Live laugh love mental illnesses + chronic illnesses

i hate emotions

I hate myself so much for this. I am so much of a picky eater so when she's trying to be cute and suggest foods to make for like a kitchen date where we make food together but I actually hated all the options and so I was just saying it was fine because I didn't want to be a problem, even if I have to eat the food (which wasn't even crazy suggestions btw, like it was pesto chicken with broccoli sauce and pasta with meatballs but without sauce because neither of us like red sauce) and I hate those both and since I only said it was fine and it didn't seem like I was excited about it, she resorted to suggesting dino nuggets and Mac and cheese because I have the diet of a toddler and while yes that sounds great, I feel bad because she had to give "less complicated" suggestions and even still now I'm freaking out about the box Mac and cheese brands. Like why can't I just suck it up and like those foods? Taste buds are supposed to change every seven years, why haven't mine? Why can't I have a normal relationship with food? Why do I have to be so much of a bother about food all the fucking time? When I get food places, I have to be like "oh can I have Mac and cheese" because that is like the only thing I eat or my other two options are "oh can I have a plain burger with nothing on it" and "Can I have a Caesar salad" I sound like a child. I get I'm autistic but I hate being such a picky eater, I just hate most all foods.