In My Own Mhis

What was it with the angel?

The internal dialogue was starting to aggravate me. Sure as shit it had been me, myself and I too long. I sunk against Lassiter as Ambellina’s wrist waited in front of me. My eyes lifted to hers and my voice came weak, throttled by a tight, hoarse throat, but the effort was proper.- 

 Thank you, Ambellina. You are a female of worth and beyond my deserving. 

-Eyes dropped closed like steel shutters, instinct drawing me to her vein. It was between breaths my fangs punctured her wrist, her velvety flesh offering no resistance, only ease of access, her blood surging into my mouth in a warm tide. Nature overtook nurture, casting out the sins of my father that made me an undeserving candidate. Ambellina’s blood was concentrated power .Vigor. A different potency. An experience. I felt between dimensions, aware of every cell in my body reanimating as months of fatigue took a swift hike into kingdom come. I moaned without warrant and my pulls became ravenous. Ambellina was exceptional… rare. As my strength returned tenfold, so did my rage at the male who had harmed her. She had awakened my beast alright, but not the one that had held me suspended in fear, ushering me towards a death before my time.-

Ambellina- 

~Of all the times I had fed a male, first time or otherwise, nothing about repaying my blood debt and fulfilling Ghiselle’s request felt familiar. I was used to taking control. I was used to males being eager, even when nervous. I was used to that familiar scent of arousal that permeated the air around us at first taste of my exceptional blood washing over their awaiting taste buds. 

None of that was present as I watched Jagger kneel at my feet. My head tilted only enough to send my hair cascading back over my shoulder to hide the vein I had exposed in offer to him. I wasn’t offended. Quite the opposite. I was almost eager to get his fangs into mine wrist, his hunger was obvious only because I had seen what a starved male looked like. Unfortunately, some of my clients could only afford to pay for my services when much beyond absolutely necessary. In this instance, however, Jagger was still an anomaly. It was as if he was remaining alive through his stubbornness to not feed. 

I didn’t believe for a moment a male with his good looks would have a difficult time finding a willing female to offer her vein, and more. But here we were, he’d not fed. I wanted to ask why. I knew better. I also suspected voicing such an invasion of privacy would put an end to his reluctant acceptance of my vein. 

When Lassiter joined us and worked his large yet, oddly unobtrusive wings, I wet my lips and straightened my spine, readying myself to coax Jagger along. The angel did that for me, and the commanding tone in his voice nearly had me lifting my wrist to meet Jagger half way despite his words not being directed at me. What a strange night...and now day this had turned out to be. 

I didn’t have time to ponder, the light pressure at my wrist that worked as a warning of what was coming had my gaze dropping back to Jagger while his voice and words of gratitude floated through my mind. The gesture was not lost on me, and it only displayed just how much of a male of worth he didn’t know he was. 

I sighed softly, air blowing over my lips just as his fangs pierced into my flesh, and kept my features as neutral as they were before he had begun feeding. There was no way I was going to allow even the slightest amount of discomfort mar my face at the risk of Jagger retreating. I had heard his request of Lassiter in the kitchen and for whatever reason he felt I needed to be protected from him. Displaying any ounce of pain, even though I enjoyed the initial bite of a feed would give him the excuse he needed to stop, I was certain. I refused to allow him to end before he had had his fill. 

The light sucking at my vein felt almost...reluctant but then, as he got a proper taste, his natural instincts took over and he was moaning between strong pulls as I had come to expect of many of my clients. Wanting to offer some encouraging reassurance, my free hand lifted and my fingertips lightly traced over his eyebrow as I hummed a soft song I couldn’t recall the name of but knew it had been learned during my childhood.~ 

Jagger:

-When feeding with Haven I’d always been hyper-conscious, aware of what I was taking, and never minus the ability to pull off. I was all about the bare minimum. 

With Ambellina… hello… whole new ballgame. Every swallow pulled me into a deeper, dreamlike state. As my corpuscles swelled to newly robust heights, I  teetered on a dangerous trip into my subconscious, losing my grip on the control I’d always kept on lock. 

And then… holy shitshine… the humming started, that soft, ethereal soothing sound from the lips of Ambellina. I was… affected… afflicted… a tear rolled down my cheek as the calming gesture twisted up something inside of me, bringing images of my mother to the forefront of my mind as a muffled cry against her wrist broke me into another scene. 

Hello U-turn. 

It stood in sharp contrast to where I’d just been. Now I was aware of the angel at my back, and more images of him on my bed, depictions I didn’t fight, though fuck if I understood. I stretched back an arm the short distance and gripped Lassiter somewhere on the thigh, wrenching him closer. 

I wanted his breath on my skin… his body against mine, or beneath me. Fuck… where was this coming from? Was it Ambellina’s blood? Was it some kind of angel mojo? The torrent of images left no time for dissection and I moaned again, this time for the vivid views that flashed behind my eyes. 

I needed to stop… but didn’t want them to stop. I had to let go of her but couldn’t let go of him. 

Panic tried to rise but was stuffed by...desire… 

Until Ambellina hit a glorious note, that effectively served as a breakthrough. I released the clench of my bite, sealing the wound with a slow swipe of my tongue, savoring the decadent flavour before letting myself collapse back against Lassiter. I wasn’t lacking energy, hell no. I was invigorated. I was vital. My body was roaring and it was a good thing the angel had me restrained, not for Ambellina’s protection… but to stop me from acting on everything I’d just conjured up in my mind while under the influence. Lord knew my body was on board. Hell if I knew what it all meant.-

Lassiter: 

<Through all of my time while I took up space and stayed in the manse, I had never watched a feeding. Not really. Sure, I’d caught wind of a couple lingering in the hall when they hadn’t quite made it back to their chambers, and yeah...I guess, I had witnessed a Chosen feeding a wounded brother down in the infirmary, I didn’t count that because those females were more like being connected to an IV. Definitely not the same as what I was about to get a front row view of. Everything I knew about feedings prior to getting myself all wrapped around Jagger was what I had been told. Despite all of my second hand and admittedly limited knowledge, I felt like I was still pretty damned prepped for Jagger to feed from Blondie. His request to be restrained to avoid becoming a monster like his father, I assumed meant he anticipated a bloodlust attraction to develop. It made sense, she was even more fair and lovely than any human and was on level with the Chosen, not to mention smarter, too. That was an instant level up from having only good looks. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t find an argument against why Jagger wouldn’t ask to be restrained. Even his gracious words of gratitude left me no room to wonder. Maybe this was part of why he initially didn’t want to feed from her. I stretched my neck enough that I could catch an eyeful of Jagger’s bright white fangs as they sunk into the pale skin of Blondie’s wrist. At first, I thought I was wrong. Jagger’s lips took a few beats to seal against her flesh, but when they did, strong sucking was followed by moans and without meaning to, my arms and wings tightened around his body. I told myself it was because he had asked me to ensure she was safe. Jagger feeding was good. He needed blood. I knew this, and yet...the sounds of his moans...they were doing something to me. Fortunately before I could give that something too much further thought, a soft humming began and as I tore my eyes from their alternating path between Jagger’s lips and the bobbing of his Adam’s apple while he swallowed, I watched as Blondie’s fingers moved over his brow. The gesture wasn’t one of intimacy. Well. It was. But not the kind that could be taken as an invitation. I was so wrapped up in dissecting what was in front of my eyes I nearly missed the shine of wetness escape the corner of Jagger’s eye before Blondie wiped it away. No sooner had that happened than did things take an entirely different direction. Instead of wanting to get closer to Blondie and her blood supplying wrist, Jagger was pulling me in tighter against his back. That was unexpected. And not at all unwelcomed. In fact, I found my arms tightening further and while my chin rested on Jagger’s shoulder, watching as his fangs retreated and his tongue swiped over the bite mark, I felt the rapid fire of his heart hammering against his chest. My thumb slid back and forth across this pec as he fell against me, bringing my lips right in line with his ear. I spoke low, not wanting to spook him and lifted my gaze to Blondie’s.> Was that enough?

Jagger:

-This whole thing was turning into a damn saga. Hell if I knew which one, but maybe that’s because this was a shiny new epic, not a cheap remake with an inferior cast. 

Shiny new was what I felt, too, with a cherry paint job and a mint engine. And someone had dropped the key in my ignition and was turning the key with a twist of his wrist. Focus was sharp, but figuring that one out was like a Rubik’s cube. Behind the back. One-handed. 

Ambellina’s blood had raised me from the dead, only I hadn’t realize how far gone I’d been, until she rushed like rapids through my veins. 

With the revival had come an amplified version of the thoughts that had been lurking in fleeting moments since Lassiter walked through the door. Things I never felt. Urges I never had.  Reactions that weren’t my every day.  I’d heard that it was the norm for my kind to develop an all-you-can-eat appetite for sex following a feeding, but it never happened to me so I thought rumors of this had been greatly exaggerated.  Then came Lassiter like an epiphany, with his French toast and syrup, sparkling wit...arms… strong arms… lips that were sexy even when he was running his mouth. Or especially when he was running his mouth…

Sexy? I was sure-as-fuck I had never even thought the word. I gave myself some mental knocks and was pulled out of the well-o-Lass I’d been down deep in by the sound of his voice in my ear. Fingertips dug into the thigh I had a grip on and I opened my mouth to answer, but first came a groan, which spoiled any suspense to how good I was feeling.- 

Understatement.  A damn understatement. Either I just drank half her stock or her blood is… something more.  

-My eyes flipped up to Ambellina’s- Your blood is extraordinary. -Even though my fangs were no longer fused to her wrist, I could feel the connection I had to her. Funny again, not something I ever tapped into with Haven, but with Ambellina, I wasn’t even trying and it was there- You don’t have to answer, I can feel it. -My voice quieted so I could follow Aretha’s timeless advice while I bowed my head- 

Thank you, female, for the honor of being at your vein.

-Following up with a few moments of silence before cranking around to get a look at Lassiter- And thanks for… keeping her safe. -Nope, wasn’t dying down, these sudden impulses. I needed off his lap, but couldn’t bolt, fearing I could cause an offense or send the wrong signal that I didn’t like my coordinates. 

HOLY. HELL. 

