☼ hopeful ☼

shipping questions! || accepting

1. OTP(s) for your muse?

Komahina is a big one, obviously … Hinanami was my baby ship for that game, too. Honestly, I’ve never really shipped much else with him. That said I’m open to threads that will change my mind ! The fastest way to make me ship something is to make me think about cute situations with our muses, lol. 

AS FOR IZURU. I love Servakura but I’m too much of a baby to actually roleplay it (sobs) and I also like Izunami. I think Izuru and Junko is an interesting ship … but again, I’m a baby bean ; w ;

2. NOTP(s) for your muse?

Uhh … honestly, I don’t really have any. I think my Hajime leans more platonic than romantic with Souda, but that’s just me !

3. Which canon muse(s) do you currently ship with?

out of dress code;

                     OPEN STARTER CALL!

     like this post and i’ll either hop into your inbox with an ask meme from your blog OR i’ll post something here to get a thread rolling! no cap, but preference is given to people i don’t have threads with yet.

  It honestly hurts when Hinata flinches. With the state his body is in, almost everything hurts. Still, he keeps a good grip. He’s scared. He’s really afraid of dying right now. Even though he doesn’t care about living. For all he knows, this could be his last moment of real awareness ever. 

  The forcefulness in Hajime’s statement catches him off guard. He doesn’t have the energy to react. In a way, it only makes him admire Hajime that much more. He shuts his eyes, indulging in the other’s touch. The squeezing of his fingers makes him feel like the other really cares, even if he doesn’t deserve it. With his eyes shut, he can pretend not to notice how annoyed the other seems. He doesn’t blame him. Hajime’s scared. For some reason, he doesn’t want him to die. Even if he hates Nagito. He’s just that kind of person. How hopeful he is. Swearing he won’t die. 

  “Mm… Hinata…kun.” He opens his eyes again only to find his eyelids are almost too heavy to lift. Suddenly, it’s black again. Chills travel through him as well as a wave of nausea. He winces as his discomfort only increases. He swallows hard, his sore throat making the action painful. The chills are making him cold enough to shiver, despite his sweating. 

  “I… believe you.” Another lie, one he may or may not have told by his own free will. It’s not like he has even noticed his lying. But his voice is weak and raspy. He doesn’t want Hajime to get sick, but he really doesn’t want to be alone. This despair is… the worst. Terrible. Not only is it the despair of being so sick, but it also seems like a symptom of the illness. 

  “Please don’t stay with me. I want you to leave…” His grip is tightened to the limit of his strength, which isn’t much. “If I die, I want to… do it alone. So don’t… come closer.” 

     Komaeda is so close to slipping away that Hinata can feel it. The hand that had once gripped his shoulder as they laughed was now barely holding on to his fingers, the muscles growing more lax as the seconds passed. Hinata didn’t have to wonder where the tension was going; he found it lodged firmly in his throat.

     Even on his deathbed, Komaeda sure can lie.

     Hajime has to bite his tongue to hold his outburst. He wants to SNAP at the other, to chastise him for GIVING UP, to spit angry venom he’s been bottling up ever since the evening he realized Nagito was CRAZY, but he manages to find himself and recall the situation. Komaeda’s DESPAIR DISEASE is one hell of a test of patience. By a stroke of luck, though, Hajime manages to pass.

     He wants Hajime to stay. He doesn’t want him to leave. He doesn’t want to die alone. Nagito doesn’t need to beg for the rest. Hajime has long since lurched into motion.

     His fingers pull away from Nagito’s easily, but he doesn’t let Nagito’s hand fall. Instead, he cradles it gently, but with a sense of urgent purpose. In a sequence that doesn’t feel quite real, Hajime peels the blanket away from Nagito’s shivering form and climbs in. He immediately feels the dampness of sickly sweat as it transfers from sterile sheet to skin, but Hajime doesn’t care. What’s more important is carefully laying himself down to where he can gather Komaeda against his chest and keep him warm.

     He won’t offer an explanation. In fact, he won’t say a damn word. Komaeda can take away whatever he wants from this ( like he always does ) and Hinata will ignore it. He’s doing this because he cares. Because Nagito had asked despite being on the verge of consciousness. Whether it’s out of pity or spite or genuine consideration-- Komaeda can decide that on his own.

