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don’t know yours,

but i still know the password to your phone, and

“maybe you’re perfect right now, maybe you don’t wanna ruin that”

then maybe i would be able to figure out a way to draw the sheer depth of the gaping hole in my chest,

the one i keep trying to fill

if i was a poet

maybe i’d be able to figure out a way to describe the feeling i get each night right before i go to sleep,

when ive taken off my makeup, and stripped myself down the bare minimum of who i am,

but im not an artist

and im not a poet,

im just a girl

and you are my sun,

i shine with your light,

my sleeves are too long so my hearts in my palm of my hand,

you take my hand and fold it within yours,

not knowing (maybe knowing)

that you now hold my heart too,

they know she’s lying

she goes to sleep at night

and wakes up with tears in her eyes

she greets them with a smile,

every breath is suffocating,

and if you look closely you can see her hands are shaking,

oh she’s so close to breaking,

but she can’t, not now,

when she’s so close to getting out,

not this close to being free,

to finally being able to leave,

so i say im fine,

we read about the little train that could,

now,

burn me up,

and scatter my ashes on a windy day,

so that i may join the atmosphere,

and slowly,

one by one,

each piece of myself will fall back onto every person who ever touched my soul,

i will become a part of every one who ever brought me to life,

every waking moment of every waking day,

and in going back to the people that gave me air,

the people that were my air,

so I don’t fall apart,

and when I shatter all over the floor,

put me back together