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@innerpeace10
Life is a poem.

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The search for Truth
What is truth? There is that which is self truth, and that which is universal truth as well as divine truth. Bare-boned, truth itself is a word defined by something that we hold to be constant, something that is acclaimed by the inner senses as “right” or a statement which the human conscience would condone under even the most dire of plights.
Self truth, defined simply, is what one considers to be true by his or her ideals and by his or her perception. However, an individual’s self truth may change over time as well, including that of his or her train of thought, depending on what circumstances may befall him or her. The core inner self truths, however, are formed during childhood, and, in a Freudian sense, can be deemed as unchanging and constant. Despite what chances may befall a person, in the midst of anxiety and plight, that inner self truth formed from an early age shall behold itself unto the witnesses of a seemingly pedestrian happening. For instance, if a child were to be positively encouraged throughout his childhood, he may perhaps hold the self truth that he or she is intelligent and charismatic. In retrospect, however, a child may also be negatively reinforced by his teachers or perhaps classmates that he or she is an aggressor at school. But as time goes on, the competitive spirit may be altered and the people around the person may instead say he or she is a successful visionary leader. The self truth of being an aggressor (a label) would then become visionary leader. Self truth, then, it would seem to be a fluid process, rather than a single object of constancy as truth is perceived.
Universal truth, then, hopefully is something that is constant. In almost every culture, universal truths are used to prevent chaos but seem to be instilled in us as children and perhaps even before birth. It is these truths which are indoctrinated to us all and applied that define humanity as a whole. For example, helping others in need, saving a person from death, treating others with kindness are considered good and moral in universal truth. In contrast, sleeping with your own family (incest), murder with malicious intent i.e. out of covetous heart for a neighbor’s possession or happiness, or stealing are agreed to be evil and immoral per universal truth. These universal truths are found also in almost all religions which exist on earth. Yet, one has to wonder how the universal truths have come to be defined. Rather, it should be pondered upon how all religions seem to agree on these universal truths. For is it the core of humanity which defines the universal truth or the universal truths which define man? And if so, what would man be if he had not been indoctrinated with such truths at a young age? Would he or she be mentored then by his or her conscience and still make good moral decisions which would help rather than hurt the people around him or her? I believe in the goodness of mankind, that deep within the human, we all have the goodness in our hearts to love and to care for others. It is that which has allowed mankind to thrive and flourish, aside from our intellect and ability to communicate well to succeed. Had we not had such universal truths which we hold evident through our survival, the race of mankind would have been driven to extinction long before. Yet, it is the core of universal truths which stay constant, so is close to the core of mankind. Thus, truth itself, a marker, has shown that this is how mankind has survived. It allowed for a constancy in truths which define man (moral) and differentiated him or her from the other species in this world and is something more stable.
Finally, we come to a discussion of divine truth. Truth, as we have said, is something that is constant, and considered to be immutable, permanent. Yet, can truth be thus defined by humanity? We have indeed, ourselves crafted a word begs the question itself. The Christians, Jews, and Catholics say that the Word of the Lord is Truth. The Hindus would say the Self is Truth. The Buddhists would say that Truth is something found within, similar to the perception of Hindu teachings. Yet, through all religions, it seems that Truth is not very clearly defined. Thus, it begs the question of the definition of truth, something which we have attempted to define and perhaps even question as well as depict. We know that truth is something unchanging, something constant and good, perhaps. Yet, as humans, we see self truths which change based on perception, and universal truths, which are mostly stable, but may change over time (such as the acceptance of a woman being able to have a successful career), can one truly see a truth which is constant? Such is the case of divine truth, which hearkens us back to the days of our inner being, the motivation for both self truth and universal truth, the power generator to our light bulb of self truth and light bulb of universal truth. Divine truth’s very essence defines the core of all of us, rather than just those in the “right” religion or “way of life”. I see divine truth as the light which shines forth from every human being, a light and a beautiful guiding force for us. However, just as we see light, we can only see the ripple effect of divine truth. We see the effect it has on our daily lives, yet we cannot truly define it, nor can one touch it. It is something felt, something which influences what we truly see.
Thus, divine truth is the driving force for both self truth and universal truth. It is hardly able to be defined for truth itself, is a constant. Truth, in the purest sense, is something of an anchor for us all and the constant which brings us back to reality (not our perceived reality but inner truth reality).
