So Many Dreams, Such Little Time

“Two things to remember in life: Take care of your thoughts when you are alone, and take care of your words when you are with people.”

After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning And company doesn’t mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises, And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, And you learn to build all your roads on today Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn… That even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure… That you really are strong And you really do have worth… And you learn and learn… With every good-bye you learn.

If I ask you, ‘What do you want out of life?’ and you say something like, ‘I want to be happy and have a great family and a job I like,’ it’s so ubiquitous that it doesn’t even mean anything. A more interesting question, a question that perhaps you’ve never considered before, is: what pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

Whatever you put out into the world comes right back at you.

I want to stain your lips with my name So even if years later we aren’t kissing each other, Girls will still taste the love we had

I miss you. I miss not touching each other. Not seeing each other, not breathing in each other. I want you. All the time. No one else.

Make the most of the best and the least of the worst.

And I want to go so far as to say there is never a reason to be unkind. There may be reasons to disagree. There may be reasons to struggle; after all, two wills are merging into one. There are constant compromises and surrenders, but there is never a reason to be unkind.

Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.

“There are times when it is hard to believe in the future, when we are temporarily just not brave enough. When this happens, concentrate on the present. Cultivate le petit bonheur (the little happiness) until courage returns. Look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour, the promise of a good meal, sleep, a book, a movie, the likelihood that tonight the stars will shine and tomorrow the sun will shine. Sink roots into the present until the strength grows to think about tomorrow.

One of life’s best coping mechanisms is to know the difference between an inconvenience and a problem. If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire – then you’ve got a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience. Life is inconvenient. Life is lumpy. A lump in the oatmeal, a lump in the throat and a lump in the breast are not the same kind of lump. One needs to learn the difference.

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

New Year’s resolutions: 1. Think before you speak. 2. Learn to say no. 3. Stand up for youself. 4. Stop putting up with bullshit. 5. Get enough sleep. 6. Stop obsessing about what other people think. It’s none of your business. 7. Accept yourself. 8. Learn a new language. 9. Find meaning in life’s messes. 10. Understand instead of judging. 11. Forgive. 12. Let yourself be happy. Let yourself be.