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@innkeeper-official
OOC DISCLAIMER: I am not at the legal age to drink alcohol, and I won’t drink even when I hit it. However, alcohol will be mentioned throughout this ENTIRE BLOG! This is done mostly for the sake of comedy and community. If you don’t drink, then don’t start. If you do, make sure you at least drink responsibly!
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(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
Well, how are you feeling? It is your birthday, after all, so any problems you might be having, I want to fix immediately.
I feel… jus’ a lil’ off… just it… jus’ that…
Yes? What ails you, my beloved?
I… I don’ know… it’s just… kinda… weird.
Physically or emotionally? Help me out here...
Like… both? Somehow…
Do you want me to try to help you figure this out right now, or do you want a distraction from it?
…Distract.
Well, luckily for you, I can be very distracting...
(Minstrel leaned in close and kissed Innkeeper)
Hehehehe… thaaanks!
You know, you don't need to thank me every time...
I’s jus’ polite!
Hm. It's not polite for the Fair Folk... but that's a tale for another time.
You don't need to thank me for something when I get just as much enjoyment out of it as you do.
(Minstrel gently ran her fingers through Innkeeper's hair)
Oh… okay…
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
Well, how are you feeling? It is your birthday, after all, so any problems you might be having, I want to fix immediately.
I feel… jus’ a lil’ off… just it… jus’ that…
Yes? What ails you, my beloved?
I… I don’ know… it’s just… kinda… weird.
Physically or emotionally? Help me out here...
Like… both? Somehow…
Do you want me to try to help you figure this out right now, or do you want a distraction from it?
…Distract.
Well, luckily for you, I can be very distracting...
(Minstrel leaned in close and kissed Innkeeper)
Hehehehe… thaaanks!
You know, you don't need to thank me every time...
I’s jus’ polite!
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
Well, how are you feeling? It is your birthday, after all, so any problems you might be having, I want to fix immediately.
I feel… jus’ a lil’ off… just it… jus’ that…
Yes? What ails you, my beloved?
I… I don’ know… it’s just… kinda… weird.
Physically or emotionally? Help me out here...
Like… both? Somehow…
Do you want me to try to help you figure this out right now, or do you want a distraction from it?
…Distract.
Well, luckily for you, I can be very distracting...
(Minstrel leaned in close and kissed Innkeeper)
Hehehehe… thaaanks!
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
Well, how are you feeling? It is your birthday, after all, so any problems you might be having, I want to fix immediately.
I feel… jus’ a lil’ off… just it… jus’ that…
Yes? What ails you, my beloved?
I… I don’ know… it’s just… kinda… weird.
Physically or emotionally? Help me out here...
Like… both? Somehow…
Do you want me to try to help you figure this out right now, or do you want a distraction from it?
…Distract.
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(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
Well, how are you feeling? It is your birthday, after all, so any problems you might be having, I want to fix immediately.
I feel… jus’ a lil’ off… just it… jus’ that…
Yes? What ails you, my beloved?
I… I don’ know… it’s just… kinda… weird.
Physically or emotionally? Help me out here...
Like… both? Somehow…
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
Well, how are you feeling? It is your birthday, after all, so any problems you might be having, I want to fix immediately.
I feel… jus’ a lil’ off… just it… jus’ that…
Yes? What ails you, my beloved?
I… I don’ know… it’s just… kinda… weird.
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
Well, how are you feeling? It is your birthday, after all, so any problems you might be having, I want to fix immediately.
I feel… jus’ a lil’ off… just it… jus’ that…
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
Great. I'm glad that could be settled!
... so now what?
…I don’know.
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
Really, if they fall asleep, we could just leave them on the couch here, and then the two of us could sleep in the bedroom.
’mkay.
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(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
Don't worry, I know the deal. If they fall asleep, I'll make sure they're taken care of.
’mkaaaay!
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
S'comfy...
Minnie? Where’sa cloak? I think… this isz… neededed…
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
Nuh uh! I got normal ears...
But kitty cats… they lie down like thiss… are you plannin’ to sleep here?
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
(Mutant curled up in Innkeeper's lap)
This's more comfy...
Hehehe… you’re like a kitty cat…
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
How about we all have a seat, then?
Yyeeeaaahh…
(Innkeeper collapsed onto a nearby chair.)
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(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
I wanna stay wif you...
Heh… soundzz gooood!
(Mutant waved enthusiastically as Minstrel left, turning to @innkeeper-official as the door shut behind the bard)
I wond'r wha' Minstrel'l is up to...
Me toooo… it seems a lil’ weird.
