Sir, That's My Emotional Support Podcast

Like the s2 finale has Jurgen Leitner giving Jon the whole "monsters are real speech" and Jon's like "I need a cigarette. NO ONE get brutal pipe murdered while I'm gone" and Jurgen fails step 1 because Elias walks in and grabs Jon's point-and-click-adventure pipe he'd been carrying around and Brutal Pipe Murders. Which, of course, Jon walks back in on and is prime suspect #1 due to literally every single feature trait and word he's said in the entirety of s2.

So naturally s3 starts with Jon on the lam and Officer Tonner like "I'm gonna arrest him for brutal pipe murder" and I'M like "Shit. I hate this. Elias is going to SO easily pin it on Jon and get away with it."

EXCEPT Elias walks in and is like "hello Ms. Officer no Jon Archivist did not kill that man, also I won't tell you anything else, also this is what you sound like" while reciting all her childhood trauma and all her illegal activity that will get HER sent to jail for brutal murder of the non-pipe variety and now I'm like "....huh." He's also like "Jon didn't do it but you can kill him if you want maybe :)" Elias your alibi????

And then we come BACK with Jon storming Elias's office with his two lesbian bodyguards as back up and he's like "I'm gonna use my powers to make you confess to pipe murder!" At which point Elias is like "It doesn't work on me. But I'm having fun so Martin go get everyone I need to tell you all how I committed pipe murder." and Martin does and Elias is like "Yes I pipe murdered. I also killed Gertrude. I love murder. You will not be compensated extra for this time. Get back to work." And they... DO... just go back to work. Because work is haunted. One of the lesbian police officers works here now, too. This just happened. "Also living dolls from Russia are about to Apocalypse the world, Jon go stop it," Elias says, while also saying "no I'm not gonna tell you how to stop it."

Okay???? Mr. Elias man??? And you're like "maybe he's a ruthless tactician? Maybe he's brutal but it's all in the interest of stopping the doll apocalypse??? He wants to save the earth???" Except THAT'S not even true it's actually more like he's trying to get the Russian dolls kicked out of line at Disney World so HE gets to meet Mickey Mouse first by which I mean, start his OWN Apocalypse, because if the dolls do it first well then what's the point of apocalypsing a planet that's become someone else's sloppy seconds.

He feels so safe with Minkowski that the idea that he'd need to run away while he's with her just doesn't compute with him.

What Hera is able to say doesn't even identify Minkowski as the threat. She just tells him he needs to run. But Minkowski is there, not running, having told him that "everything is completely fine". And so, without knowing what the source of danger might be, he doesn't run. He stays there with his Commander.

According to the script directions, Minkowski hits him in the back of the head. If so, it means that, even though he has a clear reason to be on his guard after what he's just heard Hera say, he turns his back to Minkowski.

He makes himself vulnerable to her in that way, perhaps looking around for another threat. Because the idea that Minkowski is the thing he needs to run from doesn't even really occur to him.

And then one of his first questions to Cutter is "Where is - where is Minkowski? What did you to her?"

He doesn't ask why she hurt him like that. He asks what they did to her, a question that is more focused on her wellbeing than the injuries she's just inflicted on him.

Another cheeky Jon fanart

Here we see him in his natural habitat, stressing over the realisation that the Sasha he knew is gone.