Beyond the Sea of Time
Finding the sea of time tireless, the wayfarer, the sailor of time seeks a place to rest. The tumultuous waves bore her ceaselessly over the rocks and the craggy cliffs from the tales of the Golden Fleece. Her sandals are worn, her staff a gentle reminder of her homeland. Yet, still she wanders, seeking the truth within, knowing that there is more than what is seen.
Traversing the waves of time, the soul knows deep within, the persons she met in the time before. Her heart and soul are endowed with knowledge beyond her ken so it seems. Without seeing, she sees, without touching, she knows, without a word, her heart beats quickly, letting her know who it is.
The journey is yet begun, yet the pathfinder is tried and the depths of her soul questioned. Her ways were once firm, but now, loosened through time, her inner morals are luckily, intact and strong, her philosophy is now much forgiving. A mockery of who she was before, indeed, perhaps becoming someone she would have disdained 5 years ago? She knows not where she is heading, the lost wanderer. Her heart and soul are tired, having traversed the sands of many deserts, some of her own making, some the makings of others. Yet, she must remain a bastion of strength, pray each day that she will be able to stay true to herself.
Remember, stay true to yourself. Never let any person or any man be the cause for compromising any of your morals or principles or even career opportunity. It is very important to also love and respect yourself. If you cannot respect yourself even, and treat yourself with love, why would others? With what intricate lies do some people weave, some entrapping me deep within their web. Never again, shall I be the same. Clearly do I see, in this fathoms deep cistern, the azure blue waters, and the boat we shall take to cross the stars and sun and moon.
About Love
What is Love? Is it merely a feeling? Is it simply a word made to represent the epitome of the power of good? In both senses, yes! However, love itself is something more profound than being a word. It is a strong feeling, defined and exemplified by action meant to protect, to be kind to others with wholehearted goodness, to support a person, and to have infinite patience for someone. Love for someone brings about a certain light in one’s eyes, a fire to the soul, and happiness and fulfillment to the heart but it also brings most importantly, a sense of security and belonging. With love, one can step across a sea of fire or fight legions of war to meet the person or find the one you love. I would fight to the death for someone I truly love unless duty to family supersedes it.
Love and Hope
There will always be times when the world brings you down, especially in relationships with people, whether it is through your boyfriend, fiance or husband. But just remember, God is always with us. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how many tears I may shed, I know and believe that Jesus and St. Mary are here. I will pray everyday that I can be a good Christian, know that every day is a new day with no mistakes in it yet! I can always make a good change for my life, advance my career, despite the ups and downs, and hopefully meet the person who will truly love me for who I am, treasure me dearly, and that person may be someone I treasure just as deeply and love. Just remember, everything in this world is possible as long as you believe. Start with baby steps, stay positive, know that everything I set my mind to is possible, know that love is all round, know that I can do everything I do my best at, know that not all is as it seems, know that everything is going to be good. I know that even as I cry everyday, and wait for God’s answer to my prayers, I choose to accept whatever decision God will help make, choose to understand that whatever happens is for the best, is for a lesson, is to help me grow in God’s way. Whoever does see this, please pray for me. Pray that I can overcome this time I am facing, stay positive for me.

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Poetry series- Somber Spring
In meadow spring
of swallows cries and singsong dance
the cherry blossoms Queens
a beauteous rose colored waltz.
Echoes of the wind to bring the past
Tales of the West to ease the Eastern wind.
Nearby, the crow a somber reminder
of bells in churches told.
Alas, the winds of regret resounds
hearken to the truth
The heart still loves the same person from before
a binding never-changing bond.
The crow sounds its somber music,
A song of two realities
to which the heart must choose.
the dame inside, a broken vase,
Strong is the Lute, the Lyre
The Magical Mage of Music, Lyre, and Lore.
The flashes of blue and florid hues In soul same colors of skies Temperate In memories dance A longing heart In young soul does mind enhance A feeling of a memory A mind in repose- Of sun and sky In kith and kin align
A sparkle of a memory, The glimmer of the sun on the shining sea- The Beauteous sounds of waves rebound On Slippery slopes and warm crystal sand A paradise in earthly world A ring of light to reminisce
Chapter 1 of Sorrows- An Introduction
Is there such a term redemption? Imagine having done something in the past in which you wish you could turn back time to redo. Imagine that this very decision changed your whole life, altered your happiness and your destiny. The ancient legends tell of war-hardened warriors and also of ladies of valour who had fought strongly in similar battles of wit and strife only to regret their actions later. Some seclude themselves to monasteries and pray to the Lord so that their souls will be spared. Others, however, take action in an attempt to help others so that they will not make the same mistake. In doing so, they try their best to make the world right for others. I would prefer to do the latter where I help others.
