𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙬.

knight+outlier.

independent multimuse roleplay blog ft. kyle rayner + other muses from dc comics + fire emblem + league of legends + other fandoms. as written by equinox.

his office always made her feel insignificant , like a puppet for his grand finale . she remembers the countless times she's stood here , each time left her feeling drained . disenfranchised . hopeless . amethyst orbs watch him carefully as he places down his cognac , that was certainly new . the bitter ex was the troupe of lex luthor , his obsession with superman was deep rooted and she could never figure out why . the story of lex luthor only went so far , the paper trail stopped ... stone dead .

❛ is this going to take long ? i'm on a deadline here . ❜ she quips , the infamous snark of lois lane . brows knitted together , his words cutting deeper and deeper into her skin . blood rushed with lies , betrayal , deceit , the unaired secrets between husband and wife . clark was entitled to keep her in the dark about aspects of his life , she respected that as he did with her . she didn't tell him about corben , about how her father decided to choose a career over his children . ❛ marriages still have separate worlds , we respect each other's privacy . . . i know that's hard for someone like you to understand that people have boundaries . ❜ she beams when delivering the words between them . standing just a little bit taller , demonstrating her confidence through posture .

she watches him saunter to the window , looking below at the city . the sun rested just above his head , casting a colossal silhouette over her . he was like a fallen angel , cast out of heaven for feuding with god . his wings long since gone , hurtling towards earth leaving nothing but a trail of devastation . she rolls her eyes at the mention of his childhood , but the smallville mention pricked at her ears . ❛ don't you have an autobiography and an upcoming lifetime special on PBS ? ❜ she folds her arms , eyes fixated to his frame . she has many questions , mostly for clark . why didn't he tell her ? she figured with the way they're both talking , lex was more than just a kid on the block he grew up with .

he might almost empathize with her, if he didn’t find it so satisfying to see her off-balance for once.

“ please, ms. lane. you know as well as i do that my autobiography is written by a ghostwriter. ” he almost sounds bored as he says it, and he turns slowly to face her. he can nearly see the gears turning in her head, the questions she must be burning to ask, though goodness knows whether she would believe his answers.

because the truth is, a few months ago, he would have claimed an unassailable hate for both clark kent and superman — one a life long enemy, the other a former friend who had, as far as lex was concerned, abandoned him in his darkest hour. by all rights, learning the two were one in the same should have made him hate the man all the more, and yet —

— and yet, once the initial anger at the deception had faded, once he was able to reconcile the anxious teenager he’d once called a friend and the alien who had become his sworn enemy, he’d felt… well, not regret, certainly, but. a certain dissatisfaction that things had not turned out differently.

IT'S NOT WRONG IF IT'S THE TRUTH !

lana looks at lex kindly, as she knew what it was like, the struggle between feeling like you belong somewhere and the simultaneous conviction that you were in a rut, and there was something more waiting for you out there if you just opened yourself up to the possibility of it. lana guessed there were some growing pains that were directly related to a certain age, and there were others, like this dilemma of settling or not settling with what you already know, that were timeless.

the brunette props her arms up on the bar, actively listening and trying to speak from a place of true empathy, ❝ well, if you don't feel like you're ready to close your chapter in smallville yet, there's surely a reason for that: there must be some loose ends you feel the need to tie up in order to move on, and my guess is you know exactly what they are ― you may be a lot of things, lex, but you're definitely not oblivious. so, i trust that, whenever the time comes, you'll find a way to get the closure that you deserve, or not, and you'll simply decide to stop letting that loose end determine the rest of your life. whatever you choose, i'll be there to support you. ❞

lana gives lex a heartfelt smile, before getting back into her own perspective and the intricacies that implied, ❝ yes, it does. the wide open fields, the familiar faces, the people...but this town carries a lot of tragedy, too. and as much as nothing is all good or all bad and there's always a balance, sometimes i wonder if the light is bright enough to eclipse all the grief and the hurt that lurks in the dark. that's a reason why i want to step out and see the world, too, in order to find out if this town really is cursed or if it's the same old song with a different tune. ❞

it’s funny. when they first met, lex had been willing to throw every resource at his disposal to help clark impress lana. he’d wondered how lana could be so blind back then; handsome, six-foot-something farm boys with savior complexes don’t just fall out of the sky, after all. now, though, he’s starting to think that the problem was never lana to begin with.

