Sola Dosis Facit Venenum

Me:

But does anyone have those moments during a low when you just don't want to eat anything at all?

Did I just get out of my wheelchair to walk over and grab something off a shelf? Yes, absolutely I did, and I looked totally able-bodied while I did it. I walk around at home all the time, we even have stairs in our house. So why do I use a wheelchair at all? Prevention my dear friend.

In my own home I know what I can handle. If I need someone to grab me something from downstairs I'll ask. I can lay down on a couch whenever I need, we have one on each floor. I walk the same paths every day so I can estimate how much energy I use. But Walmart is a total unknown. Maybe I could make it through a store fine. But what if I can't? If I crash, my condition will worsen, likely permanently. There's maybe one or two seats in the entire store, I'm probably carrying some heavy groceries, there's a lot of noise/bright lights that I have to process, I'm lost, it's an ordeal. So I take my wheelchair to reduce the strain on my body. It's still not fun, but it's manageable and I'm not as afraid.

My brain: I need to do this. And this. And that. And those things. Ohhhh but this too. And that! Aaargh. And that other thing too. Dammit. So. Much. To. Do.

6 years ago, I had a knee injury where I fractured my kneecap and tore my meniscus. I still feel chronic pain from that injury, and it now my kneecap will subluxate under certain conditions like pivoting my leg, which creates compounding damage and additional downtime. I’ve been through PT for it and wear a brace and KT tape when necessary. 

This is what disabled people are talking about when we say able-bodied people are one injury away from a permanent disability. Doctors will have you believe that these things can be healed from, but truly things like knee injuries can be a lifelong disability/chronic pain issue.  

In another camp, my husband got adult onset asthma after a bout of bronchitis, which is a relatively common infection. He now is living with a chronic illness the rest of his life.