hi

so when you said you wanted to lock me in your evil science chamber for days on end and experiment on me until i go crazy did you mean like.. sexually? haha sorry if im misreading just got a vibe LOL

hand hurts from jacking off

inside thought!! inside thought!!

outside thought!!!!! outside thought!!!!! my hand is sore from jerking that thang asunder!!!!!!!!

as a child i aspired to grow up to be a hairy unemployable homosexual

first base is putting your cigarettes out on each other second base is psychosexual obsession third base is murder-suicide

*me, literally sick with want* whatever

being a robotfucker while also being tech illiterate is so embarrassing

i'm like a straight man who doesn't know how to find the clit

found frottage movie

theyre just filming shitty amateur gay porn until the creature shows up

so im being horny and wayching porn and i burst out laughing because the top came and he literally sounds like someone chopped off his finger or some shit it's so fucking extra and i wish i could post it but i can't but its so fucking funny

mulder, hobbling into the office: Scully you're not gonna believe this

Shoutout to incredibly contrived set-ups for kink stories, I respect the grind so much. One time I was frolicking in a field of flowers and I found a fic whose summary started w 'IN A WORLD WHERE THE LOSING ATTORNEY HAS TO SUCK OFF THEIR OPPOSITION' and it's been stuck on my mind ever since

men love to be shoved and grabbed and thrown around and pinned down its like enrichment for them

FUCK I forgot I had jacking off tonight