By no means is the human perfect, and I believe that though we may fall and have our weaknesses, it is only right and just that people can be given a chance to redeem themselves and do good, mend their ways. Not giving them this second chance, would be akin to condemning them to suffering in this world, albeit short in the heavenly realms, are long in this worldly realm.
Let me begin a story of a very flawed human. Keep in mind her young innocence and her naivety, her faith in God, but also the mistakes she makes when she is misled and in some cases, of her own doing. This story shall be allegorical and meant to appeal to a wide audience who will understand the meaning of redemption, and the human struggle to try and be good despite falling many times.
A Fulfillment Yet a Missing Piece
Despite the many pleasures of life, despite having the man you truly love next to you, you will always find that there is something, something that is intrinsically important that you are seeking. What is it to find that what you seek is something that cannot be fulfilled by this world?
Alas, I find that pursuits that once made me happy, cannot satisfy this thirst within. I used my talents in cooking and playing piano to fill this void. Yet, as I have discovered, what is the meaning indeed, to this life, if what is outside cannot fulfill what is within? What is this fear, not fear of the world, for what can happen is but death.
Ever since I was a child, I have always been afraid of losing the people I love whether to death, taken away by Kal, the bringer of justice after death. Whenever my mom left for India to see her great Master, I would cry silently into my pillow until I fell asleep last night. And indeed, I have found that as I age the sound of death is ever yet closer but also the realization of needing something more.
The best example I can give that would correlate to such a feeling is as such. Imagine that you are alone and single. You come home each day, fulfilled from helping people perhaps in your job, but exhausted and tired. Your roommates and you are not close, nor do you wish to entangle yourself in their personal lives for possibly complicated reasons. Yet it is not companionship alone, although that is very fulfilling and takes away the feeling of emptiness. Rather, it is something that makes me hunger, something that cannot be quenched by mere water, nor is it going to Mass alone that will help me. Instead, it is a spiritual cleansing, finding that intrinsic place of peace that will help.

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Spiritual Both Tangible and The Intangible
What we seek each day is something akin to fulfillment in the deepest sense, if not a sense of contentment. Each person tries to fill that depth or hole by their own manner, some by reading and accomplishing great academic feats, others by participating in brawls, while others through chemical and carnal joys.
Alas, what I seek is not material but something intangible. I’ve traveled the circus but found that what I seek, this feeling of happiness, the feeling of love is not given by what is material. What is a beautiful dress without occasion to wear it for the person you love if you are not happy when you wear it? What is living without the sustenance of life itself which is not food or water alone but also love? What is life without dreams, that which one cannot be without for there would be no hope to live for the next moment? Betwixt all movement, there is an emptiness, a sense where there is happiness inside, a soulful inner peace.
Each day, I miss that person a lot. Each day, I long to see him again, my heart filling with tears. Each day, I long also to finish my duty here and do it well.
Uncertain depths a Beacon
Let this but be a cry of hope, a yearning of the heart. The soul searches for her true home whilst the mind wanders. a quixotic dandy that fooled her before now making her more the wiser as she sees the present. Alas, her tears continue to flow. What shall she do? Let there be light, be steadfast in her loyalty in both her duty and word.
Why I am best friends with a dog and a tree
The art of listening is something to be sought. For people of all ages, young and old, being able to talk with someone who will listen, truly listen is a treasure. For the more fortunate friends who have a listening ear that they are able to hopefully have an outlet for their emotions. Occasionally,
musings and living and meaning
Sometimes to live is like driving a boat along a river. It is but a fleeting, transient moment culmination of currents that guide you. Yet at the end of the day, it is you, you the storyteller, you the sailor who guided boat to where it is now, and the great Captain (God). At times, I fall into a depression and cannot find meaning in life. Sure, I have responsibilities and I study hard, have found a job, and want to be a good daughter to my parents. But at the end of the day, I am depressed and unhappy and still lonely as ever. Loneliness is something that can eat you away slowly, carve you out until you have a painful, excruciating heartache that finally, you want to die. For whom am I working hard for? It is for my parents and myself and to not burden my extended family or society. Still through the new beginning I had, there was a man I met whom I fell in love with and wished to be with. But alas, he seems not ready sometimes for the commitment I and many young girls yearn for one day, marriage and a lifelong partner. Where to, where to? Again, I stand at the prow of the ship with my arms extended and ecstasy as I stare out at the sea and the skies before me. The world is my oyster and with hope, I will meet a man who is equally a gentleman, of good heritage and standing, responsible, caring, and lastly, tall and handsome of course. :)
The Ties that Bind
The ties that bind
-Within not out
Remember the times we spend together? I cherish them, my heart always engraving each moment in my soul.

