BeeLifter

So let's just take a minute to talk about 2019-20. I graduated high school. I moved away for college. Struggled learning how to adult because literally nobody in life prepared me for any of it. Was sexually assaulted at college. Had terrible roommates who threatened my safety (including physically acting on it) because they believed I altered the roommate agreement behind their back which never happened and instead of them having any repercussions - I changed units after sleeping on friends couches for over a week. Got married. Changed my major- drastically. (Did my family-long time family friends- or people I considered my family from my home church treat me with a supportive attitude? No, of course not. Instead the only attitude I got was overwhelming disappointment, criticism, and general hate.) Oh AND I even had a family member ask me if I was pregnant because I got married and I am young. Pregnant. As if that was the only logical explanation. In fact, I am a good 85% certain my own mother thought the same thing. Nevermind that my husband is my very best friend and the love of my life. I became a military wife, aka welcome to hell. Some days are better than others- but being without him is agony every moment. Got some bad blood work that I'm still in the process of exploring. Global pandemic turned the wait to see my husband daily struggle from in April and in May/June/July before moving with him in August to September/October/Who really knows. College was cancelled. My building decided we can't live there and we had 3 days to pack up all our stuff and leave despite paying thousands of $$$ to live there with no discussion of refunds either. Also- met my birth family after not seeing them since I was 8 months old. So in case you were wondering- my life is going great and no I really don't care that your biggest problem is not being able to find toilet paper because I worry about when I'm going to see my husband again and when the people who are supposed to be my support system are going to be more concerned with my well-being and overall happiness than the 5 year plan they decided was right for me. Success simply isn't measured by how much $$ your career path leads you to make. It isn't measured by how prestigious your major is. It isn't measured by following a cookie cutter guide to life- I mean really- tell me how many of you did. Yeah, that's what I thought. So in this world of increasing isolation due to COVID-19, do me a favor and just use this opportunity to see yourself out of my life because quite frankly I don't have the time nor the energy for any of the bs anymore. Maybe I don't really know what exactly it is I want to do with my life, or maybe it's that I can't see myself doing any ONE thing for the rest of my life (I have many interests), or maybe it's that I have more godly and less worldly influences plaguing me. Maybe its that I recognize that on my death bed and at my funeral- nobody cares how fast I climbed the corporate ladder or how old I was when I graduated medical school. Maybe its that I recognize that the only thing that really matters is the content of my character and depths of my soul. The relationships you build with people, the memories you leave behind...the love you share and give and take. The family you build. That's what matters. That's what remains.