     “ Eh...? Tsumiki-san, I think you’re bleeding... “

 RESULT:  SEA TURTLE

 This familiar represents an individual who stands firm with their decisions, making the best out of life as it comes, and tries to find a peaceful route through any situation. You are a peacekeeper, no doubt; You can't stand violence between people, especially those you love, and will do anything to find a positive outcome for everyone. Due to this mindset, you are a problem-solver, wise and great for giving advice to others.   A Sea Turtle familiar helps their master stay at peace during chaotic times, and teaches them to take life as it comes and make the best of it.

     This familiar represents: patience, acceptance, understanding, wisdom, peacekeepers, emotional stability

tagged by: @noblehope (on a different blog, hehe. thanks!)

all of them all of my blogs im not sharing

MAINS CALL!

what would I do? || accepting

  It’s hard to focus. Despite his frequent fevers and illnesses, he doesn’t remember ever feeling this terrible before. Not only is the pain from his Lymphoma present, but his body feels like it’s falling apart. Every muscle hurts and it feels like it’s extra difficult to catch his breath. He’s cold from the chills, yet drenched in sweat. He’s thirsty and his throat is burning. 

  Despair disease. That too. Is he feeling despair? Yes. Undoubtedly. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for him to assume this will kill him. In the worst way, it seems almost impossible for him to feel hope. The despair that Nagito constantly runs from has its claws deep within him. Physical illness combined with a crushing emptiness. A hollow anxiety. He doesn’t want to be alone. He’s scared. But at the same time, he feels unwell enough to prefer falling into some sort of dangerous coma to feeling this way too much longer. 

  His arms are slowly wrapped around his chest. His head hurts really bad and he doesn’t even want to know how high his fever is. He’s certainly delirious, as a strange feeling of derealization washes over him. He’s shivering, his breathing seeming almost like it’s a chore with the amount of difficulty he seems to be having. 

  Wide and glassy eyes stare into the distance for a moment as he finds the world around him start to slip away. Without much input from his brain, Nagito’s hand reaches from beneath the covers and grabs Hajime’s. As if he wanted the other to keep him tethered to reality. Yes, it felt a lot like he was sinking. 

  “Hinata-kun…?” His vision seems to be failing in a way. No matter how much he blinks, it hardly clears up. Ah… he’s slipping into sleep again. The beeping of the heart monitor seems to be going a little faster for a moment. 

  “I feel… great.” He says softly, shutting his eyes. The odd spell seems to be easing up. Now he keeps his eyes shut in the hopes that the lights in the room are the reason for this headache. That’s not the case, however. 

  “It’s… cruel (kind) for you to stay with me…” He doesn’t know why they even care if he dies. “I hope you aren’t (are) considering killing me rather than letting me die of this illness. I’d love (hate) to have a useless death to you guys.” It wouldn’t be so bad to die knowing that Hajime would get off the island.

     As Nagito’s thin limbs shift underneath the hospital blanket, Hajime can’t help thinking that the other looks half-dead. His movements are slow and purposeful, but it’s so obvious that he’s in pain. From the sweat that pours down his pallid features to the sickly smell that wafts from his bed... Hajime has never seen someone so ill before, and some animal part of him feels fear. It tells him to get away from Nagito, to keep his distance. You don’t want to get sick like him, do you? The thought disgusts him almost as soon as he’s finished thinking it. He’s lucky it gets startled straight out of his mind.

     He looks down to see Nagito’s hand clamped around his wrist. The shock of the touch had caused Hajime to flinch on instinct, but all he’d done was tug at the poor boy’s arm. Nagito wasn’t letting go, that much was clear. Hajime swallows thickly. He can hear the chap of the sick boy’s lips, the rasp of his dry throat, the wheeze of his inflamed lungs.

     Nagito Komaeda is dying but Hajime doesn’t want to hear it.

     “ You are not going to die. “

     It comes out so suddenly, so sharply. He cuts off Komaeda’s sick ramblings with the emphatic statement and he doesn’t regret being rude. He twists his wrist, grasping Komaeda’s fingers and squeezing them in return, looking down at the boy with a mixture of anger and frustration and helplessness. He knows that he has nothing more than words for the other, can’t do anything other than wait. Mikan is the nurse, after all. Hajime doesn’t even know what his talent is. He might as well be the Super High School Level Useless Individual.

    “ I already told you I’m not leaving you alone. And none of us are going to murder you, so forget about it. Just shut up and focus on getting better, okay? “