Who was I?-

Ambellina: 

~All my experience with feeding a male and my usual business like demeanor abandoned me in my moment of need. Once Lass had commanded him to take my vein, I wanted to remain poised and professional. That didn’t happen. No. I had to go and get personal, bypassing the calming and reassuring presence I had started with and jumped straight into personal complete with wiping away a few of Jagger’s stray tears. That was a new one for me, though I should have expected something of the like, that was, after all the running theme of things from the moment Lassiter had found me. Entirely unexpected. 

A few slow and steady breaths had my mind focusing on what it was I wanted, to repay my blood debt and follow through on my promise to Ghiselle. Knowing I was in the process of doing both set my mind at ease and lessened the ego blow to my otherwise normal professional behaviour. Truthfully, I knew nothing of this day was anywhere near a level of normalcy. Not for myself, nor Jagger and I was pretty sure not for the angel, even if he was used to saving lives. Something about this whole exchange was all together divergent.

Jagger’s tongue swiping over my wrist brought me back from the cycling thoughts of my mind while Lassiter’s voice pulled me the rest of the way, and well into the present. He wanted to know if Jagger had taken enough. I knew the answer, it would suffice, for the now. Likely twice the amount of time of a normal female vampire’s blood. Fortunately for me, I was saved the task of answering. I did not wish to tell the angel the whole truth. But then, Jagger went and spilled the blood beans. 

Did he know? There was no way he could, I had kept THAT particular family secret locked up tighter than anything else. 

The word “extraordinary” echoed in my ears and as I pulled my borrowed sweater down over my wrist, I squared my shoulders while mentally preparing myself to outright lie. I could feel a faint warmth bloom upon my cheeks which was yet, another thing I didn’t normally do, but something about the way Jagger looked at me was disarming. Relief flooded my insides and cooled the flush to my cheeks when he saved me from my poorly planned lies and moved right on to thanking me. A small smile curved the edges of my lips and as I inhaled to buy myself some time, I caught it. The scent I had previously anticipated which didn’t come, had finally arrived.

Arousal. 

It was unlike any I had encountered before but no less unmistakeable. Masculine, chocolatey with warm coffee sort of undertones, not all that different from how Jagger’s blood had tasted. It wasn’t meant for me however, I knew by the way Jagger’s knuckles had gone white from the vice like grip he had on Lassiter’s thighs. Realization hit and my smile grew a little wider, in a knowingly and understanding way as I spoke.~ You are most welcome. It was my honor especially after your gift of saving mine life. Without being presumptuous, I would like to extend an offer to be available for feedings anytime you need them. 

~My ears couldn’t believe the offer my mouth was giving, but something deep down warmed inside me at the idea of helping Jagger, before he could decline, I quickly added on just as he had for me.~ You don’t have to answer now. Just know you don’t have to abstain. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to follow through on cleaning up in the kitchen. ~I nodded and rose to my feet with ease then stepped away from where Jagger continued to remain in Lassiter’s lap, and entered the kitchen, humming once again in a show of offering some kind of semblance of privacy.~  

Jagger:

-Ambellina slipped right into her coat of headstrong and the fit was tailored to perfection. I cringed that she was going to do the work in the kitchen. She was a female of worth that rivaled my own mother’s and the housekeeping after the sacrifice she made was teetering on the edge of allowing her to be used. Luckily for her unflappable determination, I had bigger things to contend with, namely the bulge in pants that was as stubborn as her. 

My awareness was sharp as a blade that had a recent meeting with a stone and my focus was in magnified. But damn the man, my voice was nowhere to be found and the nervous system was on high alert because all I could think about was the angel’s every feature.

The heat of his body commingling with mine. 

The echo of his graveled whisper in my ear.

The way his thumb had passed over my nipple making it stand up and salute under my shirt. 

Riding the coattails of Ambellina’s exit, I finally broke out of the mental paralysis and got vertical. I was itching to bolt immediately but couldn’t help but drop my eyes to where Lassiter was still sitting. 

Fuck. 

My dick jumped against my zipper and that was all the octane I needed in my tank to beat feet back to my bedroom. 

Walking through the door, my eyes went straight for the bed where I was assaulted with images of him on it. Again. This time it was the extended preview. Marching over to the bathroom counter I turned on the cold water, splashing myself in the face several times but nothing was washing it away. My arms flexed as I propped myself on fists, letting my head hang to avoid the mirror, but there was no escaping what was doing up in my head and I hated myself for what I wanted… I wanted him to follow me. Come after me.  If I looked in the mirror I wouldn’t have recognized myself.

I was blindsided by the personality transplant, fully vital from the feeding but no less fucked in the head. Only my death wish, hunger strike brand of fucked in the head had been replaced by ALADDIN-WHOLE-NEW-WORLD fucked in the head. But wait, did that make Lassiter the genie or Jasmine?

And how in the hell did I know so much about Aladdin? And why the fuck of all things was I comparing us to anything Disney?

Sweet. Hell. Something told me the long night was nowhere near rolling the credits.-

Lassiter: 

<It was interesting what happened when I kept my mouth shut, it wasn’t that I didn’t have things to say, I always did, but the two vamps were doing a fine-ass job dealing with shit on their own without my nose-butting. Knowing Jagger had fed enough from Blondie’s wrist was all I cared. He was safe from the fade for now. And to boot, she offered future feedings. I was going to do everything in my power to ensure he was agreeable. 

Before that conversation could happen, she was up and moving back into the kitchen. To clean? What the fuck. She must have clued into something I was clearly missing. But what? While my mind was replaying the events at rapid fire, Jagger removed himself from my lap and turned around to look at me. 

That was when I got one hell of an eyeful of what it was I had been missing. Well hello there, Jagger’s twitching dick. I swallowed hard and licked over my bottom lip instinctively before I found a shred of tact. Not wanting to make the guy uncomfortable, I dragged my gaze up his torso to find his face. His eyes burned into mine for a split second before he took off down the hall. 

Shit. I pushed a hand through my hair, tugging on the ends as I muttered to myself.> At least it wasn’t the front door this time. 

<Moving to stand, my wings tucked under themselves and rested against my back, and before I could even breach the kitchen doorway, Ambellina’s voice floated over with her wealth of knowledge.> “That’s not for me, you know.” 

<My brows knit together uncertain if she was actually talking to me, and as I crossed into the kitchen to ask, she turned from where she was standing at the sink. With her sweater pushed up to her elbows and hands covered in suds, she gave me a look that left no room for me to ask.> “His arousal. I’ve smelled it on many males and I know when it’s directed my way.”

<She rolled her eyes at me when I continued to stare at her, she was as lovely as this day had been long, but that didn’t mean all vamps mated up traditionally. Fuck, I even knew of a few back at the manse who were anything but traditional. She saw the moment I clued in and turned around back to her dishes. She really was the best at what she did. 

My strides down the hall were long as I searched for Jagger, and when I found him, I took a moment to watch the strong muscles of his back beneath his shirt as he let his head hang forward. It had been a long damn time since I had last pursued someone, I had been too focused on the whole soul saving thing and getting my numbers up for the Bossman. But all that faded now that I knew I had until sundown to wait. 

As I stepped up behind him, I was sure he knew I was there so I didn’t bother with courtesies like clearing my throat, I simply took hold of his hips and turned him to face me. Over his shoulder, I caught a quick glimpse of my eyes in the mirror, they were glowing a soft white, I knew what it meant, I wasn’t sure he would though.

Stepping closer, I invaded every last bit of his personal space. One arm moved around his waist, pulling him in tight against me, and when I felt his hard body against mine, I groaned. My voice was low as I spoke his name, a question and a statement all at the same time.> 

Jagger...

<When he didn’t try to push me away or say anything...not that I gave him a very long opportunity, my other hand lifted to the back of his neck, pulling his mouth to meet mine for a kiss that told him exactly what I had left unsaid.> 

Jagger:

-I held my position at the sink, still refusing to look myself in the face in the mirror. My mind was working to unravel all the conflict in the trap of my skull while my body seemed set on moving forward without it.  

My brain was the dark horse with the odds of unfamiliarity, instinct and Disney stacked against it. My body was hard, virile...eager. The feeding with Ambellina had done more than revitalize me, the potency and purity of her blood had unlocked a door to what had long been dormant. Hell, it was a place I didn’t think had existed for me.

With the door unlocked and my body primed, Lassiter had walked right in like he owned the place, with all the pomp and presence of a Ringmaster. As much as it had been her blood inside of me, it was the image of him, the memory of his body against mine, the subtle touches and his glorious construct that permeated every damned part of me.

I sure as hell didn’t understand how everything changed in the course of hours. I’d never held attraction to anyone, hell, I didn’t even understand the word… not until….

Now.

Just as I lined up one row of matching squares on my Rubik’s cube, I felt his heat behind me. God...it was already so familiar. Lassiter’s hands gripped my hips and he spun me like a top. My eyes finally lifted and were immediately magnetized to his. Their luminescence stole my breath and calmed the internal chaos. 

I didn’t stop him when his arms came around me. I didn’t push him away when he pulled me into him.

I didn’t want to. 

Though my heart had decided it was time for a drum solo, and I couldn’t respond when Lassiter said my name, I didn’t stop him when his hand came to the back of my neck…

I really didn’t want to.

Then his lips hit mine and our mouths fused. The world came into focus and fell away all in one money shot.

Fuck understanding. Fuck making sense. Fuck everything that wasn’t his chiseled lips and hot mouth owning mine.

My hands wanted in on the game and were employed without a background check, coming up to his back, taking a ride north as my knuckles brushed the underside of feathers. 

I’d never kissed. I’d never felt. I’d never wanted. Not until now.

My mind took a ten, save for one, bright, neon word branding itself on my soul:  MINE.-

Lassiter: 

<It didn’t take long for Jagger to start kissing me back. As soon as his lips began moving against mine, something inside me clicked into place...that part of me I had been keeping locked up inside in the interest of remaining focused on my work, that part that I had forced to take a back seat and hadn’t allowed myself to feel in the span of a human lifetime. His hands moving up my back and brushing the underside of my wings were like a key twisting inside my invisible lock. Giving permission to let it all come flooding out, much like the moan that rumbled up from deep inside my chest while I pulled his body in closer. 

Rarely these days did I allow myself to indulge in my own feelings, I masked my lone singularity in a world of humans and vamps with bravado, humour and undeniable fashion sense. I had been cool with that, convinced myself I was fine being without the more intimate company of another. Sure, over the years, I had indulged in my basic need to get my rocks off in a variety of ways and with anyone who caught my eye...but this was so much more than a need to get my dick wet. 

