i never thought i'd have to use this blog again bc i'd made a new blog for the purpose of being able to be more open on it etc
& yet here we are!!!!!!
(post i'm about to make is about somebody who follows my other blog - swampyentrails - hence my turning to this blog)
there's a boy at my school w whom i've become v good friends
he's incredibly easy to talk to/i feel v comfortable w him he's tall & lanky & has longish brown hair & is a literature major & is sweet & funny & & intelligent generally pretty wonderful
& i've started to develop (strong? hahaha...:\) feelings for him & i found out recently that he reciprocates(d?) those feelings, but doesn't like to make the first move (has never made the first move)
so the other night (saturday, specifically) i decided to be open w him (i.e., i told him that i like him) & he told me that he returned those sentiments but that he's in an open relationship & wanted to be sure that i'm ok with it
i realized later that i am not quite ok w it & i wasn't really at the time either (was kind of shocked / slightly disappointed / etc) but also i rly like him & wanted to hook up so i told him i was fine w it & we went back to his room etc & things seemed to be going well but then he started to feel guilty (i am first person he's been w since he got into this relationship - which has always been open) etc even though the open relationship was his idea & he actually was reluctant to get into the relationship in the first place (still he cares about this girl & she wanted this & so eventually he agreed /// at first he'd suggested polyamory but she shot that down)
anyway so now he's guilty & confused & unsure if he wants to proceed w anything & i have no idea where we stand (he needs to "think about things") & it's frustrating & i wish i didn't have to like him so much i like him lots wow!!








