I've Been Here Too Long

“meals on wheels won’t text me back”

“I think my wife likes me back, what do I do?”

“I haven’t had it in for ages”

“run on sentences are the devil”

“I am not a cat Shaun” - senior english teacher

“it’s basically witchcraft” (about math)

“I’ve watched Australian survivor for three days instead of studying for this test”

person 1: “they’re just small and weird” person 2: “you’re small and weird but you don’t see me complaining”

“if you’re ace you don’t like fucking anybody, if you’re aro you don’t fucking like anybody”

“the square root of life is nothing”

“wait! you guys don’t know how to hotwire a car??!!??"  

"life skill 1: get rid of your feelings life skill 2: hotwire a fucking tractor okay you’re good to go”

“handholding is my kink, not like a sexual kink, just my kink in life”

“I didn’t draw mario as an answer this time so I’d say that test was a success” this was about an advanced math test

“whoever tells you that you can’t do 5 weeks of research and write a 1500 word, perfectly referenced, essay in one day is a fucking liar”