I could no longer overlook the connection I felt to Jagger the moment I had picked up the cross and chain that belonged to his mother on the ground outside the club. I could no longer deny the memories that had been held inside the golden alloy which assaulted my senses had been the start of something so much bigger.  What I had thought, and convinced myself was a need to return a lost item was a mere piece of the puzzle sliding into place. I pushed a leg between Jagger’s and pinned him against the bathroom sink, pressing my hips into his as a chuckle sounded at the realization that the Bossman was still dipping his hands into all the things. My new found understanding left me with a feeling of freedom similar to that when I would fly. 

Attraction had always come in all sorts of colours, shapes and sizes for me, the current one was dark haired, broody and with a dry humour that hit like a punch to the chin when you least expected it. I wanted more, if he was interested...and yeah, maybe the reason behind his arousal was feeding. I could find a way to accept that...but if it wasn’t...I didn’t figure Jagger to be the type to put himself out there to potentially get rejected. That was fine by me too, I had no problem making all the first moves...taking control had always been my thing. 

Nothing like the present and current state of circumstances to test that set of waters, right? My hand gripped Jagger’s hair tight as I spun him around and pressed his back to the bathroom wall for a few moments so he could feel the press of my hard cock against his own. When that move didn’t get me shoved away, I grabbed him and redirected us toward his bed, landing across it with me on top and his legs still hanging partially off the side. As my legs moved to tangle with his, I broke the kiss and licked over his lips before I searched his face. 

I could have easily touched his temple to see what he was thinking, but there was no way I was about to invade him in that kind of way, at least not without permission. Instead, I let a grin spread across my lips as my hips worked teasingly against the still very prominent bulge in his jeans.> Do you want me to keep going or are you going to try and run away again?

Jagger: 

-While Lassiter's hands charted my hips, I tried to ditch my brain, all the what-the-hells and the don't-know-what-I'm-doings. His kiss was in control and educated me on a new definition of sustenance. With every suck on my lips and roll of our tongues, something smack dab center of my soul tugged me from the inside out and into him. As the kiss continued without end, he poured into my abyss of a void. Lucky for his skills, the agony that could have come into the sitch, was cast away. I wondered if he caught my low groan when his leg pressed between mine, dragging against the underside of my rock hard cock. Fuck, the sensation was yet another revelation after my blink-and-you'd-miss-it sex life, not that I knew I was missing shit. As if he was reading my mind, Lassiter got a grip on my hair and he spun us, throwing me into the wall and leaning all his weight into me to bring me back to the right here, right now. My fangs punched down forcefully, throbbing and taking note of the pain ricocheting all directions with an origin point of my shoulder blades after taking the brunt of the impact. Fuck...it felt so good, my body coming online in yet another way. That was when my hands turned greedy, snaking under his shirt to rake up his skin and down; I wanted to sink more than just a set of blunt nails into him. Before I could act on the primal impulse, he was transporting us again and without missing a beat, the slick angel that couldn't merely be described as handsome or beautiful, had me on my back on the bed. He was working me hard, driving me insane with all the friction and slow motion and my hands dropped to his low back so I could feel all that power that was currently concentrated at his hips. A moan I had to second guess had come from me split my lips as he broke our kiss and licked over them. It was...erotic...another entry in the New Jagger Dictionary and I felt under hypnosis, my breaths coming slow, but heavy, in a foreign fashion. I felt my lips go smirk as he asked his question because my response was so natural, I didn't have time to analyze where it had come from. Hell, I didn't want to break our eye contact, but it would have to give up a few for the cause. I crunched up, getting a hit of his scent at the neck, dropping my answer close to his ear in a husty tone.- Forgot my Nikes. -I fell back onto my elbows, staying propped. I knew fuck all about what I was doing, but sure as shit didn't seem like that would be a problem. I was putting myself in his hands. And if the way his dick felt rubbing against mine was any indicator, he was the only male for the job.-

Lassiter: 

<The desire to smack someone around while in bed with them wasn’t all that far out of the ordinary for me, and when Jagger sucker punched me with another dose of his particular brand of humour, my hand twitched to do just that despite the fuck-hot smirk he was wearing. Instead, I put my hand to use elsewhere, a smirk of my own growing larger as I grabbed ahold of the hem of his shirt, yanking and tugging it up his torso.> You forgot your Nikes, eh? Then you won’t be needing this either. 

<When the material cleared his head, I took a moment to get a good look-see of what my body had already sampled by way of pressing up against his. There was one little surprise that drew my still glowing stare down and held it. Jagger had a nipple piercing. That earned a lick of my lips and a rather quick departure of my wings so I could remove my own shirt to reveal a set of my own piercings. I had twice as many as him but that wasn’t the point. Reaching out and grabbing ahold of the metal, my thumb and index finger pinched and gave a quarter turn of the piercing while my eyes burned into his.> There are only two reasons people get these kinds of piercings...either they are vain and want it for aesthetic reasons, or...they enjoy pain. 

<I gave my wrist another sharp twist, knowing the exact feeling I was delivering to Jagger’s nipple. My cock twitched in my jeans and I bucked my hips hard into his to find, YEP, I was right, he was still very much enjoying himself. I let out a dark laugh and shook my head, had I stopped to think about it, the signs were there already for me to find. The moan he gave when I threw him against the wall, the way he had clawed at my back, the grip he had on my thigh while I had restricted him in the living room as he fed. I bet he had even welcomed the cut on his eyebrow he had been sporting when I arrived. I released his nipple and leaned forward to deliver a message straight back to his ear the way he did to me.> 

I’ll let you get away with half answering me this time, Jagger. I’ll expect a full answer, next time. <My teeth clipped his earlobe, biting down hard and dragging the blunt edges over his captured flesh, giving him a few moments to let the fact that I was already thinking about hitting repeat with him before speaking again.> I am a mix of the two. Both vain and enjoy pain… <I pulled away to flash him a wicked grin and a wink, he could decide what he believed of that particular share as I pushed him to relax back against the bed. My mouth was watering in anticipation, he was Costco and I was going to enjoy all the samples that were on offer. 

My teeth scraped down his throat and over his collarbone. I stopped to suck hard at the base of his throat as my hands moved along his sides, fingers dancing over the ladder of his ribs. As I moved lower on his chest, my mouth was on a one-way road to hit up his piercing while a hand was ready to deliver some attention to the opposite side.> Jagger: 

-Impulse was not my nature. I’d been reserved and controlled but this… this going with the flow shit was serving up a freedom, and a part of myself, I hadn’t been acquainted with. Every action and reaction Lassiter threw out was unearthing previously buried relics of my instinct. I couldn’t help a moment of satisfaction that came when he called out my Nike answer but my nerves ratcheted up as he got me out of my shirt. Joining the party next was anticipation, I was unashamed as his eyes raked over me, lingering when he caught the titanium barbell that had a home through my left nipple. My cock throbbed solely for the way he took me in and harder when he licked his lips. That was for me, and fuck, drawing that out of him made me ache in a way I never had. Awestruck, it was a good thing he was taking the lead, stripping off his shirt and laying waste to any doubt in my head about what I was feeling. 

Seeing his skin and his own set of bling, I was for fact, turned on. My lip flared at one corner when he took my piercing between his fingers, twisting it just enough that I got a taste for why people might get them outside of my own reasoning; I’d wanted the pain but not for erotica. No, I wanted to remind myself of the disappointment I was for the lineage I had represented. Physical pain had always served to distract from the emotional shit I carried around. 

Funny how that all fell away in a quarter twist.

The air in the room was electrified as Lassiter built on every move with another. His breath at my ear called my body to further attention, heat channeling under my skin to every inch of my body before he even spoke. Lassiter’s message about letting my incomplete answer fly only this once… Yep, I knew I was out of my league.  The command in his tone was subtle but unmistakable, and fuck if I didn’t like it. An urge to please him surfaced as his teeth clamped around my earlobe and I growled, sounding my pleasure. I caught the “next time” and vowed to myself not to let him down… 

When he pulled away again… yeah… I couldn’t stop myself from thinking he earned his vanity, and fuck if it didn’t feel kindred that he too enjoyed pain. He could probably teach me a thing or two about appreciating it more than I had, I mean… he already was. 

God, he was really fucking pretty, but not in the way you would call a female. NO… he was all male, from the hard cuts of his body to the light scruff that peppered his jawline as it rested above a thick and tempting throat. 

I took the shove back to the bed and liked it. I liked it even more when Lassiter’s weight landed on top of me and I welcomed the scrape of his teeth with another moan that carried through the sucking on my throat. My hands found his broad back and roamed, learning the territory. His touch along my ribs left shivers in their wake, the contrast of his actions raising an army of sensations. With Lassiter’s mouth nearing my chest, I found a hand trailing up the back of his neck and into his multi-colored locks. My tongue finally came back online, and there were only a few words on the edge of a grunt as he reached my nipple…-

Anything you say. I’ll do anything you say.    

-It came out of nowhere, along with a thick, but inoffensive musk that suddenly permeated the air around us… between us. The surprises with Lassiter just kept coming.-

Lassiter:

<In the distant past when I would bring someone to my bed, I’d pretty often find myself annoyed with one thing or another, largely because I hadn’t being particularly discerning, and when I’d pick someone up at a bar it was for the singular purpose of getting my rocks off. Not to mention, alcohol worked a number on my usual standards. Rarely, in those instances did I find myself wanting to bed someone a second time. On the rare occasion, I’d find someone who took me by surprise and with that surprise, I’d find myself interested in pushing their limits as I exposed my preferences with them over a longer period than just a quick drunk fuck. 

Here, with Jagger, I was finding myself in a perpetual state of surprise. Granted I knew very little of him, aside from his whole feeding issues and that which I had accidentally gleaned from getting inside his head, but even then, it wasn’t THAT easy to take me by surprise. I’d seen a lot in my long life and had gotten pretty damn good at predicting the type of personality I was in the company of. Each reaction he gave to the moves I used to test the waters with him only increased my desire and interest. He handed over control to me in a way that felt genuine and not out of some kind of desperation to get in my pants. In fact, I’d go so far as to label him as reactionary at the moment. 