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The role of antibiotics in Crohn's Disease and its Flares
In general, antibiotics have played a role in treating wound infections or abscesses involved in the septic complications of Crohn’s and the inflammatory bowel diseases but not so much in the primary disease processes of Crohn’s disease, UC, or pouchitis. The main rationale for using antibiotics in IBD, however, is to either decrease or alter the concentration of the bacteria or fungi or viruses that are involved in the pathogenesis of IBD. It is found that by using antibiotics, one can change the composition of the intestinal microbiota to favor the beneficial bacteria (such as Lactobacillus and Bfidobacterium that are often reduced in patients with IBD), decrease the bacterial tissue invasion and treat microabscesses or secretory products (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2660793/). Most studies involving antibiotic use in Crohn’s have shown benefit over placebo in reducing Crohn’s disease remission as shown in the table below. However, antibiotics can only alter gastrointestinal flora for a time before the bacteria return and may even promote resistance to these antibiotics by decreasing protective bacteria, especially in cases of C. Dificile in Crohn’s. Based on the possible benefit of the role of antibiotics in Crohn’s disease, there have been many studies using metronidazole, ciprofloxacin, as well as a combination of metronidazole and ciprofloxacin, rifaximin, and clarithromycin. Based on a systematic review combining 16 trials, they found that 3 trials using nitroimidazoles (active against anaerobes and of which group metronidazole is a part of), there was a combined odds ratio of 3.5 with a confidence interval of 1.94 to 6.47, showing positive benefit in long term treatment in Crohn’s. (http://cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/50/4/473.full). Ciprofloxacin (active against E. Coli) was also found to be effective in reducing Crohn disease activity scores, showing effectiveness in a controlled trial that included 47 patients who had moderately active, resistant disease on either ciprofloxacin 500mg BID or monotherapy for six months. The mean CDAI score was decreased in the ciprofloxacin group from 187 to 112 and in the placebo group from 230 to 205. Another drug possibly found useful for Crohn’s disease is rifaximin, which works by binding to the beta-subunit of the bacterial DNA-dependent RNA polymerase, which blocks the synthesis of bacterial RNA. It has activity in both gram positive and negative bacteria as well as in aerobes and anaerobes. As shown from the TARGET1 (623 patients) and TARGET2 (637 patients) trials (http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1004409), which took two identical double blind phase 3 RCTs, patients were randomly assigned to either rifaximin 550mg or placebo three times daily for 2 weeks and followed for an additional 10 weeks. The primary endpoint was the proportion of patients who had adequate relief of global IBS symptoms and the secondary endpoint was the proportion of patients who had an adequate response to treatment. From these trials, it was found that more patients in the rifaximin group (40.8% vs. 31.2%) had adequate relief of global IBS symptoms in the first 4 weeks after treatment. Patients in the rifaximin group also had better relief of bloating (39.5% vs. 28.7%). Another possible drug would be clarithromycin, a macrolide antibiotic that binds to the 50S subunit in bacterial DNA, which would eradicate some of the organisms possibly causing the granulomatous reaction in Crohn’s. An open label trial (http://www.uptodate.com/contents/antibiotics-for-treatment-of-inflammatory-bowel-diseases/abstract/16?utdPopup=true) following 25 patients with Crohn’s disease were treated with clarithromycin 250mg twice daily for four weeks with continued treatment up to 12 weeks. From this trial, around 48% achieved clinical remission whereas 64% did have an overall response. A later trial with 14 Japanese patients using clarithromycin 200mg twice daily for 4 weeks also showed a response in 57% and a remission rate of 36%. Below in the link attached is a table taken from the Can J. Gastroenterology showing the different antibiotic trials in luminal Crohn’s disease with a summary of the more recent and relevant trials using a combination of metronidazole and ciprofloxacin below: From my search, there were three main randomized control trials involving the use of metronidazole and ciprofloxacin. Two of the three trials showed that ciprofloxacin and metronidazole combination was possibly beneficial in patients with active Crohn's disease of the ileum when there is involvement of the colon. In the 2002 article by Steinhart et al., they showed combination of ciprofloxacin and metronidazole at 500mg daily each around 9 of the 17 patients with colon involvement achieved remission compared with 4 of the 16 patients on placebo (53% vs. 25%). However, if one looked at all patients, only 21 of the 64 patients who