残念ですが、さようなら

as a vaporeon your only mission in life is to slap your biiiiiiiig damn tail and splash around

as a flareon your only mission in life around is to be fluffy and have an awesome attack stat

as a jolteon your only mission in life is to run around super fuckin fast and be spikey and cool

as an umbreon your only mission on life is to glow and lurch around and go "rrrreaerrr" and stare at stuff with your red eyes

as an espeon your only mission in life is to hear a whole lotta stuff with your big ears and make stuff float and bask in the sun

as a leafeon your only mission in life is to have dope defenses and go around in forests and be cool and green

as a glaceon your only mission in life is to walk around graciously in the cold and lay comfortably in the snow

as a sylveon your only mission in life is to go around joyously and hold onto stuff with your big ribbons and go "(whistling sound)"

we could probably condense the 7 deadly sins down to like 4 because greed and gluttony are basically the same thing, envy is just greed with nuance, and lust isn't a problem

licking you bee wanted your sweat. that second one was just a freak I think

Some bees collect fibres for their tiny nests! They are usually more polite about it though

"natural shedding is taking too fucking long get it together mammal" <- like that maybe. Bee has places to bee 🐝

house md

happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened"; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah

my evil influence

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

BITCH I WILL FUCKING CUT YOU

YOU’VE ANGERED THE WRONG FANDOM

You’re going down punk, just you FUCKNG WAIT!! You will learn that this fandom is far worse than you will ever want to know. We may seem soft and shy, but we’re just being NICE! We can be cold, cruel, mean, and make you suffer and wish you had never said what you said. We can send you into the farthest most empty reaches of the galaxy, summon demons to our disposal to make you suffer, and make you feel the feelings that we experience, and don’t fucking think for a single goddamn second that’s easy! The amount of emotions that would boil inside of you would literally kill you. So keep your motherfucking distance and we won’t hurt you, so stay the hell back, asshole. If you so much as insult us one more time, we will bring firey hell upon you and bitch slap you into oblivion. Your move, dildo.

We know how to kill a human and hide the evidence. Your body will never be found, and that is a promise.

You do realize a majority of the fandom are 20 somethings right? or at least in college. We can find you, kill you, and make it look like you killed yourself. Don’t try us :)

Shut up. We can exorcise a demon from you faster than Dean and Sam, believe me you need it. We can toss you into a supernova, never to be seen again, or banish you to the end of the universe where you would explode to create a new one. We can murder you and destroy all evidence of you ever existing. Basically- D-O-N-T-C-R-O-S-S-U-S

This is like finding a lost family heirloom you’ve been hearing about

finally….

important relic from the Tumblr Dark Ages

September 6th, 2014