This male was a complex one with a whole set of mysteries I wanted to solve, and for the first time in a long ass time, I found I was in no hurry. I wanted to take my time with him and learn at the speed he was willing to share. That personal revelation earned a grin that broke some of the contact my mouth had on his nipple, which was all good and well because that reactionary label I’d just given him was slowly changing into something else. As his hands moved up my back and threaded into my hair, his words registered just as I smelled the scent rising up off of him. I knew that smell...well, not this one in particular because it was different for each male vampire, but I knew what it signified and the repercussions of what it meant to be a bonded male.

Lifting my head, my eyes held his while my hand continued to tease his nipple. I could feel the truth of his words and smirked at him as I spoke.> Now there’s an answer that pleases me. 

<Pulling my eyes off his, they moved to the still open door, down the hall I could hear the quiet sounds of a television that had been turned on. Blondie knew what was up, so smart she was, but in the interest of proper privacy, I backed myself up and off Jagger and stood at the edge of the bed. My hands dropped to the fly of my jeans and I popped the button free, followed slowly by the zipper before turning my back to him.> 

Your jeans better be off by the time I’m done closing the door. <Sure...I could have willed it closed, but that wouldn’t have had the same commanding effect, and I wanted Jagger to know how seriously I was taking his promise. As I closed the door with a soft click, I could hear the sound of him working quickly to remove the remainder of his clothes. Pushing my own jeans down and stepping out of them, I turned around and smirked at how well he had listened. We still had as many hours of sunlight as I had fingers and I knew just how I was going to reward him.>

Ambellina:

~A genuine smile worked its way across my lips as I turned my back to Lassiter after shedding some light on what was happening with Jagger. The expression that filled his face when he realized what I was saying was amusing, for certain he knew he was a good looking male. Perhaps he had a complex about not being a vampire? I wasn’t sure but that was not my problem to fuss over. Jagger could deal with that, which by the sounds of the grunts coming from down the hall that had been quickly sorted out. My smile grew wider as ‪my hands worked below the layer of suds, working the cloth over one of the syrup-sticky plates.‬

It had been a while since I took care of any domestic duties at my house, but that didn’t mean I didn’t know how and just like the bath I had taken, there was something cathartic about washing the dishes from the meal we had shared. My mind got lost upon itself as I moved the wash cloth over each dish, I had things to do...revenge to plan, a boss to update and my doggen to warn. Naturally, the dishes would be completed before any of that would happen, a promise was a promise and I kept mine. Always. 

When the kitchen had been cleaned and all evidence of the meal put away, I moved to the living room to turn on the television. Not that I cared about hearing what was happening down the hall, the semblance of privacy was more what I was trying to create for both the males down the hall and myself. 

I didn’t have television to watch as a child, my mahmen could barely remember to buy groceries and didn’t always pay the bill on time to keep the power on, so there was no way she was willing to pay for something as accessory as cable, and as I flipped through the channels on Jagger’s set, I settled on some sort of game show before returning to the kitchen to use the telephone. It hung on the wall and looked like it belonged from the same era as the lino on the floor...70s perhaps 80s. Corded and with a spinning dial you had to touch your finger to the metal to register which number you wanted. It filled me with nostalgia, though not the kind I would like to sit and reminisce upon. 

Lifting the receiver from the cradle, I paused for a moment and thought back to a time before speed dial and the ease of voice commanding a cell phone to simply dial a pre-programmed number, the digits of Ghiselle’s phone number had once been committed to memory and was effortlessly retrieved from the back of my mind. 

As I listened to the line ring and waited for her to pick up, I twisted my the coiled cord around one of my fingers. It didn’t take long and her voice was as sharp as ever, she’d never let on to being woken from sleep. Ghiselle was forever the picture of professionalism.~ 

“Hello.” ~Not a question, but an expectation of whomever was calling to identify themselves. I carried a desire to one day hold that much command from a single word, too.~ 

Ghiselle, it’s me. I’m calling from the home of Jagger Rhuin. I’ve completed what you asked. ~I paused to see if she would say anything, when she didn’t, I continued to fill the empty space between us on the line.~ I’ll be taking a few days off. Talk to you then?

~After a moment, she spoke.~ “Fine, but I expect you to fill me in. You never take time off, not without my forcing you to. Tell me you’re alright?”

~My lips pinched together briefly at her question. I could tell her what had happened with Rhancid but I knew better than to admit I booked him outside her rules. She’d be at my house by night fall and I did not want to deal with that.~ I’m fine. You know you never have to worry about me.

~I could hear her nails clicking on her desk, she was deciding whether or not to believe me. I waited.~ “You have three days. I’ll see that your appointments are rescheduled. And then I want to see you with mine own eyes before I will believe your ‘I’m fine.’ Understood?” 

Yes, Ghiselle. See you then. ~I sighed as I hung up the phone. She always had an inkling for when I wasn’t entirely forthright. I should have known this would be no different. But I needed time to plan and find Rhancid so I could ahvenge what he did to me before he left Caldwell, I could feel the echo of my blood in his body far enough away to be safe but also close enough to know he had not packed up and left town.

I picked up the phone again, this time calling my doggen to let them  know I’d be home at sundown and if anyone showed up unannounced, not to allow them in. I didn’t want to take any chances that Rhancid wasn’t going to go looking for anyone who might miss me when I didn’t turn up at sunrise. I was not going to underestimate him again particularly when he knew where I lived thanks to his driver picking me up the night I first met him.

Ambellina:

~I gave the courtesy of softly clearing my throat when I entered the doorway of the kitchen, and looked around to see Lassiter and Jagger sitting at the small kitchen table enjoying breakfast. My steel plated heart clenched unexpectedly. It had been so long since I enjoyed first meal with more than just the empty chairs across from me. Even before my transition, most mornings I spent tiptoeing my way through the kitchen to make whatever created the least amount of noise so I didn’t wake my mahmen...or whomever her lay of the night had been.

More often than not, I would go without because she hadn’t gone for groceries and refused to give me money to do it for her. But here, before me were not one but two males who had gone to the effort of making what looked like a very lovely meal while I had sent my woes down the drain. They appeared to be half way through and I had missed my chance to join, all because I had indulged in a purging of emotions.

Refusing to feel sorry for myself, I lifted my chin and was about to join them at the table when Jagger was out of his seat and before I could tell him it wasn’t necessary to stand for me, he was down on a knee...speaking in the old language. My breath got caught in my throat while my hands grabbed at the hem of my borrowed shirt, twisting it between my fingers as his apology hit a place in my chest that managed to slip past a crack in the self-imposed armour covering the organ that was working so diligently at pushing the blood he had given me through my veins.

I was well versed in the old language, thanks to one of my doggen who had taught it to me just so I could read the journals of my grand mahmen and while Jagger’s words were a little minced at times, the point had been delivered in his remorseful tone. I was taken aback and for the second time since being brought here by the angel, I could feel my vision growing wavy but I refused to allow myself the indulgence of letting more tears stain my cheeks. Blinking quickly, my gaze stayed fixed upon Jagger until he was done with his apology.

I was at a loss for words and looked to Lassiter for some help but he was sitting there like he hadn’t a clue what was being said. I supposed that meant angels didn’t speak the old language, so no help there. Jagger must have sensed my shock with what he had said because he continued for all of us to listen, and when he did, I was taken aback to the point where my jaw positively dropped. My recovery was slow despite the immediate thoughts that began to churn in my mind.

Right away, I nodded and moved closer to him, reaching behind me to pull my hair over my shoulder, exposing the side of my throat that wasn’t ravaged by Rhancid before pushing the sleeve of my shirt up to my elbow.~

Of course it’s still on offer, Jagger. You saved my life and I wish to repay my blood debt. Moreover, you’ve allowed me to remain here safe from the sun and have given me clothing to wear and provided access to your bathroom to clean up. I owe you immensely, so I’d like to do that now, or I can wait until you’ve finished eating?

Jagger:

- I just barely caught the shock that overtook her features before Ambellina moved forward. She flipped the tables on me, offering throat and wrist, the former of which I’d never experienced. I didn’t flinch, go me with the growth. After being so viciously savaged and leagues beyond disrespected, she was so eager to repay the favor with a male she’d only just met. Her grace was staggering and put my fears to shame. Still that didn’t ready me for it. She was more than vein to tap and she needed to feel that. I WANTED her to feel that. Getting to my feet, I felt as though I loomed over her and hoped I wasn’t too imposing. I turned a quarter, pulling out one of the available chairs.-

Would you join us?

-Even though I’d plunged into all this thanks to a shove in the right direction from Lassiter, I was hardly through my hesitation. If things moved too fast, I’d be wading through a lifetime of crap and baggage I didn’t want to unpack. It wasn’t about me though, it really wasn’t. She’d just been through hell at the hands of a shitty male, I wanted to show her compassion, I wanted her to feel communion.-

If French toast isn’t your cup of tea, Lassiter will make you whatever you want.

-hoping my dry humor wasn’t DOA and that the smirk in my tone did the trick, I shot a grin the angel’s way before turning back to Ambellina-

Maybe then you’ll allow me the chance to explain a few things.

Ambellina:

~Jagger was collecting moments of surprise with me quicker than those human girls selling their addictive cookies...he wanted me to join them for breakfast, all I could do was nod and as I took a seat, my eyes lifted to Lassiter’s waiting for him to insert his loud opinions but they never came. Instead he kept shovelling forkfuls of French toast into his mouth. The only reaction he gave was a wink and a grin when Jagger volunteered that he’d make me something else if I wanted. He did not need to go to that kind of trouble for me, he had done enough. With a small smile of gratitude for both the offer and Jagger’s dry humour, I shook my head as I spoke.~ That won’t be necessary, I will eat what you both are having.

~I watched as Jagger retrieved a plate previously stacked with a few slices of already made French toast, the opened oven sent the warm aroma wafting over before the arrival of my plate. When it was set down in front of me, I reached for the maple syrup and drizzled it over my stack before using the knife to cut a bite sized piece. As I lifted the fork to my mouth and closed my lips around the tines, I held back a moan and looked between the two males, waiting for someone to break the quiet silence that had developed.