I hope she's gettin more food...
Same… cuz it’s good’a eat sumfin’!
(Yup, she’s drunk.)
Rule 'f the wild. Eat food when y'can get it...
Rule ‘f socieby… eat the good food, ‘f possibilible…
Yeah!
…Wut doez a stick taste like?
Like wood! Not yummy... I pr'fer meat...
Mee too!
Haven't had time t'hunt lat'ly...
Awwwwwh…
(Mutant giggled)
How're you alr'dy as drunk 's me?
I don’ knoow…
D'you not like thinkin' or somethin?
I jus’ can’t think alot! It not straight… it’s currrvy!
...huh?
I don’ think straight!
Now or... or ever?
Now, you…. You silly Billy! Hehe…
Heheh... Billy
(Mutant cuddled close to Innkeeper)
Mmn... You're warm...
‘m I, noow?
(Mutant started purring)
‘m IIIIIIIII? I mus’ be…
Warm... an' soft an' ... good for huggin'...
Hehehehehehe… ‘m good for huggin’! I’m warm! ‘m soooft!
Good f'r kissing...
Sooooo niiiice… ev’n ‘f I’m sickly…
An' prettyyyy
(Mutant ran their fingers through Innkeeper's hair like they saw Minstrel do. They tried to make it look like something romantic and not like monkeys or wolves grooming each other. And they mostly succeeded)
Hehehehehehe… tha’s how you fuckin’ do it!
(Of course, with the Innkeeper being drunk, it produced different, but still positive, results.)
(Mutant seemed... kinda baffled)
... cool?
Yeah, i’s cool, i’s very, very coool…
Cool...
I've... nev'r had hair...
May… maybe… we coul’ get you… um… a wig. Yeeeeaaah, a wig!
I dunno 'f I want hair...
Well, i’s an option if ya want it!
Mhm...
Jus’ letting ya know…
…
So… when’s Minnie comin’ back?
Aww tha's a cute nickname...
It izz… but really, when’s she comin’?
(Minstrel bursts in carrying a box)
Surprise!
(Innkeeper gasps dramatically.)
Ooooh my gosh! What is’t?
(Minstrel opened the box, revealing-)
Cupcakes!!
Oh… thank yoooooou!
(Innkeeper grabbed a cupcake and just straight up devoured it.)
I also got candles...
Hehehe… thaaaanks!
And you know that I'm gonna sing for you!
(Minstrel put a candle in one of the cupcakes and lit it with a match)
This’ll be greeeeat! Hehehehe…
(Minstrel picked up her instrument, and began to strum the first note of Happy Birthday, but thought better of it, switching it to a livelier tune)
It's not that tune you've all heard
A million times before
It's stupid, slow, and saccharine
And sure to make you snore
So I've got something different
Just hear what lies in store:
In keeping with the theme of tossing
Trite tradition to the wind
And slaying all the nay-sayers
Who should've been more thick-skinned
A special song that's just for you,
And done right off the cuff
And just 'tween us it is also
A chance to show my stuff
So Happy birthday from the Minstrel
Of Ravenswood Bluff!
(The music picks up faster)
Oh! If you believe Copernicus, the world is but a ball
Whose spinning brings us summer, spring and winter and then fall
Around the sun, a year is done, and you're still standing tall
(She takes a deep breath
Despitesataniccircumstanceeee...
Have the best birthday of alllll!
Oh, thaaanks! Thank yooou so much!
(Innkeeper hugged the Minstrel after the song was over.)
Well, you are a lovely audience! Now, blow out your candle, I do believe my loquacious refrain has given it chance enough to melt already.
(Innkeeper let go of the Minstrel before blowing out the candle.)
May what you are wishing for come true!
Yaaaaaay!
Of course, these cupcakes are yours to do whatever you want with. Save 'em, share 'em, but I would recommend not eating the other five right now, because that's the sort of thing that leads to instant regret.
But they’re yummyyyyy!
(Innkeeper devoured another cupcake.)
Stomach ache is not so yummy. Besides, I bet Mutant hasn't had a cupcake before... I bet they'd like it...
Ooh… ‘f course! Cupcake?
(Innkeeper grabbed another cupcake and handed it to Mutant.)
(Mutant took the cupcake, looking at it like it was their biggest challenge yet)
Wha- what side do I- eh???
Jus’ eat it!
But what 'f I get...
(Mutant gestures to the icing with its lower hands)
This stuff! On m'neck? That'd suck!! A lot!
... smellssssogood tho
You c’ld probably jus’ wipe it offf…
Or...
