIBLEEEEE I DONY LIKE PROTAGSENZAIIIIJ

ok the bonuses here are protagsenzai stuff (i barely draw him) and a collab post i had w _mdoom (on tiktok) that would now probably make more sense w the given context

collab post as mentioned

i cant find the tag of the user for this design WHOEVER U R I LOVE THIS DESIGN

#scaredtopostthis #ohmygodhessoEDGY

antagsamu was the character that prompted me to make this au. it wasn't from the thought of a villainous protagonist, nor was it from the thought of isamu being associated with the cult in the manner senzai had been (although, the story does follow the direction wherein isamu does become an ally for them).

so what was it that had me making this au?

and i quote,

“ i think if isamu were an antagonist for book 2, I don’t think senzai, [how do I say this], would have his heart taken away. i think isamu would willingly give up his heart to enzukai. ”

that was the message that started it all (so much for spoiling the big plot twist of my book 2 reversed). small remark i had said in a voice message between me and one of my friends, on mindless rambling about isamu's character. it had been an interesting thought, the idea of isamu's heart containing some special quality that allowed it to free enzukai of their seal (it was mentioned by the lore writers somewhere, i just don't have the screenshot anymore).

the more i thought about it later that day, the more the idea sprouted. and when i made a concept design, it had seemed like the seeds of development planted themselves further into an au. it's been a few months (late january was the month of creation for that guy) since and i finally feel open enough to at least share the general au idea.

see, when i say this au is a reversal in roles, i only intend to switch the role of protagonist and antagonist. they still, fundementally, are the same characters at their core and have not swapped traits. it's just some aspects have been amplified to fit the position or the message i want to send. isamu still is isamu, just has been placed in a position where he opposes the protagonist, that being senzai. or has had traits to him that are explored here where the original has failed to. this au also was meant to be a big parody on how badly the lore writers fumbled some writing aspects that i wish were explained. although, i could be turning a blind eye in my writing (just because i wrote it) and ignore a repetition in the mistakes they made while making my own au. hey, self awareness ig

antagsamu general lore explained horribly (budget in explanation gets lower w every new paragraph) :

the story of book 2 stays the same for the most part. senzai is still whacked by the bottle, abused and distances himself from his family. isamu takes the role of "favorite child" and follows the whim of his father, obeying commands as a form of safety for his wellbeing and the possible consequence that is tied to disobedience.

with having talked about senzai's violent behavior (in a now deleted post), this affects isamu in a negative manner, coupled with the pestering wants of his father to be accomplished, now that the achiever, senzai, has gone away and he (isamu), as back up, has to fulfill the gap that is left behind. isamu was neglected. he never had a proper grasp on independence, self-sufficiency and genuine care from either of his remaining family members, making it difficult to adjust in an unfamiliar role where superiority feels like a new set of shackles, binding him to new expectations, placing his unimpressive self upon a pedestal where exemplary performance is anticipated.

the years of neglect may have been invisible to the eyes around him, but it still took a toll. the constant threat of harm being imposed upon him physically or mentally, whether it be from his brother or his father, made him a fearful thing. so silence was his only way out, assuring protection where speech was punished. 7 years flew by and for the 2 recent years, he had grown to be a detective.

a dull one at that.

pain has to come out, one way or another. and so it did, through drinking often, a loss in appetite or just the general inability to even provide for himself, nights spent walking back home drowsily, days where lifting his limbs felt impossible, where absence in the office had grown in number more than his presence. what an unimpressive person and an unimpressive life.

nearly giving up, he impulsively makes a decision: that he travel to a secluded island in the south and hope he'd find temporary reprieve from the weight sitting upon his chest.

arrival wasn't as smooth as anticipated. a creature knocked over his ship and brought him to a minka. danger had made itself known when a lady dressed in red chased after him, only to register an abnormality within him. the woman, conversing with a mouth behind her head, came upon a consensus: that he follow her. suspicious, the detective asked for reason and they in response told him that he was "important ". reluctant, he allows himself to be led to a lair in which an oni resided. the red dressed woman, who he assumed was named rin, explained what she found odd in him to the figure chained. she sensed something from his chest, that no other being that had come across the island had before. she explained that it could possibly be the key to setting them free.

isamu didn't take long to register the cult-like behavior of this woman, alongside other yokai worshipping the oni chained above. the oni, named enzukai, clarified what the woman meant to the detective, stating that something be needed to free themselves of these chains. it so happened he had it, and it was his very heart. isamu found the implication of the statement tempting. if he had his heart taken away, he would no longer have to live with what others expected from him. if he had just lost his life, maybe death would be kinder than life ever was to him.

but as much as he desired it, he also was skeptical. so, with his wit, he proposes a bargain, one with much intention:

‘‘ if senzai proves to be the brother he claims he is, then I shall join. and when I do, you can use my heart to free yourself of the seal. that way, i’ll become of service to you. ’’

his request is absurd at first glance, a planned suicide wrapped under dedication for a cult. he asks for death to befall him, but not without reason. he would complete obligations, obligations he deemed necessary and beneficial.

haha this is part 1 wait for part 2 (which'll come never ok im joking IT'LL COME!!!!! SOON ENOUGH!!!!!! part 2 is protagsenzai's perspective, which will serve as continuation… or maybe i might post antagyasu WHATEVER WHATEVER WHATEVER). oh my god why is he so depressed😭😭😭 ANYWAYS thanks for reading, now have bonus artworks of the guy (which were all posted on my tiktok, except the last one, that was a seperate post here on tumblr):

and even more bonuses, the first proper concept work of his design (made in school months back WHAHAHAHHAHAH):