When it was clear that Lassiter’s only plan was to keep his mouth full, I licked the sticky syrup from my lips and turned my attention to Jagger.~

Thank you for your kind generosity, this meal...I haven’t had one like this in quite some time. The companionship, that is. ~I’d never been one to feel like I needed to fill silences but I wasn’t blind to the fact that I had interrupted their casual conversation, and I didn’t want them to feel like they couldn’t continue in my presence.~

Jagger:

-Where had Lassiter’s gift of gab run off to? The dish and the proverbial spoon were still on the table so couldn’t have done the runaway thing with them. Clearly Ambellina and I weren’t used to shooting the shit in the natural way he did. I nudged his foot with mine under the table, checking for signs of life while I finished the bite in my mouth before putting my tongue to use.-

That makes two of us. I’ve been eating alone for decades. -I shrugged a shoulder, stuffing another bite in my mouth, brows drawing together in thought while I stabbed another forkful, holding it up in prep for delivery.-

That’s the tip of the ‘berg when it comes to my issue with other kinds of… eating.

-eyes flashing to Ambellina, going straight to her neck, the side that’s still in recovery, taking another blow in my chest region. How in the fuck could any male treat someone so precious with such rabidness? Swallowing thickly while getting pulled into the vortex that was my family tree.  How in the hell had my father done it time and time again? How was I his progeny?  Pinching the bridge of my nose as bile creeps up the back of my throat, threatening the moment before I choke it back down on another swallow of the French toast. I didn’t know if it was the company or the cinnamon, but it did taste pretty fancy.-

Ambellina:

~I took my time with chewing each bite that was delivered past my lips, whomever had made the French toast had quite the culinary skills and I intended on enjoying each bite until my plate was empty. It had been many hours since my last meal, Jagger’s vein aside, that my stomach felt like a never ending pit. Fortunately for me, Jagger took a turn to fill the silence by offering a moment of similarity, though I was not surprised by his admission of eating alone, I was once more taken aback by his eating issues reveal. How could a vampire, who admitted to eating alone for decades live as long has he had if he did in fact have problems feeding. I wanted to understand, and more than that, be the female who helped him. He deserved that.

In the short time I had been in his company, it was abundantly clear he was someone who held everyone at more than arm's length, and I found myself wanting to know why. He was a handsome male and not at all lacking in proper manners which was a far cry from a lot of the males I had serviced, he could have any female he wanted if he was so inclined. There had to be an explanation.

When my plate was clear, I set my cutlery down and folded my hands in my lap. Lassiter was still somehow shovelling food in his mouth, which I took as a sign that it was my turn to speak.~ Feeding is something I am very good at, Jagger. I promise you, despite the condition I arrived here in, I am strong and can endure you at my vein. I will do whatever is needed to guarantee your iceberg does not grow in size.

~My gaze held Jagger’s as I spoke so he could see my conviction and determination. Somewhere between soaking in his claw foot tub and sharing first meal together, my excuse of wanting to repay my blood debt became less about keeping my promise to Ghiselle and more about a personal desire to help Jagger in a way that he had done for me. Suddenly the why of Lassiter’s silence became clear. The angel knew something more than we ourselves did, and now that I had food in my belly to go with the blood I had drank from from Jagger’s wrist, my mind was functioning at its usual sharp capacity.

It all snapped into place. Just like my past had dictated my path to selling my blood, something in Jagger’s past clearly had caused his aversion to feeding. A soft laugh at the realization bubbled up and quickly, my hand left my lap to reach across the table, covering one of his, squeezing firmly as I spoke.~ My blood, it is unlike most females. Feeding from me will endure you longer than is traditionally expected, which means you won’t need to worry about taking a vein as often. You don’t have to explain to me why your iceberg is as large as it is, just know, I understand your need to hold some type of control.

Jagger:

-I lost track of what was left on my plate as the taste of syrup faded on my tongue, when Ambellina’s eyes fixed on mine. Her voice was lulling, but the conviction in her eyes was downright steel. The color of her pupils seemed to converge in a storm of persuasion, maybe an optical illusion, but there was more going on behind that one gaze than most others held in a lifetime.

I’d already decided I’d take her vein, so the extra selling wasn’t needed, but she was less Avon-calling and more...something. Assuring? Yeah...yeah, that was the word. And wouldn’t you know I latched right on when the mention of her blood sustaining me longer was thrown in.

Maybe it would only take one time to make sure she got her ahvenging in and was safe before I faded off into that sunset I’d been planning before this fork in the road. I wanted to ask some follow ups about why her blood was different, but left well enough alone since she wasn’t ramming my iceberg with any Titanic questions. Seemed we had found the bounds of mutual respect in short order, which was maybe why I didn’t flinch when her hand covered mine. But... the anxiety over feeding was still crawling back up my spine. The fear of becoming a monster like my father still ruled my roost, and that wasn’t going to shake off in a day, no matter how many strides I’d taken. I was driven to see it through out of the aim of protective duty. Ambellina was no shrinking violet, and I was sure she could slit a throat were it to come right down to it, but still, I wouldn’t be able to take any kind of final breath without knowing Rhancid had gotten his due.-

My resume with females is not long, but I am sure you are not like any others in general, Ambellina. So…

-clearing my throat and swallowing a few times, breaking Ambellina’s gaze after a nod of my head to shoot my eyes Lassiter’s way- Hey, hate to break up your love affair with the French toast, but I still need you for this. Just... in case. And not here.

Lassiter:

<French toast. Crispy. Decadent. Syrupy goodness. After the lost opportunity to Big Mac my stomach, I was not at all about to rush this, and for more than being hungry reasons. These two at the table with me had to get their shit to move in the same direction if they stood a chance to heal some of those emotional scars. I could see it in the way they vocally danced around asking the hard hitting questions, the kind I never shied away from, but that didn’t mean they were completely blundering.

Not even Jagger’s kick under the table or those pleading ocean blues from Blondie could convince me to pipe up before the exact perfect moment. I had half a mind to make myself invisible to their eyes while they spoke, but at the risk of looking like those crazy uncles in Casper while I continued to eat, I resisted. Besides, I got the impression that my mere presence was enough to keep their vocal cords working. Definitely doing them a favour in the courage department. Without a doubt.

When my plate was nearing empty, I slowed the rate of fork to mouth speed then eyeballed up the forgotten piece on Jagger’s plate. He was so focused on Ambellina while she explained her magical extra hearty blood that he didn’t even notice as I stabbed my fork into his partially eaten piece of toast and slid it across to my plate. I managed to polish that off too, just in time for him to accuse me of having myself a love affair with the food. I laughed heartily and sat back in the chair, rubbing my full stomach and sent a wink his way.> Everyone who knows me, knows the Big Mac is my first love. But this here breakfast is my new mistress. Don’t tell Fritz he has some competition in the kitchen, he’ll never survive.

<I laughed again at the joke only I’d get as my eyes moved over to Blondie, and I licked my lips then sat forward to gather the plates, moving to my feet as I did so I could drop them off in the sink.> Alright, Blondie. This is your show. You tell me where I need to be to help this one sink fangs into that pretty throat of yours. Shall we take it to be bedroom? Or do y’all prefer the living room? <There it was, the uncomfortable logistical questions they had so perfectly avoided…served up for dessert. I looked over at Jagger as I set the dishes in the sink, lifting my pierced brow almost daring him to go back on his word.>

Ambellina:

~The angel’s boisterous laughter seemed to do the trick of breaking the heavy Jagger and I had managed to get ourselves in. Though, I had to give credit to the male, his dry humour was what had set Lassiter off. I listened as he spoke of someone called Fritz and mused to myself how we were supposed to know him when we’d only just met. It mattered not. The comment from Jagger was enough to get Lass back in motion for which I was grateful, until he started asking more questions than I had answers for. More than that, he was putting me in charge.

Summoning up my most professional self, I nodded then turned to Jagger who was starting to look uneasy. I chalked that up to his aforementioned lack of experience. That didn’t bother me, I had to coax more than a few nervous first-timers to my vein before and had always been successful. There was no way I was going to sour my record now. Pushing away from the table and rising to my feet, my voice held all the command my ears were used to hearing fall from mine lips. Those lips might have been lacking their traditional ruby paint but the stickiness from the syrup lingered and that was enough to phantom the feeling of one piece my preferred work uniform, not that I wasn’t grateful for the clothing that had been graciously offered to me.~ The living room. It’s neutral and that way, Jagger, your bedroom shall remain yours.

~I didn’t give him a chance to agree or disagree, I simply turned on my heels and exited the kitchen, feeling their eyes on my back. I took a strengthening breath and exhaled it slowly as I surveyed the options to feed Jagger from. His sofa would work. I could sit in upon the middle cushion, Lassiter could be beside me and Jagger could choose his own approach. That would hopefully remove some of the wariness I saw in his eyes when Lassiter had given me control over things.

As I sat and waited for the males to join me, I finger combed my hair, moving it to the side where Rhancid had ravaged my throat, covering what remained of my healing wounds and exposed the opposite side. Next, I rolled back the sleeve of my shirt all the way to my elbow, just in case taking my throat proved a challenge...even if it was the faster of the two methods, I wanted to be prepared. When I was done that and still hadn’t been joined, I cleared my throat and offered some dry humour of my own.~ I realize we do literally have all day for this, but the sooner you join me, the sooner I can show my thanks for first meal by washing the dishes.

Jagger:

-As soon as the angel found his tongue again, it was on about the French toast and even through a low chuckle, I had the strange and sudden urge to fire the pan back up and make him more. Stranger than the night itself was whatever switch had flipped inside my head. I didn’t have time to foray into all that-what-the-hell, because he dropped a few more suggestions like grenades.

“...sink fangs into the pretty throat.” BOOM.

“Shall we take it to the bedroom?” DOUBLE BOOM.

But despite the ricochet from those bombs, my eyes went on a rogue mission, straight to his throat and the thought of him in my bed.

Fucking what?

I thanked all appropriate creator entities in my head that Lassiter was busy with clearing the plates, missing the swallowing I was doing. When he gave me a look, the curve of that hoop through his brow catching the fluorescents, it drew my eyes to his, and I shrugged casually, while my insides were wavy gravy.

I looked to Ambellina and wanted to thank her because her mouth was still in working order, while the pre-feeding panic started to wake up inside. My throat felt tighter, the muscles on the back of my shoulders started to bunch up and finally the heart was pumping hard enough to generate power for a small village.

She stood with such poise and confidence, I knew this was not her first time with someone uneasy, and she baptized me with relief when she suggested the living room. She exited as quietly as she had entered while I sat in my stupor until she called out from the living room, and first I laughed for the twist of humor in her tone and then in objection to her suggestion of doing the dishes. Uh. No.

I pushed myself out from the table, sliding the chair back against it before detouring to Lassiter at the sink so I could be quiet. This feeding from someone new thing was unpredictable and I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt her. My eyes narrowed with seriousness at Lassiter when I spoke.- You have to restrain me. Please. I won’t be able to do it if I’m not feeling she is safe. -dropping the volume even lower-  From me.

-I followed Ambellina’s lead, leaving the kitchen before Lass got to playing twenty questions with me, finding her on the couch, wrist already exposed. I had never taken the vein at my home except for during transition. This was different.

The gem of the entire situation came when my new fanged buddy got to growling and squeezed his fists so tight I swear I heard the small joints of his hands cry for mercy under the pressure. Instantly I knew I had a way to get the guy to feed. He wasn’t going to like it but I didn’t care, I disliked the way his days were numbered.

Then there was Rhancid. That assface needed his clock cleared and soon. It went against the rules for me to end another’s life especially in the name of revenge. I was not judge nor jury and only life saving could come from my hands. No matter how much the piece of shit deserved to be pushing daisies...unless Devina had found her way inside his body that was my single loophole, unfortunately I didn’t notice her presence when he dumped Blondie in the alley. He was just a straight up piece of trash needing to be taken out.

I watched the pair while continuing to remain silent and when Jagger showed Blondie into another room, I began to pace around the living room. The question I needed to find the answer to was my angle of approach. Which one would be the best to gain the results I wanted.

Somewhere behind me I heard the sound of water running, followed by the sound of a door softly closing. I knew he had returned to the room and I was sure the lack of me running my mouth as usual had begun to unnerve him. Good. He could stand to feel a little twitchy...that would ensure he’d be listening when I finally did impart my eternal wisdom upon him.

Turning to face Jagger as he lingered in near the end of the hall, my eyes met him before glancing toward the very spot Blondie had been parked in, indicating he take a seat. Like a good boy, he did which in turn earned him less awkward silence than I had intended to serve up.>

That mother fucker needs to get dead. I already know that’s what you’re thinking. But I also know Blondie <my arm lifted to point down the hall, emphasizing unnecessarily> won’t allow that. Her mind is made up, as revenge is hers and hers alone. So you best be derailing that thought train and start engineering the reason you refused her vein, because in case you weren’t familiar with the emotions that crossed her face I can do you a solid and spell them out.

Insult. Rejection. Confusion. Hurt.  <I ticked off each one on a finger before lifting my double pierced brow at Jagger, silently daring him to deny what I had said, he was smart enough to keep his trap shut, likely assuming I had more to say, which I did, I was just getting started.>

Where do you get off claiming such a weak-ass excuse as being unworthy? You know what I think? You’re afraid. I just haven’t figured out what the fuck you have to be afraid of unless it’s as simple as life itself. Why don’t you start by enlightening me before she rejoins us so I can damage control better because it’s clear when left to your own devices the two of you aren’t capable of forward motion.

Jagger

-It was a relief when Ambellina took me up on the offer for the bath, even though she couldn’t hide the dejection that had come with my refusal of her vein. I was stricken with so much, too much to process the tornado that had materialized on my insides. My hand went to my throat to stroke over my mother’s cross; it felt like an age since it had been returned and we hadn’t even turned over an hour.

My life had been steady, predictable and it worked with my even keel, but in a manner of weeks it had been flipped on its head and I was left trying to make sense of the curve balls being pitched my way in quick succession.

After pawing through my closet, I grabbed a shirt Ambellina would surely swim in when I felt a silent tug in a different direction. Summoning my balls, I took a short trip down the hall to a small guest room and turned the knob tentatively. It was surreal how after two decades I could still scent her in the room, it nearly overwhelmed me to the point of being woozy. I steeled myself against the tidal wave of emotions that could consume me if I wasn’t cautious. Without any procrastination I hit the closet, retrieving a robe that didn’t come with the memories some other articles of clothing would. I hit the bureau next, grabbing a few of my mother’s shirts and some lounge pants. Females liked options, right?

I quickly left and then dropped off the finds back in the master bedroom where I told Ambellina they’d be, closing the door to the room behind me to give her absolute privacy. First female that had ever been in my bedroom, and surely the last.

With a hefty sigh I headed back to the living room, sure as shit Lassiter wasn’t going to be playing harp and welcoming me back with his golden-boy smile.

I was right. His body language had changed now that we were without our female companion and without putting up any kind of internal fight, I took his every cue. First sitting, then listening as air sucked out of my lungs and my throat closed.

He sure as hell knew I wanted that Rhancid dead, but he got the part about me wanting to do the deed wrong, I just wanted to… protect her. There was no time to share that nugget of detail before he was onto my cowardice and the buffet of ways I had offended Ambellina.

The atrophy of my lungs continued while Lassiter spared no expense in calling out my every fault. I was keenly aware of his disappointment and disgust with me, good thing I had long ago learned to deal with disappointing the male species, as early as I could register my father’s detest, in fact. Somewhere inside of me, I clutched the memory of those fleeting moments where I felt the angel’s approval before they could be completely replaced with his new found perspective.

My lip flared without permission, a result of emotion I tried to hold at bay. Fuck me. This was a spectacular finale to my bent and broken life. I looked down;  at my hands, at the threading on the edge of the couch, at the floor, anywhere but his eyes, while I croaked out what I could.-

My father was... Rhancid. Ambellina is… every female he ever hurt, used, stole from… my mother. -shaking my head, swallowing with a dry throat- He was without conscious or remorse and never atoned for his crimes.

-finally finding the will to lift my eyes back to Lassiter’s-

Every time I’ve taken the vein, every time, my soul suffered the rightful consequence of misery. -desperation has me pleading with a forward lean of my body-  Males like Rhancid...like Rhuin have no right to breathe the air of that female -pointing towards the bathroom- or any other, let alone help themselves to more.

And what if… what if there’s just some dormancy lying in wait in my veins, a monster waiting to wake at the taste of some blood?

Lassiter:

<I watched as Jagger did everything he could to avoid looking me in the eye while I verbally tore a strip off him, internally I was glad to see he was capable of showing his discomfort at my words. It meant I was making some headway with him, I wasn’t sure just yet how far I had gotten under his skin. Was I merely a superficial wound he could ignore or had I infected him deeply enough to want to do something about it?

Normally people had one of two reactions to being called out on their cowardice, acceptance and denial. I stood motionless save for the rise and fall of my chest once I was done talking and waited to see which path Jagger was going to choose. Then I would know how much work I’d still have to do before Blondie was done cleaning up.

The words that barely passed over Jagger’s lips seemed to forge their own path. Not quite denial but also not complete acceptance. He was explaining, sharing, opening himself up without attempting to cover the ugly parts. I was once again surprised by him and found myself moving closer, dropping my ass down on the coffee table in front of him while watching the emotions as they filtered across his face. It seemed I had gotten deep enough without causing irreversible damage.

I already knew there was some darkness he had been dealing with when I had accidentally gotten a peek at his mind while outside but it paled in comparison to hearing him confess it aloud. When his eyes lifted to mine and he spoke of his feeding issues and then the heart wrenching fear of having the same monster his father was lying in wait inside, my hands reached out to cover his in an attempt to offer any kind of support he might be willing to accept.

Squeezing tightly and sending him a gentle healing warmth that would work to ease the emotional wounds he had exposed to me, my voice was steady and sure as I spoke.> You are not him, Jagger. The very fact that you fear following in his footsteps is proof that you aren’t…and won’t ever be like him. There is only good intentions inside you. I can see it and feel it. I know it.

Had you some kind of monster waiting to seize an opportunity to take hold of your good nature, it wouldn’t have rejected Blondie. A monster is selfish and takes without consideration or consequence. It thinks of nothing more than taking what it wants. Where as you...You couldn’t get away from her fast enough. I get it now. Your fear isn’t out of the blood exactly, it’s of who you don’t want to become. I’m sorry I accused you of being something you aren’t.

<chucking quietly to break some of the tension, my grip on his hands remained the same as I continued to funnel the warmth through the connection of our hands>

Even angels get it wrong sometimes. What I know for certain is that female, in your room, is undeniably strong. Perhaps not of brute strength but of disposition and emotions. If she survived a brutal attack, she can handle sharing her vein with you and she most definitely would have no problem telling you when you’ve had more than your share so you needn’t worry there.

I think she needs to feed you as much as she needed your vein, Jagger. Trust me on this, hers is not a life like your mother’s but it is also not a life of a standard female vampire either...she’s not of the higher class, has never attended a Glymera ball and she has her own family issues buried deep that she hides away the way you have been.

Jagger:

-I had always flinched at the touch of others, save for my mother and now… Lassiter. I didn’t know if it was that angel mojo and the warmth that seeped under my skin when his hands covered mine, but it definitely was a trip to not want to tuck tail and bolt out of the joint. He’d opened me right up, flattening the spine of my book to get at the pages in the middle, right to the heart of things after skipping the intro.

Holy fuck, this day was strange. I didn’t feel like myself, but I was actually in my rawest state, baring a side of me that I’d kept on lockdown. I’d done it without a second thought with someone I’d only just met. The focus on me was suddenly too much and I was hovering over the panic button, when his words gave me something to sink teeth into, a nice piece of marbled meat that fed my need for distraction, and just like that it all snapped into place.

He was too right about Ambellina. Aside from the accessory info about her own buried treasures, what he stated was plain for even me to see… she was undeniably strong, delicate in stature but ferocious in nature.

The night she’d survived by a thin inch was not something she would be able to let go of without ahvenging the horrors she had been subjected to. My jaw clenched at the thought of the nightmare she had lived and the monstrous male who had inflicted the suffering. Lassiter had been right about that too, she wasn’t going to stand down and let anyone serve up the dessert that needed shoved down Rhancid’s throat.

So I couldn’t rip the filth to shreds without depriving Ambellina of what she deserved, but I could do something.

I could protect her… in the way I’d never been capable of with my mother. I could keep her safe so that other females would avoid the fate that had befallen her. I could make sure this Rhancid, never, ever inflicted these bloodied memories on another.

