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The being in me rumbles. Tired of being pushed down. Tired of being ignored. It starts to consume everything it touches until my mind isn’t mine.

#mental health #mental illness #loss #suicid

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I relate more and more to my father as I self reflect.

Pondering the ways my life would be without the parts of myself i hide. I would be more open and free. Outgoing and charismatic. I would be complete. But instead i sit in this strange hospital bed staring at the ceiling slowly drifting from my body.

#mental illness #mental health #grief

What I am left with

What am I left with when you leave? A hollow life, one where I forget you exist because it’s too painful. A smile to hide my guilt and anger. I am not mad at you, just the world i’m left with. I am left to find meaning in a life I don’t want. I am left with an incomplete family that will never feel whole again. I am left with grief I cannot process. This isn’t a life anyone would choose. But it is mine. It is what I am left with.

#grief #loss #mental health #mental illness #suicid #dealing with grief

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