cherry blossom

I have so much trouble in life with finding the balance between the two worlds: living offline, appreciating the beauty without needing to turn it into content, making art just for the joy of the process, keeping memories in a private album and writing poems that no one else will understand, as opposed to my personality of an art curator and showing everything beautiful I see and create to the public in the name of making the world and your spaces prettier and more interesting. I'm a bottomless well of ideas and pictures and art and nice things. I want to keep it all just for myself, have a beautiful mind, and at the same I want to post everything so that others can experience it too. I keep thinking about it lately and my thoughts are all tangled. I make a post and delete it after a minute. I take a picture for you and keep it hidden forever. I stare longingly at my old photographs and wish that someone would see them, but I don't want them to stop being mine. I'm a watercolor painting and I'm the frame of it, I'm a window that reflects the light so that you can't see inside. The quote is ringing in my head: 'Happiness is only real when shared', but what am I supposed to do with it?