And to do that I couldn’t be… weak.

Lassiter was going to get his gold star, too. Fuck if he didn’t work for it. Like a skilled thief, he’d rotated my dial in perfect sequence, opening the vault that held the resolution.  I hooked my thumbs around his, subconsciously worried that a break in the contact would have me losing my nerve. My eyes held his, too.-

I will take her vein.

-Yeah. It wasn’t much to go on and I was sure that my scant details left Lassiter wanting, but if I started explaining myself, I might end up confessing to the guy that it was only until she had her peace, that this wasn’t a forever thing. Once Ambellina was safe my purpose would be done. After all, there really was nothing else holding me to this life. Nothing and no one.-

Ambellina: ~The quiet kindness Jagger had displayed was not lost on me. It smelled slightly of pity to me, and stung my still open but slowly healing wounds. I must be looking atrocious so it was no wonder the male refused my vein. Cleaning up was most definitely a good idea, mayhap I could salvage my appearance with a washcloth and soap, rid my skin and hair of the blood and dirt I could feel had dried and stained my usual pristine appearance. Likely, he wouldn’t be able to get my wretched first impression out of his mind so I had my work cut out for me. I purposely avoided looking in the mirror while he showed me around then whispered a soft thank you before he made a swift exit, further evidence of how awful I must look. Carefully, I removed my beloved compact from my pocket and set it on the countertop then began to unbutton my coat, letting it fall off my shoulders to pool in a heap at my feet. My shirt and jeans followed behind in a similar fashion, immediately forgotten as soon as they hit the floor. Movement hurt but I knew I’d be fine in time. My ego however, it was severely wounded and would take a lot more than a feeding to recover from both the knowledge of being bested by Rhancid and rejected by Jagger. With a sigh, I moved over to the claw foot tub and twisted the taps to let the water begin to fill, wanting it the hottest it could go which was all the better to wash my failures away. Sadly, my desperate avoidance had come to an end. I looked down at my body, bruises lingered on my arms and my hands looked ragged while my nails had blood and skin stuck beneath the ones I hadn’t broken. At least I had put up as much of a fight as I had been able to. I forced my eyes to lift to look at my reflection in the mirror and when I did, I flinched.~ Oh, sweet Virgin Scribe. How...? How did I possibly survive this? I should be in the Fade right now, without a doubt. ~Cautiously my fingers lifted to the wounds at my neck, they shook as I leaned toward the mirror to get a closer look. I could see every single fang piercing Rhancid had been certain to leave behind. He hadn’t been cautious or careful, no, he very clearly had been intent on ravaging my vein. A punishment for having stabbed him in the thigh, no doubt. The crimson stains of my blood stood out in stark contrast to my pale skin, and I looked like I had suffered a vicious animal attack.

My vision grew fuzzy and in a blink, it cleared as a couple of tears slid down my swollen and puffy cheeks. Immediately and with a desperate roughness, I wiped them away out of fear that even the smallest amount of salt in a few errant tears would leave me with a permanent and lifelong reminder of my failure. Not only that but it would absolutely detract from my appearance which as vain as it sounded, would undoubtedly decrease from the amount I could charge my clients. I wasn’t a fool to think they chose me ONLY for the flavour and potency of my blood...my looks were a huge component to the bottom line. Anger returned in a flash as more tears poured down my cheeks without my permission. Traitors. Every single one of them. Ambellina Newo was not this weak, emotional female I saw reflected back at me in the mirror, I had left her behind decades ago when my Mahmen had passed. Nor was she the female with a swollen, purple eye and a too large cut running through her eyebrow. More wiping at my eyes followed removal of my undergarments and continued on as I moved to turn off the taps and still as I stepped into the tub. While the heat of the water seeped into my skin, warming me in a way I needed more than I realized, tears continued to pour silently down my cheeks. I resigned myself to allowing the emotions to purge no matter how strongly I wished to reject the fact that I was hurt and upset and very much feeling vulnerable.~

Lassiter:

<I could feel Jagger’s decision had been made the moment his thumbs hooked around mine, but to what extent, I was still waiting to hear. He didn’t disappoint with those handful of words agreeing to take Blondie’s vein. Relief washed over me in a torrent but it was quickly replaced with hesitation and uncertainty, there was an unspoken caveat to his agreement. I could see it in the determination that filled his eyes.

Jagger was very clearly decided within his own mind and I was aching to push my way into his mind to have a look see what I was going to be dealing with next, but instead of giving into that urge, I broke my eyes from his and looked toward the ceiling and whispered quietly through a sigh, showing my acceptance of his few words with a pair of my own. Baby steps. I could work with that, no problem.> Thank you.

<My hands continued to squeeze his as I delivered the healing warmth, hoping it would help knit back together the damage his piece of shit father had done, though I suspected it would take a lot more than that to have him wanting to remain on God’s great earth for his own reasons and not just because I had asked him to help another. When further blood exchange had happened and Blondie was safely on her way home, that would become my self-initiated work.

There were still too many hours to get through before I could focus on that so I mentally shelved my plan and chose another one, hoping to offer a simple distraction that could add to Blondie’s healing when she emerged from the bathroom.> So, what sort of food do you have in this place, mind if I take a look around the kitchen?

<Lifting up from the coffee table, I kept one of Jagger’s hands in mine and tugged him along as I made my way in that direction without waiting for permission. On our way, I paused long enough to pick up the fallen bottle that had been left forgotten on the floor and set it on the counter. Giving Jagger’s hand a firm squeeze and a stronger dose of warmth, I felt the loss of contact immediately after letting go. It had me taking a brief pause to evaluate but not long enough to have myself looking lost when our change in location was at my suggestion.

Flashing Jagger a grin, I got busy rummaging through the fridge and cupboards to see what I could work with, taking a few things out and setting them on the counter next to the stove before looking back at him.> Are you much of a breakfast person?

Jagger:

-I answered Lassiter with a quick shake of my head and I didn’t second guess it when he kept hold of my hand, successfully helping to peel my ass off the couch. I couldn’t get enough of that soothing warmth transmitting from his hand to mine. It was unspoken comfort, but what it said without words could have filled bookshelves. I may have lost my taste for the future, but what nobody could see is that I didn’t have a death wish.

Sure, I had never been much for physical contact, but damn if I was going to let go of his hand when instinct was telling me to hold on. As fleeting as my existence may be, I didn’t take shit for granted and that I liked what was doing didn’t escape me. If I never saw Lassiter again after night came to end this sequester, I wouldn’t forget this, that for a blink of time, I enjoyed another’s company and I wasn’t anxious for it to be done. I couldn’t ignore my self-inflicted wound and the internal wince at the thought of this being the first and last time I might see the guy and when he let go of my hand to pick up my discarded bottle, the loss of warmth was immediate and the strangest fucking thing happened. A word broadcasted through my scattered head out of nowhere and without explanation, leaving behind all kinds of residual that translated physically. Shivers up the spine. Sweaty palms. Thick swallows. Pounding heart. My mouth stayed shut up tight, my lips boarded up better than the house the dimwits in horror flicks categorically failed to avoid. I raked my hand over my head to no ease, thankful Lassiter hadn’t seemed to notice as he combed through the kitchen. That grin he flashed worked like a life preserver, rescuing me from the tidal wave of thoughts and feelings I didn’t understand.-

Hell yeah, I’m a breakfast person. -He couldn’t have known, or maybe he did, but breakfast or first meal as my father had called it, was time I always got to share with my mom alone. Lazy and spent from ugly deeds, Rhuin never appeared until long after the shutters had raised. It was the quietest time in our house, topped only by the times he was away - but even those instances were weighed down knowing we were safe, but that others weren’t. Walking over to Lassiter, I had the drive to get in on the menu and further out of the trappings of my head.-

You? And what about Ambellina? Think she’ll have an appetite?

Lassiter:

<Jagger was a breakfast person. Well. Hello little golden nugget of info I wasn’t expecting. My grin widened at him as I nodded to his question.> I’m an anything that has to do with shoving things that taste good in my trap sort of guy. <Chuckling quietly, I found myself appreciating the ease that befell us in the wake of all the heavy we had been dealing with, I returned to the fridge and pulled a few more things out. Milk. Eggs. Butter. I was impressed the bachelor type like Jagger had fresh shit in his house, especially given the bottle he had so obviously been nursing upon our arrival. Ambellina...Blondie...I wasn’t sure what kind of appetite she would have once she was done cleaning up so I offered a shrug before I started cracking some eggs in a bowl, adding milk into the mix.> Bread...and what’s that fancy shit Fritz is always so excited about? <talking more to myself than anything, I shoved my hand into Jagger’s cupboard and got lucky when my fingers wrapped around the jar.> Cinnamon.

<While my hands worked, I grinned as Jagger moved in beside me to help.> I really couldn’t tell you if she will be hungry, I’m guessing she’s the type who’d decline if she knew she could be gone in short time, but since we’re all here until the sun goes to bed...I bet she’ll indulge. You vamp types can pack the calories in, even when you’ve had your blood needs met, at least that’s been my observation at the manse.

<Effortlessly we fell into a French toast assembly line, me with the mixing and dunking the bread while Jagger manned the frying pan, flipping and piling them high. I wasn’t sure just how much he’d eat, but when we had damn near cooked an entire loaf of bread, I called us good and set the messy dishes next to the sink before looking in the direction of the hall. The moment of shared domestication gave me a feeling I had yet to experience at the manse...and one that I hadn’t expected when I pounded on Jagger’s door. Comfortable ease. I wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with this kind of feeling, it had just been a few hot minutes since I’d experienced it with another being, yet, here I was feeling it with Jagger in the most casual of ways. There was no unspoken animosity or bad blood that jacked up the tension in the air. No lingering self-created pressure to do more to please the Creator. I felt like I could unstrap my responsibilities for the time being and breathe without all of its invisible weight pressing down on my chest.

Freedom. It was French toast in a tiny kitchen, standing opposite a guy I’d met only an hour ago.> I think we could probably start without her while it’s hot, yeah?

Jagger:

-If a week ago anyone had told me I’d be standing in my kitchen, making French toast with an angel post feeding a female who was now in my bathtub, I’d bet the house against the prediction.

But here I was.

Lassiter was so different than any male I’d ever encountered, not that all were painted with the same brush as my predecessor. The angel had a casualness about him, an ease that invited me in and then hosted a take over of my inherent stoicism. Hell, that had been in hours, who knew what prolonged exposure would do.

