Madalena

The floor’s breaking up in two

And you’re here

Watching

With those hazel eyes

Looking into my brown ones

And the tears won’t stop blowing

I just want to hold you

Feel your heartbeat

I can’t reach you

You’re so far away

I stretch my hand in your direction

You’re going so far away

Come back

It's to much

Way to much to carry

Way to much to hold

But it's also to much to understand

To much to tell you

To much

To much to love

To much to help

I'm trying

And every day

I'm trying to forget

I'm trying to let go

I'm trying to heal

But every day

I think of you

And

Every night

I cry for you

Every day

Every hour

Every minute

Every second

I try

And I try

Way to lost

Lost in way of not knowing who I was

Not knowing who I am

Not knowing who you are

Not knowing what I want and what I feel

Not knowing if I'll ever be found again

And then you came

And you held my hand

Like a frightened kid held its teddy bear

And for once in a long time

I felt safe

I felt alive again

I looked into your eyes

I saw what u were feeling

And I felt the same

Too lost to be found

Too broke to be fixed

Too fucked up to be loved

But even tho ,

I found a way of loving you

And I wish I hadn't

I never felt I was the stronger

Maybe peolple saw me like that, but I wasn´t

I had no hand to hold, no savior

Maybe I was just praying that I could be a conquer

But I could not

All I could do was stand there to see you

To fake a smile, to pretend I was fine

Everyone says that you have to move on forwards,

That time will heal all of your pain

Well, breaking news:

That doesn´t happen

If you are that much broken,

Not even time or god can heal you

But no one ever realizes  the state you are in

And I truly don´t blame them

I´m just asking them to shut their mouths

Maybe you saw me hiden,

Maybe you didn´t

You just didn`t saw me around

But you never went after me

It is hard for me to believe that you ever cared

But you said you did, and I believed

Cause after all the scars you left in me,

It was like I still could see the good I thought you had

I was falling apart

Thinking

Hopping for you to text me, to remember me

But you didn´t, You were sound a sleep

And as you were everything to me not having you was awful

I felt so incomplete,

I felt like instead of a heart I had a time bomb

That was about to explode

An explosion of emotions

But oh trust me, those weren´t good emotions

I felt so much and nothing at the same time

I felt like there was nothing I could do but wait to be saved

But the thing is: