lets take some pills to get happy

Maybe breaking a mirror is 7 years of bad luck because that’s how long it takes for each cell in your body to be replaced completely, therefore meaning you technically aren’t the person who broke the mirror anymore.

I want a lot and I’m gonna achieve all of it

If robots took over the world, they wouldn’t enslave humans because robots are more efficient at everything.

Funny how every alive and talking cartoon lobster is red. Yet in real life, lobsters only turn red once they are cooked and dead.

hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof

I’ve never seen anything so accurate though

did i talk shit? absolutely.

im in philosophy and were talking about how you can doubt everything’s existence except for your own consciousness and the guy that sits in front of me just turns around tears streaming down his face and goes “i am on so many drugs”

official member of the smokers club

Anybody else thinking about dick?

All the time

oh, well being an asexual i ACTUALLY think about REAL things like SCIENCE.

Literally no one asked

she sayin dick ain’t real?

i dont want the d. i want the a. i want to pass this class