Angela

I miss the feeling of happiness, like no matter what happened, I would always be okay. Because now no matter what happens, I just don’t feel okay. I miss flying high on the tops of cloud 9. Singing songs with lyrics nobody could understand. Because now I’m sitting on the ground, singing lyrics I understand all too well. I miss holding hands with my future, a strong relationship I saw becoming something bigger. Because now my future and I have gotten a divorce, and my past has been getting friendlier. I miss peaceful nights, falling asleep quickly to the sound of cars passing by. Because now those cars sound like death threats, and I’m much too awake debating the meaning of my own life. I miss writing poetry about a love I never had, a heartbreak I didn’t know for myself. Because now I write poetry about the love that I lost and no longer have, with the heartbreak that took away all of my misconceptions. I miss knowing myself like I knew books. Because now I just don’t read books, I just don’t know who I am anymore. I miss waging wars with other people and what they saw in me. Because now all I do is start wars with myself, and I don’t think I’m winning. I miss so much that I’ve already forgotten half of the things I miss.

She is so stubborn, her heart has an argument with her head every time it wants to beat.

I need solitude. I need space. I need air. I need the empty fields round me; and my legs pounding along roads; and sleep; and animal existence.

In order for you to become independent and face challenges by yourself, falling down is inevitable. The most important thing is that you learn how to stand back up.