(Mutant opened their mouth comically wide and, with a bit of feeling for where its mouth is and adjusting the cupcake, ate the whole thing. In one bite. Including the wrapper)
MMM! Tha's gotta be the sweetes' thing I've ev'r tasted...
(Mutant made eye contact with Minstrel, who nodded her head in the direction of Innkeeper. Mutant seemed to have a realization and turned to Innkeeper)
...except f'r you~
(It tried to make a romantic face, but it doesn't really have visible eyebrows so it just seemed to... bend its third eye in a weird and kinda silly way)
(Innkeeper giggled.)
Oh, thaaaank yoooou! Hehehehe…
Hehe... hmmh
(Mutant got distracted admiring Innkeeper's face)
This’s great… you’re greeeat! Hehehe…
Mhm... glad... you're... happy...
’m glad you’re happy!
I gotta admit somethin' to you...
Wha’z it?
(With the mixed guilt and relief of sharing a secret kept for years, despite it being a secret kept for... probably less than a minute in-universe)
I still wan' you t' kiss me... you don't gotta, you don't gotta! But 'm still thinkin' about it... s'rry...
…Well, wha’ if I… wha’ if I do the kissin’ anyway?
(It took a moment for Innkeeper to find the mouth, but once she did, she gave it a gentle smooch.)
(Mutant was starstruck and dumbstruck. They couldn't do anything but make unintelligible noises and look at Innkeeper with wide, astonished eyes)
! ?? !?!? !!!!
Well? D’ya like it?
(Mutant put a hand to their intensely blushing face)
Yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. ye-
(Mutant seemed to be caught in a mental loop of sorts, and Minstrel, confused and unsure, attempted to break it, but she didn't really know what to do so she just... put a hand? on its head? But that did work, as Mutant closed its lower eyes and just started purring instead. Minstrel was still confused, but just shrugged)
(Innkeeper shrugged as well.)
…Well. They liked ‘t.
They certainly did. But you need not kiss them wherever there mouth is if you don't want to. There are plenty of other good places for kissing~
(Minstrel kissed Innkeeper's forehead)
Hehehe… who said I didn’ wanna? I did!
R...really?
Why wouldn’ I? You’re one uv my two lovezz! You need kizzes tooo!
Y'said it'd be weird b'fore...
Wha’s wrong with changin’ my miiind?
It's jus' cuz you're drunk! You wouldn' wanna if you'wre sober...
Oh, I’d wanna do it while sob’r!
Wha- really?
Yeeeeaaaaah!
Woah... amazin...
I know, riiiiight?
(Mutant pauses for a moment, overwhelmed with the undeniable feeling of being accepted and loved, and in this moment, there is one thing on their mind)
... c'n I have... another cupcake?
…
‘f course!
(Innkeeper got another cupcake for Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it the same way it ate the previous cupcake)
They're jus' so good...
...I promise I won' take any more of em...
They’re are good!
(Innkeeper devoured a third cupcake. She’s just asking for it at this point.)
Bu’ why stop yoursel’?
Cuz they're yoursss...
…Faiiir… I think…
Also some'f them're the evil flavor...
(Mutant narrows its eyes at a chocolate cupcake)
…Tha what?
Eeeevillll... tastessso good... but POISON'S
Y’ can’ eat chocolate?
I can... but at wha' cost?
Aaaawwwwwhhhh… I like choccy…
I like it too... but evil...
…How much can ya eat? Before you get… sick?
I dunno... 've nev'r not gotten sick...
Maybe you can try a lil’ bit. Just a lil’.
I don't know if we should be encouraging that, my love, there are other perfectly good cupcake flavors here.
Hands of Apollo, I can't believe I have to be the voice of reason here...
…Sorry…
No need to apologize, my sweet, I know you're not in the best position to make decisions, at present...
Hmm, I think this cupcake has a strawberry filling, I'd love to see what Mutant thinks of that!
Ooooh… yeah! Wanna try it, Mu’ant!
Yeah! I love frui'y stuff!!
(Innkeeper grabbed the cupcake and gave it to Mutant.)
(Mutant ate it like it did the other ones)
OOH! GOOD!
Hehe… glad ya liked it!
Mmm...
It’s just… nice and… niiiiice.
(Mutant snuggled close, yawning)
(Innkeeper yawned as well because… well… yawns are contagious for some reason.)
…You… you tire?
I could sleep... now...
(Mutant didn't seem necessarily sleepy, but they were drunk and full and happy which is basically the same thing)
Maybe don’ fall ‘sleep while standin’!
Don’ be a horsey!