received antibiotics (33%) achieved remission compared to 25 of the 66 patients on placebo (38%). So, it would really only be beneficial in patients with colon involvement. (http://www.pulsus.com/journals/pdf_frameset.jsp?jnlKy=2&atlKy=1600&isArt=t&jnlAdvert=Gastro&adverifHCTp=&sTitle=Combination%20ciprofloxacin%20and%20metronidazole%20for%20active%20Crohn%27s%20disease%2C%20Pulsus%20Group%20Inc&VisitorType=&pdfType=fulltextpdf) and (http://www.pulsus.com/journals/abstract.jsp?sCurrPg=journal&jnlKy=2&atlKy=1600&isuKy=175&isArt=t) In the trial in 1996 per Prantera C., (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=8607501) there were 41 patients with Crohn's disease randomized to 12 weeks of ciprofloxacin 500mg BID with metronidazole 250mg four times daily of methylprednisolone 0.7-1mg/kg/day. The results showed that 10 of the 22 patients on the antibiotics (45.5%) vs 19 of the patients on steroids (63%) achieved clinical remission. The author's concluded that the combination could also be an alternative to steroids for treatment of Crohn's. In fistulizing disease, there have been remission rates as high as 50% in those using metronidazole at a high dose of 20mg/kg/day. However, nearly half of the patients taking metronidazole for an average of months had developed neurological side effects (http://www.uptodate.com/contents/antibiotics-for-treatment-of-inflammatory-bowel-diseases/abstract/36?utdPopup=true). Another trial using ciprofloxacin also showed improvement with closure of 50% of the fistulae in 40% of those using ciprofloxacin compared to 14% of those using metronidazole (http://www.uptodate.com/contents/antibiotics-for-treatment-of-inflammatory-bowel-diseases/abstract/13?utdPopup=true). Lower antibiotic doses in this case would be more effective in decreasing side effects while serving as adjuncts to immunosuppressive therapy (http://www.uptodate.com/contents/antibiotics-for-treatment-of-inflammatory-bowel-diseases/abstract/39?utdPopup=true) in a trial which showed that 73% of the (8 of 11) in the ciprofloxacin group responded better in the combination than in using infliximab alone. Thus, antibiotics using either a combination of metronidazole or ciprofloxacin or these agents alone ae used as fist-line treatments for uncomplicated perianal fistula after drainage of abscesses. These antibiotics may be continued for up to 3 months with monitoring and oftentimes in combination with other immunosuppressive agents such as azathioprine, 6-MP, or anti-TNF. The best combination therapy for treatment of Crohn’s disease or Crohn’s flares is yet to be determined, although from the studies above, it seems that combination therapies of antibiotics or antibiotics with immunosuppressants were more effective in helping patients achieve remission of their disease state. In terms of fluoroquinolone resistance, there were two studies that I found in my search regarding fluoroquinolone resistance in patients with Crohn’s Disease affected with C. Dificile. In a study by Park et al in 2014 (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24296421), microorganisms as well as their resistance to ciprofloxacin were analyzed in 78 CD patients who had percutaneous drainage of their intra-abdominal abscess. The study was from March 1991 to November 2011. From their results, they found that more than 2/3 of the gram negative aerobes taken from the abscesses in CD patients were resistant to ciprofloxacin. This was a significant result in showing the high rate of resistance to a quinolone that is possibly used at a very high rate in treating abscesses and the need to consider other antibiotic treatment. In another systematic review of C. Diff infection and inflammatory disease by Udayakumar et al. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2957597/), it was found that the resistance of C. Diff to antibiotics such as fluoroquinolones has been somewhat controversial. The use of fluoroquinolones per the paper seemed to be associated with an increase in a hyper-virulent strain of C. diff, BI/NAP1/027 that is associated with higher mortality and complicated disease course. The course of development of C. diff in IBD has been controversial and variable, however. One study showed that only 40% of the IBD patients (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21172241) on fluoroquinolones developed C. diff in comparison to 69% of those who were non-IBD patients. However, in a study examining IBD patients, 61% of those patients developed (total 2,547 in 2004 and 2,349 in 2005) C. Dificile. Thus, there is increasing resistance to fluoroquinolones to the less hyper-virulent strain of C. Diff and it plays a role in the development of increased C. diff cases.
This Beautiful Day
I wish with all my heart for something true and something pure. Is true love a fallacy or perhaps a beautiful dream? It is true and shall manifest. Love one step at a time, live each moment like your last, dream with every breath filled with hope. As long as you are alive, there is always room to make change and achieve your dream.