clandestine @irrelevantbarbie - Tumblr Blog

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* melody -> 19 -> whore in theory *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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logged into discord for the first time in forever to see that my ex best friend that i haven’t talked to in 2 years sent me a message like 3 months ago. wtf. 😃😃

#i am…..i’m…….#i don’t know how to feel #this is just so crazy i never expected to talk to them again

literally feel like i’m losing all personal time to school and work….. like pls tell me why i can’t do anything when i have time off without feeling guilty for not working on my class 😐😐

#plus i have to be done with it by february!!! and yes i know i could ask for an extension #but doing that on my first fucking class would be so embarrassing #i wanna write so bad but my computer is in the repair shop cries sobs screams #but even if it wasn’t i still probably wouldn’t be able to write anything bc not working on college stuff stresses me out now i hate it here

literally about to die from one class how tf am i supposed to do 4 years worth of them 🥹🥹

#cries. sobs.

closer to being done with my first college course Thank God

#i have so many things i wanna finish up and post but work and college take up literally all my time 🥴🥴#hoping i pass my first test tho bc it would be super embarrassing to fail it lol #sigh

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hmm feeling like i wanna commit m*rder in the most unsexy of ways live laugh love

#i hate my mom’s husband :)

literally going to cry and have a mental breakdown live laugh love el oh el we live in a society

#literally want to run away and never be perceived by people who know me ykwim

the way i’ve been anxious for like a month straight now <3 lol <3

#that tight feeling in my chest literally just won’t go away i love being mentally ill </3 #start my first college class soon and even though it won’t be for a while i already know im going to fail math so bad #and probably science too now that i think about it and that’s gonna make my gpa go down the drain and then i’ll be expelled and and and #why did i ever think this was a good idea i’m not fucking smart enough for college even if it is a small christian one #and then there’s the teacher’s convention this week #aka going to a crowded strange place filled with strangers who might try to talk to me and having to be in certain places at certain times #my life is turning into a nightmare #live laugh love <3

we love living in a society where i feel useless and dumb <3

#i cant fucking write to save my life even tho i want to so bad and i wanna cry!!!#october is literally in less than two weeks and what do i have to show for kinktober? fucking nothing i hate it here

well i learned my lesson real quick lol

#i really am just the sucky backup people go to when they’re desperate huh. live laugh love #anyways i am never asking to do this again lol like i kind of have to next week but after that never again #bc clearly i’m awful lmao. at least i finally found out✌️

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is this the day i finally die <3

#have had a headache since like 4 am and it’s Not getting any better slay #also had my mom take pics for my staff id……hate looking at myself and she takes the worst photos i’ve ever seen so that’s fun

intrusive thoughts……? squints.

#can my brain shut up for 5 seconds like it’s not that serious girl stop being so dramatic

am so……bored. and sad. man :/

#why am i so affected this is stupid lol

maybe…….maybe i delete everything and pretend it never happened…… yeah <3

#and then never do anything like this again bc this happening twice in a row is too much for my fragile ego #well. sort of twice in a row. i did get 2 asks this time but one of them was from a weirdo and the other i Would do #but being like ‘omg i’m doing a follower event!’ and then posting One thing for it would be……..yeah. Yeah <3 lol

lesson officially learned woohoo <3

#lowkey…..lowkey thinking about deleting it but . idk we’ll see #lol i write mommy minho and then That is the event <33 that would be so funny

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omg just remembered the dream i had last night……..i am Down Bad this is so embarrassing

#cute taurus boy and i were dating….and then we got engaged <3 #it was very cute but also this is so fucking embarrassing oh my gosh

why does my whole body hurt

#can i please go one (1) night without something . Please #was gonna write but i’m tired and somehow lost all my motivation and i just .#sigh #yeah

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