Hoediac

Aries: World of Warcraft and Guild Wars 2 are now going to compete in the dweeb community wars Taurus: You could make a donald trump wig out of all of my dogs shed fur. Gemini: *dabs while doing the blooming konahana quest in okami and failing miserably because it keeps registering the circles as trying to draw a sun* Cancer: *in walmart* Holy shit the cEILING BIRDS ARE BACK I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY Leo: why is there a condom in the lunchroom Virgo: *friend unintentionally grabs boob while trying to grab arm* sir, that is in fact my tit Libra: Hey remember that one time when you leaned back when i was on your back and i panicked and tried to grab onto something and that something was your boob. Scorpio: ‘you’ll understand what i mean later at exactly 12:34 AM′ ‘sounds like you’re planning to kidnap me but okay. Sagittarius: *fills entire mouth with whip cream while intensely screaming* Capricorn: I’m still not over the fact that you’re gay for an amiibo Aquarius: G A Y  W A L U I G I Pisces: ‘i’m gonna hide all of your tablet pens on the fridge’ ‘h-hewwo!?’ ‘sto P’ HEWWO???’

Aries: You remind me of a sad, burnt, ugly waluigi shaped pancake. Taurus: ‘I don’t like sushi.’ ‘why?’ ‘I’m allergic and my dads ex once forced my sister to eat it and she threw up and didn’t get ice cream and i feel bad for her.’ Gemini: I don’t get why my name on Kahoot was deleted???? it was fORK??? THE FUCK???? IT WASN’T INNAPROPRIATE, SIR. Cancer: Okay cool i just heard a kid in the hall singing ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ and i doubt I should show up to school on that good old last day. Leo: we’re in like ninth and tenth grade why in the fuck are we playing Kahoot. Virgo: Oh man i love looking to the desk left of me and watching Asexual repression. thanks, Becky you fucking cUNT. Libra: Bitch called me a thot when she probably has at least thirty STD’s and i’ve heard about the amount of people she’s fucked. Scorpio: I’ll shove this fork up your dick. Sagittarius: I’ll punch you with a fire hydrant. I will personally power lift a fire hydrant out of the ground and beat you with it. Don’t try me, bitch. Capricorn: *in the middle of Costco’s while buying fathers day cupcakes* We’re just hungry, I don’t even hAVe a dad! :D ‘that’s just sad.’ Aquarius: Yes I just named my salamander drake Fucco. Pisces: I can’t believe you renamed Amaterasu, origin of all that is good and mother to plenty of ungrateful bitchasses like you ‘weeaboo doggo’ holy shit I am fucking rEVOLTED-

Aries: Danny Phantom lookin ass- Taurus: It’s either the Kit Kat or your ankle, buddy. Gemini: *Playing Okami and making Amaterasu spin around in circles for a solid minute* Chaotic Evil. Cancer: bE ANNNs???? ??? Be EAN. BEAANNNNNNN (in reference to paws.) Leo: *Drawing a cat* Plot twist this pencil got the big furry. Virgo: This music is nice. *Headbangs directly into desk.* Libra: AND OVER HERE THIS IS A C I R C L E Scorpio: Back to two sad lesbians doing some kind of weird German Bear Grylls parody Sagittarius: Sagittarius can also be pronounced and spelled as saggy tatus and people will still know what you’re talking about. Capricorn: I only know blue colored candy as the blue flavor. Aquarius: THERE’S A FUCKING CHARR OVER THERE CALLED GIZMO AUTISMO WHAT THE FUC K. Pisces: ‘You look like a fat ombre marshmallow right now oh my god why is your fucking head even sucked into that stupid sweater.’ ‘S T R E S S’

Aries: that one woman who literally stood in the aisle with her cart in the center of it facing sideways and trapping me for a solid three minutes until she moved Taurus: Guy who ran over me while I was crouched trying to grab something and just loudly said ‘ExcUSe yOU’ Gemini: Guy who emptied an entire aisle worth of artificial water flavoring into his cart Cancer: Obscure pool noodle sitting with the mens pants that i moved to the womens bathing suits for theming Leo: Kid who tried to climb out of a cart and landed on his face Virgo: guy who we saw after looking for a juice brand that was out of stock with a cart full of that very brand. Libra: Screaming child with mother who was more busy looking at animal crackers to notice him. Scorpio: Massive almost sold out promotion stand filled with Fifty Shades Freed DvDs. Sagittarius: Girl in a horse costume who ran around the store for a while and screamed ‘CLIP CLOP’ at people. Capricorn: my war flashbacks to the one time we went there to get my hair done and I ended up with a hairdressers worst nightmare for a solid month Aquarius: Lady who started playing Flappy Bird in the middle of the fucking checkout right in front of us. Pisces: Random birds nest in the ventilation system that resulted in birds literally being everywhere in the store.

Aries: I chose the homicide furry to feel tall Taurus: I’m sorry did you just shorten Shy Guy to Shug Gemini: Hang on lemme just kill this guy *flies across screen while glitching and screaming* Cancer: I’ve been hit by five red shells in a row it’s official these guys are racist against Bowser Jr. Leo: Look at me i’m hotter than all of you Virgo: ‘’you know you don’t need to kill the spiders right?’’ Yup. *kills five more spiders* Libra: This guy looked at me weird. I’m gonna go cut his left foot off. Scorpio: haha you fuckING NOODLE DICK Sagittarius: yaaay rainbow road yeAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH N OOOOOO Capricorn: *Pauses game while doing a trick and falling into the void* *Cries* Aquarius: And that’s why I was glitching through the floor and screaming. Pisces: Blue shell me again and I swear i’ll shove this Peach Amiibo up your dick hole.

Aries: You’ve taken every area near Canada except for Greenland because nobody fucking likes Greenland Taurus: The only people who seem to have wanted to join us were both just ominously standing to the side and staring into our souls Gemini: Knock knock it’s Ukraine Cancer: *After friend tried to eat a warhead whole and spat it out in tears* Haha y’all a lil bitch Leo: ‘’Can we consider a truce please ;-;’’ No Virgo: Basically you can’t just drop your guys into an area that another team has already taken like ‘’Sup motherfuckers I live here now.’’ Libra: D E S T R O Y  C H I N A Scorpio: Guess who. That’s right, it’s ya boi. G R E E N Sagittarius: The entirety of Canada looks like a massive dance party for gremlins Capricorn: Y’all talking shit cuz you can’t handle F U C K  P A T R O L Aquarius: *Throws friends horseman across the room* FUCK PATROL W I N S Pisces: hOLY SHIT STOP PUTTING YOUR GUYS ON THE BOARD WHERE ARE YOU EVEN GETTING THEM ARE YOU PULLING THEM OUT OF YOUR ASS OR SOMETHING WHAT THE FUCK *Drops another piece in a square* *SC RE A M S*