Ellie Williams x ExGf!Reader
preview for my upcoming fic " BITTERSUITE " ,, based on Billie Eilish's new album / songs.
" , but I gotta be careful ,"
She was standing at my door. Her entire body was shaking and soaking wet, and she looked at me with an expression of sadness. I looked back at her, my heart breaking at the sight of Ellie standing at my doorstep once again, like she had been earlier this morning. I swore to myself I'd never see her again in this position, her most vulnerable and my most sensitive. Her green eyes meeting my blue ones. I couldn't believe I was letting her in. I just gotta be careful..
" ... gotta watch what I say... "
Her sombre eyes watched as I brought her over a towel. She took it in her hands and said a quiet thank you before throwing it over herself. I sat in front of her, my eyes piercing into her own. She was shivering violently and avoiding all forms of communication between us. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. All I was left with was air. She shifted her weight from side to side as she tried to make herself warmer. Her hands were clasped together in a ball, her fingers crossed over one another.
" Do you want a hot chocolate?"
" God, I hope it all goes away.. "
I placed the mug on the coffee table in front of her. She nodded and picked it up, her hands immediately wrapping around the ceramic. She blew on it a few times and smiled down at the liquid contents before drinking some. I continued to look at her. I realised she wasn't wearing the outfit I saw her in this morning. Her t-shirt was ripped and fraying at all sides, the soles of her shoes were breaking apart, and her jeans had even bigger holes in them. I studied her face as she drank the beverage, her eyes all bloodshot from what looked like crying. The thunder struck from outside the house, and she violently jerked, her face striken with fear. I looked outside, watching the trees sway from side to side in the wind.
"God I hope it all goes away, huh?"
I said to her, turning away from the window and to her curled up figure. She nodded and cleared her throat, giving me the cup.
" 'Cause I can't fall in love with you.. "
"Ellie. Why are you here?"
I said, my arms crossed over each other. She looked up at me, her eyes darting around. She sighed and stood up gently.
"I wanted to say that i-"
"If you wanted to say you were sorry, you would've done that earlier when you came and got your shit."
She looked at me stunned, her mouth hung open.
"You know I'm really sorry. I didn't know that she was gonna kiss me at that party."
I felt a rage burn right through me as she spoke. She spoke as if it wasn't her fault, as if she didn't cheat and enjoy it.
"Oh Ellie, you and Dina did a lot more than just kiss. You fucking know that."
I spat, pointing my finger in her face. I could feel my blood running cold as she stuttered, trying to make up and excuse.
"Cmon babe. You're being dramatic, it was a party!"
"Yeah, but if I was there, would've Dina and you fucked?"
She stood silent, her face rested in a soft frown. I felt tears run down my cheeks, and I let out a stifled sob from my chapped lips.
"Everyone was right. I should've never picked you up on that offer to go out for coffee."
"Oh stop being pathetic, you don't mean that. Please. I'll make it up to you, it'll be like we fell in love all over again!"
I stood up angrily and pushed her too the door.
"Ellie, I wish I could but I can't fall in love with you again."
