THE WORST OF 'EM!

dialogue prompts from rejection: fiction by tony tulathimutte.

learn palmistry. bitches love getting their palms read.

you refuse to change and then you're shocked when nothing changes.

i've been you far longer than you have.

words by themselves have no substance.

love is not an accomplishment, but to lack it somehow still feels like failure.

i've always preferred experiencing things vicariously.

would it be lame if i took a pic?

do you want me to talk you to sleep?

what's your birth time and location? i need to see something.

finally getting around to watching true detective season 1.

i knew you couldn't be chill.

you want to drag people down into the mud with you.

let's take a breath and get centered.

are you in therapy, baby?

sorry. my old shrink used to call me an 'external processor'.

i've been keeping track of my failures in my notes app.

did you know ravens can actually talk? and hold grudges?

i should have just gotten a cat.

even if you are the worst, you're also the best.

if i think about paw patrol for one second longer, i'll turn into a family annihilator.

your vibe-killing misery is palpable.

simmer the fuck down.

you punctuate texts because you don't want to risk looking stupid, even though it makes you sound amish.

you're that bitch who wears a cami under a v-neck because you're too scared to be even a normal amount of slutty.

if it was that obvious, why didn't anyone tell me?

i don't believe in small talk. especially anything work-related.

you might not be vanilla, but you are still ice cream.

i feel like you're worried i'm going to abandon you, or something.

talking about sex shouldn't feel like diffusing a bomb.

you don't know the difference between embarrassment and shame.

embarrassment is an event. shame is a condition.

i can see you going into your head. can you stay with me?

no one literally needs love. you don't die without it.

i never know when to quit.

have you ever broken a bone?

what are the biggest problems you face in your life?

doesn't mindfulness hit so different?

why wait if it feels right?

nobody's ever said they believed in me.

success is built from a thousand failures.

i stan you. i'm your simp.

crying is not an acceptable way to win a debate.

as a stoic, i seldom get pressed.

i've been keeping my teletherapist looped in on everything.

all i really regret is that i didn't fail faster.

thanks for the free publicity.

i'm used to doing everything myself. it's kind of my whole deal.

either you believe in science, or you don't.

i sold my gender to a kid named sean for $22.

you are a legit deviant.

you always gave me catholic vibes.

if you can't join them, you get beaten.

never the protagonist, always the sidekick.

i don't really identify as anything.

the thing i hate most in this dumbass world is emotional coercion.

i've never been considered a credible witness to my own life.

i'm sorry i put you on the spot.

can i sleep in your bed? platonically?

i feel like i understand you so much more now.

morality breeds grift.

the only thing worse than opinions is facts.

not for nothing is it called a 'brand'.

dialogue prompts from season one of code black.

when it rains, it pours, huh?

you're not dead until you're warm and dead.

this must be what it's like to go to the gym.

you are the least romantic person i have ever met in my life.

i remember you. you clocked me pretty well in the face.

doctors are all terrible patients.

i've never won the lotto, but i'm gonna win this.

that raft was big enough for both of them.

can't we disagree without impugning my integrity?

old age ain't for sissies.

bitch, it's bitch. i'm in the emergency room.

i forgot to feed the cat.

you're pretty cavalier about this.

you never went out and did something you regretted the next day?

all my friends are either dead or in ______.

excrement just made contact with an air distribution device.

what, you never threw a computer?

i always listen to music while i ______.

you have to take care of yourself, too.

i'm not mad at _____. i'm mad at myself.

this is not a lecture, it's talking. it's what friends do. they talk.

we shouldn't have had those drinks.

tell me a story. about you.

i see you, and i feel like i'm looking at me at your age.

sometimes there's no good answer.

_____ shouldn't have died alone.

i don't go out. ever.

if you want to play the grief olympics, i'm a gold medalist.

it's okay. you're just not ready yet.

i tried exercise once. it didn't take.

it's a miracle you're alive at all.

sometimes i think i'm being punished, and i don't know why.

when the warranty runs out, you have to get rid of the car.

it's been a long time since you felt someone look at you, hasn't it?

ten minutes to sunrise.

it's like game of thrones in this place right now.

if you can't be useful to me, get out.

i know you're scared, but i've got you.

i need you to say something motivational.

i can't imagine this place without ______.

yell at me again, i'm gonna put you over my knee.

i'm flattered and offended at the same time.

you cried. and it was an ugly cry, too.

you're alive. they're not.

if i die today, my one wish would be that you live. really live.

you're not lying to cover for _____, are you?

what's a videotape?

i knew you had a tough job, but i didn't know how hard.

i know. i love you, too.

you think ____ is all you have, but you're wrong. you have me.

you want us to decide who lives and dies?

if you do it right, you'll save more lives than you lose.

this can't be happening again.

look at me. don't give up.

i passed out in the store. some do-gooder called 911.

anxiety is totally normal.

i don't have anxiety. i'm just being careful, that's all.

i have never been happier to see you.

i don't report to you.

i'm always glad to see you, just not glad to see you here.

the flip side to everyone's best quality is their worst quality.

that's a lot of blood.

what if nobody comes?

i'm not dying tonight. i have plenty of time left.

it really doesn't matter now, does it? we are where we are.

see? i made it one more day. i told you i would.

you know i'm trying to help you, right?

the only thing worse than a lack of confidence is overconfidence.

i'm sorry for being such a hot mess.

i would not classify you as a hot mess. you're more tepid-to-lukewarm.

does it ever go away? the fear?

you don't exactly bring out the vulnerable in people.

i don't know what you think you know, but you don't.

i'm here now. i'm not going anywhere.

i said it was insane, i didn't say i wouldn't do it.

squeeze my hand if you can hear me.

i know you stole my vuitton dress and i know that wine stain was from you.

time is precious. trust me on that.

kindness is never above anybody's pay grade.

man, you suck at charades.

they're brainwashing you.

i love my kids, but they are serial killers, all of them.

i would get more privacy working in a strip club.

let me give you some advice: check yourself before you wreck yourself.

you saved your own life.

you don't know how good you are, do you?

people will talk. hr will flip.

you gotta 'eat, pray, love'. that's what oprah says.

i'll buy you a piece of pie.

you need to work on your outward display of emotion.

once in a while, you can be shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.

trying to change your mind is like trying to change the direction a river flows.

i sent you 32 letters. all of them returned unopened.

you're letting your hatred blind you. it makes you look weak.

i never figured out who i am without _____. i need to do that.

a voice inside my head said 'run', so i ran.

don't you think you're being a little dramatic?

playing that tape over and over in your head isn't good for anything.

don't let this change you. don't let this destroy the goodness that's in you.

i haven't told you today how nice you look.

you're too young to be exhausted.

i love daisies. they're uncomplicated, but wild.

if you don't eat this, i'm going to.

you and i take this to our graves. agreed?

i can't tell you how good it is to see you here.

in a lot of ways, i think i know you better than anyone.

you're hiding behind semantics.

thank you for talking to me about _____ and not asking me how i'm doing.

never take your losses into the next game.

you gotta wear the skin you're born in.

i remember everything you taught me. every single thing.

everything someone believes in is gonna sound crazy to someone else.

i'm not trying to hassle you. i'm just trying to be a friend.

if you were really my friend, you'd drop it.

there are no news cameras in here. there's no one for you to play to.

could you stop working for a minute?

i thought i was protecting you, but i was wrong.

i don't know how, but i promise you, i'm gonna make it right.

i won't be anyone's second choice.

the pills let me not think about it.

you can't go around a problem. you have to go through it.