I Will Always Love You The Most

To continue the reblog series on kinky stuff I am into: Hypnotic Conditioning.

There are so many hypnosis tracks out there catering to almost every kinky fantasy you can wish for. Especially in the context of ABDL lifestyle, hypnotic conditioning may be used as additional means to help you fill out your role. While some files aim to make you adopt more babylike behavior, others assist with with diaper training and the pursuit of actual diaper dependence. Even, if it does not work as intended, the mere possibility of it to actually have an effect on you, is very exciting. And if it does work, well you are meant to become a baby anyway…

Honestly, I never thought I’d actually be playing a teen lesbian. I didn’t think it was going to go this far. But I’m glad that it did, because there have been a lot of fans who have expressed that they’ve been going through similar situations in their lives.

IN MEMORY OF NAYA RIVERA

Naya Rivera was a mom, a sister, a daughter. She was an actress, a singer, a writer, a model. She was a latina woman who went through a lot in this life. She was always vocal and open about important issues such as homophobia, racism, toxic relationships, sexism, motherhood, abortion. Her character in Glee was probably one of the most influential and important representations for the LGBTQ+ community and she always talked about how Santana was important for young LGBT people and how proud she was for being able to represent something good. If Santana ever helped you, Naya was so proud of that and of you. She changed lives.

When Glee premiered, I had just come out to my mom a few months before as a bisexual woman who had fallen in love with - and started dating - her female best friend. But at that point in 2009, I hadn’t told anyone else. Coming out was a long drawn out process for me. I was not immediately comfortable coming out to all my loved ones and I wasn’t immediately comfortable being “out” in all the various spaces I inhabited routinely.

But, over the 6 years Glee aired, I watched Santana and Brittany’s story unfold and found the strength to speak my truth to more and more people. I became infinitely more comfortable in my own skin. I was able to come out to my entire family and all my friends. Eventually, I was able to come out at work.

When Brittana broke up on screen in 2012, I bought the auctioned off Brittana tissue box that Naya and Heather both signed. To my utter delight, Naya and Heather were both incredibly gracious. They didn’t just sign the tissue box, they decorated the box in drawings and Brittana related sayings at my request.

By the time Brittana got married on screen in 2015, my own wedding to my best friend was set to follow less than a month later. At our wedding reception we played Naya’s versions of Valerie and Songbird.

During our first year of marriage, I splurged on the Glee props auction and bought several screen worn outfits important to Santana’s (and Brittana’s) journey. My wonderful wife didn’t bat an eye at how excited I was to have Santana’s wedding dress, among other things. She knew how much Brittana’s story meant to me. How meaningful it was to watch two best friends fall in love, come out to their friends, and make it to their happily ever after. My love story with my wife wasn’t exactly the same as Brittana’s, but some of the big story beats were the same.

Needless to say, I am heartbroken over this news about Naya. My heart aches for her son, her parents, her sister and brother, and all her friends. She means so much to so many people. Beyond those that personally know her, she helped an entire generation of queer women accept themselves and live their lives openly and authentically.

I know this has been a very hard stretch of time, lately, already. I’m praying for Naya and her son, for her family and her friends, and also for everyone who loves her and looks up to her for the tremendous support she has shown to us, all of us. She has been a brilliant light, and this is stunningly painful.