TUMBLR LET ME POST PROTAGSENZAI IN THE BACKROOMS PLS old ass drawing that hasnt even been rendered😹😹😹

u can add songs in tumblr? thats a thing?

actually fuck it, we ball 🥺🥺🥺🥺

time to talk abt one of my aus: reverse role au / antag!isamu, protag!senzai, antag!yasu, protag!daku (antagshion will be made or further conceptualized when more of b3 releases or when the chapters have concrete information to improve my ideas for her)

the concept for this au is a reversal in the roles of protagonist and antagonist. not necessarily the main antagonists (like the beasts) but someone related to the main character that happens to be an antagonist. (eg: senzai being a cult member and threatening isamu's life throughout book 2, daku being a pawn of kintoru and mindlessly chasing after yasu to harm him)

the protagonists in the meanwhile affiliate themselves with the beasts and so become antagonists in turn, going against the supposed protagonists' goals, whose role they took.

DISCLAIMER: i am too lazy to rephrase this so lemme js copy and paste a thing i wrote in regards to this au (specifically b2 reversed):

" Villains and antagonists, heroes and protagonists. I’m pretty sure we’ve heard these words thrown around for being “synonymous”. For their similarity. Protagonists being good hearted, antagonists wicked and cruel; no big deal right?

But it was a big deal. To me at least. You see, we all entertain the thought of heroic protagonists and their vile counterparts, the antagonists. But I fear that’s where it goes wrong: believing that a protagonist is made up solely for heroism and an antagonist built from evil. The definition of a protagonist is someone who takes the lead in a story. The antagonist opposes the protagonist’s ideals. Didn’t have to do with them being heroes nor villains. Nothing in these given descriptions correlate themselves to the idea that one character should be good, the other horrible. It’s just the perspective in which the story takes place.

Isamu and Senzai aren't really written to be 100% good or 100% bad. They just are the results of the environment they were raised in, abusive and violent. They oppose another’s convictions because their lives had set them up in opposition. But that doesn’t shove them into clichés. Isamu isn’t meant to be a villain, Senzai isn’t meant to be a hero and vice versa.

They simply are who they are. And shall remain that way. "

so if u guys expect to see a good-natured senzai (no mention of daku since he's js…there, unfortunately, I HAVE WRITTEN HIM, HE JS ISN'T THAT BAD ORIGINALLY SINCE HE'S UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF A GREATER POWER UNLIKE SENZAI WHO HAD COMPLETE AWARENESS IN CHOICE AND STILL DECIDED TO CHOOSE THE LATTER FROM SHEER HATRED) full on evil isamu and yasu, u are sorely mistaken 😹 tho evil isamu and yasu would be cool… wonder if there is an au that exists where they are VILLAINS not antagonists…

book 1 reversed / antagyasu and protagdaku (daku since keiko already is twt protag) is in the works but has a solid idea formed, despite my boredom w book 1. i just have to rewrite basically the whole setting of b1 to make it work. book 2 reversed is already very developped but still lacking in some aspects (that being a fully written b2c4 since its js full of mish-mashed ideas). antagshion has a concept but won't be the official idea until there is more evidence that supports it.

okay thats it, ask me any questions, i can post abt the lore some time soon. oh and im writing this in school

BONUS: VERY early antagsamu designs

it took me this long to realize isamu is settled in meido (?????? not too sure someone fact check me). and if that's really where he is put, then that sucks. prolly does more than jigoku. okay maybe that's a stretch but i have my reasons.

see meido is the japanese equivalent to purgatory or the underworld. it is the area in which souls are appointed for judgement, whether they be for jigoku or tengoku. those who have done good are sorted in tengoku and those who've done evil are placed within jigoku. there is no issue with meido, i don't think it particularly is a terrible place. well, besides its dark, cold, noisy and windy atmosphere, it's far more tame to that of jigoku.

now, isamu being in meido tells me a couple of things. one of those many things is the aftermath of his deal with shinigami. because isamu struck a deal with the death god (and in addition, the previous ruler of hell) that most likely limits his chances and maybe even completely blocked off the possibility of reaching tengoku. but his bravery has put him in a position where even he is not deserving of jigoku either. so where does he go? meido.

and that's where my issue starts. meido is not a resting place. it is not settlement. it is trial, it is judgement for all souls who tread its weary land. it's an unsightly court where souls earn their tickets to either tengoku or jigoku. isamu being placed in meido would probably indicate to him that he is to be sorted into either of these afterlives. but he'll keep waiting on something that is never to happen. the land is restless as is and isamu would prove to be even more restless in this eternal waiting.

if he were put in jigoku, at least he is guaranteed some ending, some afterlife. he already has encountered and might find familiarity in its otherwise dreadful self. in tengoku and jigoku, you are settled because there are enough traits to prove you're deserving of ever being placed there. but meido? meido is the ground where that is decided.

even worse, isamu would see other souls have that decision made for them. that they go by and he does not. despite it all, he is cursed to stay waiting. to continue to fall behind just as he did when he was alive.

for shits and giggles this is like being edged but make it the afterlife. u waiting for dat kaboom kablow but it's not gonna happen 😹😹😹 JOKES ASIDE it like genuinely sucks. and if i assume isamu does get to be sorted, then it's prolly jigoku because shinigami claims ownership over him. which also sucks but is better to think abt in context (??? sorta???? no not really?????) since there are familiar faces like keneo. also because like i said, he has experienced being placed there and might have some level of awareness.

look ik the isamu statue is fanservice slop but look, it's still food. gotta swallow dat bitter pill and pray it suffices