“ when did you get so wise? ” he gives her a small but genuine smile, glancing up at his coffee mug to meet her eyes. is that what clark is to him, he wonders? a loose end? clark is his friend, after all — maybe the only real friend he’s ever had — but lately, it seems like all they ever do is lie to each other and hurt each other. he’s not sure what it says about him that even with that, he doesn’t think he could bear to step away.

you remember the last time we did this. it didn't go well.

i told myself i'd never trust you again.

you're not very good at keeping promises, are you?

i thought we agreed to work together.

you're the reason i'm in this mess in the first place.

the last time i listened to you, it nearly got me killed.

i guess i don't have a choice.

you're my last hope.

this isn't going to end well.

i stuck out my neck for you once, and look what happened.

you could have told me the truth from the start.

you're a pretty slimy character.

you don't exactly exude trustworthiness.

i can't believe i'm listening to you again.

after everything that happened, i can't look at you the same.

you betrayed me.

how am i supposed to trust you again?

i put everything on the line for you, and you betrayed me.

i'm not taking orders from you.

how do i know you won't stab me in the back?

i promise you, it won't happen again.

you don't have a good track record of keeping promises.

that was bullshit, and you know it.

this time, you can trust me.

they told me what happened last time.

i won't make the same mistakes they did.

keep telling yourself that.

every time i trust you, it comes back to bite me in the ass.

that was the worst lie i've ever heard.

you're a shit liar.

you're not getting anything from me.

i'm not risking my life to save you, that's for sure.

you're talking out of your ass.

i don't believe a word you're saying.

you're full of bullshit.

that was the biggest lie you ever told.

and to think, i trusted you once.

i'm such an idiot for thinking i could trust you.

i'll never look at you the same again.

that was an awful trick.

did you mean to do that?

had i known what you were up to, i never would have agreed to this.

once again, you lied to my face.

they warned me not to trust you.

after all the things i've heard about you, i'm not sure where i stand.

you don't exactly have a very trustworthy face.

you look like a liar to me.

you won't hold up your end of the bargain. you never do.

❛  why did you have to leave me?  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me?  ❜ ❛  i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry, but i can't do this anymore.  ❜ ❛  do you even care how much you hurt me?  ❜ ❛  i'll never stop fighting for us, no matter what.  ❜ ❛  i don't know if i can forgive you.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd feel so alone, even when you're right here.  ❜ ❛  please don't go, i can't handle losing you too.  ❜ ❛  you were the one person i thought i could always count on. why did you have to let me down?  ❜ ❛  did you ever even care about us? about me?  ❜ ❛  i wish i could hate you for what you've done, but i can't.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to play games with my feelings?  ❜ ❛  i never thought saying goodbye would hurt this much.  ❜ ❛  every time i close my eyes, all i see is the pain you've caused.  ❜ ❛  why do you insist on tearing us apart when we could be so happy together?  ❜ ❛  i'm tired of pretending everything's okay when it's clearly not.  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who you are anymore.  ❜ ❛  i need you to understand how much you mean to me.  ❜ ❛  i'm scared of losing you, but i'm even more scared of losing myself.  ❜ ❛  why won't you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ❜ ❛  you were my world, and now everything is falling apart.  ❜ ❛  how am i supposed to trust anyone after what you've done?  ❜ ❛  i can't go through this heartache again.  ❜ ❛  why did you leave without saying goodbye?  ❜ ❛  how could you say something like that to me?  ❜ ❛  you've always had a way of making me feel worthless.  ❜ ❛  don't you dare walk away from me when i'm talking to you.  ❜ ❛  please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how to fix what's broken between us anymore.  ❜ ❛  you're not the person i fell in love with anymore.  ❜ ❛  just hold me and tell me everything will be okay, even if it's a lie.  ❜ ❛  i trusted you, and you betrayed me.  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you, it was never my intention.  ❜ ❛  i've given you everything, and it's still not enough.  ❜ ❛  why do you always have to make everything about you?  ❜ ❛  why did you do it? why did you betray me like that?  ❜ ❛  i miss you ... more than words can say.  ❜ ❛  you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and i'm scared of losing you.  ❜ ❛  i'll always be here for you, no matter what. just please don't shut me out.  ❜

something  that  strikes  clark  every  time  he  enters  this  office  is  how  drafty  it  is,  with  it’s  high  ceilings  and  large  windows.  it  seems  too  big  for  the  man  usually  in  it.  though,  somehow  lex  always  manages  to  fill  the  space,  a  presence  both  large  and  quiet.  

the  man  in  question  isn’t  in  the  room  at  the  moment  but  clark  has  time.  and  more  curiosity  than  is  maybe  healthy.  which  is  how  he  finds  himself  poking  around  at  the  books  in  the  bookcase  closest  to  the  desk,  running  his  fingers  over  the  spines  as  he  reads  the  titles.  it’s  a  lot  of  names  he  doesn’t  recognize.  or  things  his  literature  teacher  keeps  trying  to  get  him  to  read.  some  of  them  look  old  enough  to  be  his  dad.  

( he supposes he can’t blame him, given — well, everything, but he’s not sure he likes the feeling all the same. )

while the sight of clark in his office is not an unusual one, he does raise an eyebrow at clark’s choice of reading material. part of him whispers that he must be hiding something, that he must have hastily hidden whatever he had been looking at before, but he tamps it down before it has time to take root. it’s an old paranoia, but one he needs not entertain anymore.

“ ‘men in general judge more by eyes than by hands, for everyone can see, but very few have to feel. Everyone sees what you appear to be, yet few experience what you truly are.’ ” he recites it smoothly as he wanders closer to clark, the corners of his mouth turning up in amusement as he leans one hip against the bookshelf. “ i didn’t take you for a machiavelli fan, clark. ”