That’s where my thoughts went as I watched him crack eggs in a way that would make Gordon Ramsay yell but made me grin. I sort of felt like I had a rockstar in my kitchen, but I wasn’t a groupie… I was more like the right hand man.

Funny how frying up some French toast could provoke such thought.

I hit the oven up, warming it to two hundred degrees, sticking a few slices on a plate and popping them in, in the case Ambellina would take us up on food. I split the rest between two plates and the pure maple syrup got thirty seconds in the micro. It seemed Lassiter was on the same wavelength again…-

Yeah, can’t let all the fancy cinnamon go cold. -I couldn’t help the slight grin that hit my lips, even though my attempt at humor was likely lacking, and that self-eval rolled into a why-the-hell-do-you-care moment.

Before I could go into all kinds of Dr. Phil on myself, I grabbed up the plates, setting them down on the table that had hosted a party of one for more than a decade before I hit up the microwave for the syrup. Damn… what a trip. And one a part of me didn’t want to end.-

Ambellina:

Fuck. Fuck.

I was about to fall into the abyss but then Lassiter’s words pulled me back up for air. There was something in his tone that had me at attention, it held command but the undercurrent was soothing.

Angel Mojo for a thousand, Alex.

I listened to what he said, even though I’d heard it before, but this time the words started to take root. The seeds of doubt had been planted, watered, fertilized and been exposed to a hearty dose of Vitamin D when it came to thoughts on my blood. My eyes closed without my permission but only in brief when Lassiter brushed over the spot he had healed with that suffusing warmth, and then without explanation, he took me into his arms. His whispered words brought back those things I had just shut down when I was ass to grass.

I had helped him. Maybe it wasn’t as weighted as I’d first imagined it to be, but only a fool would think a short exchange could make up for decades of damage due to daddy’s rejection.

Was there hope for more of that in life if I stuck around on this rotating sphere in the sky?

Let’s not go that far, Jagger.    

I nearly forgot I was in his arms until he snapped back to go-mode, releasing me then indicating he was about to head into the house. When he disappeared, my thoughts roamed over our entire exchange. I was confounded by my own responses to him, not really getting why I submitted so easily to the physical advances, when normally...

Right. Not normal.

I made sure my wits were firmly planted in my shitkickers before making my own return to the house after a bit. One way or another, things were about to be laid bare in black and white.  The oddest thing striking me before I walked in the door.

I wanted Lassiter to be right.-

Ambellina:

~So much happened in but a few moments, I found I was unable to keep up with the weight of it all as my mental faculties continued to come back online. In the time it took me to push myself to an upright position on the couch I had been placed upon, many more things happened. The male vampire whose blood the flavour of dark chocolate still lingered upon mine lips and tongue began to lose his own mind while the other with WINGS?! was yelling for me to reassure him. I wasn’t sure how and frankly, it was all too much for someone in my current state. I needed processing time. I opened my mouth to say as much but all that came out was a weak excuse of a croak, further displaying my current bout of incompetence.~ I… I’m sorry. I need...

~As I struggled to speak, time for processing came to me without having requested it when the male I realized was called Jagger abruptly left the house. A bright stream of sunlight poured inside only briefly but it landed directly in the spot my head had laid only moments ago. The astonished angel followed Jagger outside, slamming the door shut behind him. Is that what he was? I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms in an attempt to scrub away the cobwebs. That’s when the panic of what had just happened before my eyes registered. Had Jagger just taken his own life?! Certainly not. I hoped. The strength his blood afforded to my battered body sung within my veins and I could feel he remained very much alive just on the other side of the door. How blessed by the Scribe Virgin he was to be capable of daywalking.

A pang of jealousy rose up, but not for long. Realization slammed into me like Rhancid had when he took me down in that hotel. I hadn’t checked in... with either Ghiselle nor my doggen. Both parties would be worried by now, undeniably. I needed to call them immediately. Shaky hands dug into the pockets of my overcoat, searching for my cell phone. All I could find was my beloved ornate compact, and I didn’t dare open it to see the state my appearance was in. Absolutely not. I could feel I was far worse for wear.

In the other pocket, the card Ghiselle had given me with Jagger’s name and address written in her loopy cursive was staring up at me. What a twist of fate things had turned into. I didn’t know a single Jagger Rhuin which I reasoned the one of the card was the same who had saved my life. That only meant his blood sacrifice had put him in even more of a defect if Ghiselle’s friend had given her the correct information about him refusing to feed. And I had taken from him. Far too much.~

Oh, Scribe Virgin in the fade...what have I done?!

~Panic rose and bile burned my throat as I dry heaved under the weight of the situation. All the while, anger continued to boil my insides. All of this could have been prevented if I had only succeeded at doling out my revenge. Failure had never been something I allowed to be associated with myself. But that would be my burden to bear moving forward. Correcting my mistakes would start in the now.

Just as I managed to get a grip of all that had happened the angel reappeared as if he could dematerialize. Time to show him exactly who Ambellina Newo was, my first impression was not what I’d prefer so the second was going to have to make due. On weak legs, I stood and lifted my chin, finally finding my voice.~ He needs to feed. Jagger. The card in my pocket...I sell my blood...he needs to feed! ~Stuttering thoughts and incomplete sentences was not something I had ever been accustomed to displaying so the second attempt at a good impression wasn’t up to par however, the winged male fortunately seemed to pick up on what I was trying to get across.~

Lassiter:

<As I reformed inside Jagger’s house, the female still appeared weak despite the blood she had taken from Jagger. Her determination when she spoke and the effort it appeared to take for her to get vertical was admirable and helped to tamp down the irate lecture I had prepared only moments ago. Thankfully, while I had been outside dealing with Jagger she apparently found her wits as well. Small miracles, they were a real thing.

Early celebrating was cut off by some holy shit news when she shared what she did for a living and that Jagger needed to feed. I didn’t know all that much about how the whole vamp feeding business worked so I nodded to appease her and assumed she was simply referring to his loss at having saved her. In my mind, I had a bigger Big Mac to fry up and spoke quickly to her before Jagger joined us, more concerned over the apology she needed to make.> Look, he thinks his blood was foul and rancid as you called it. You need to tell him-

<My words cut off as Jagger opened the door and immediately a silence filled the triangle of space between us for only a couple of seconds, just long enough for what I hoped the female needed to realize what I had been trying to convey to her but could no longer finish saying. I nudged her in his direction with my wing, nodding in encouragement and praying silently that she was able to correct the damage her careless words had caused earlier.> Jagger, Blondie has something to tell you.

Jagger

-The scene had changed again. Same players. Same set. Whole different act. The female was upright and they both had been talking before I came in the door but promptly shut up on my entry.

Strategizing session over.

She definitely looked better, albeit wobbly, and on cue I was hit with a wave of my own dizziness to mirror her unsteady.

Shit.

Shrugging off my own sitch, I took long strides over to her, bypassing Lassiter because I was worried she wasn’t long for the vertical world. Seeing her like that was too reminiscent of my mother and the countless times she had relied on my aid, though she fought against it heartily. She never wanted the appearance of being weak or reliant, and I had learned to accommodate that. This was some kind of déjà-screw-you because I’d tried my best to forget those times, focusing instead on the better shades of my past with her. This female, though, she was a living, breathing flashback with all of her willowy beauty and the colors of fading bruises that marred her otherwise flawless skin. Too many times I had bore witness to the evidence of my father’s temper. Too many times I cursed my physical inability to confront him and protect my mother. My only solace was found in helping her and the desire to do so with this female welled from those same depths, the ones personal experience had fostered.  I did my damndest to remain unimposing while I loomed next to her then spoke quietly between the three of us.-

Please. Sit. Please. -I breathed a sigh of relief when she relented without putting up a fight, but there was a telling flicker in her eyes to give the impression she’d thought about resistance.-

Tell me your name? Unless it’s actually Blondie, in which case we may have something in common.

-Where’d that come from? I’d never been one to make myself relatable or quip.  I shot a glance Lassiter’s way, completely convinced it was the short time in which we’d been hanging out that I’d picked it up. Kneeling down, my gaze landed back on the female, giving her the chance to say what she had to say. I hoped like hell I could stomach the repercussions of saving her life.-

Ambellina:

~Dread and upset had taken up residence within my stomach, replacing the bile that had previously moved out. How could I not realize the mistake I had made. Granted, at the time I was only just coming back to awareness and I was simply speaking that which was fresh upon my mind, however, I had insulted the male who had saved mine life. As Ghiselle called it, I had plenty of damage control to do, and in a bad way, particularly if I was going to be able to convince this same male to allow me to return the favour of my vein.

I had my work cut out for me. I had not a clue where to start fortunately, the angel seemed to pick up on my delay and nudged me toward Jagger, he in turn guided me back to the couch asking that I sit. All the places I could have been back in control and correcting my missteps were a fail.

Jagger’s question and subsequent joke were what snapped me back from the spiralling mess of self-critique and back into the present. Back to where I could have another chance at returning to the Ambellina Newo I had carefully crafted over the years. As he knelt in front of me and the angel kept a safe distance, I assumed to not impose, I straightened my spine and held my head high while cautiously brushing my matted and dirty hair from my face. I refused to wince when my fingers ran over a particularly painful bruise at my eye and found myself grateful Jagger’s blood had begun to help the swelling enough that I could see his face through both eyes. I didn’t dare to let my fingers dip lower to the bite mark that still smarted on my throat.

Closer inspection clued me into the uncertainty of the situation that he was trying so very hard to not get lost in. Boy wasn’t he right in us having something in common. A weak laugh bubbled up at that thought before I got back on track. Time to do what I did best, take control.~ No, that is not my name. ~My eyes darted over to the angel only for but a second so that he knew the nickname had been accepted, begrudgingly.~

My name is Ambellina Newo. And your blood is in no way rancid. It was quite the opposite and rather hearty for someone who hasn’t fed in quite some time. ~My brow lifted knowingly before continuing on to explain, hoping he wouldn’t feel so bad when I was finished.~

The male who attacked me. Rhancid. That is his name. I had gone to his hotel to… it matters not. ~My head shook to rid the images that flashed behind closed lids.~ Things went bad then he got the upper hand and...I am not sure how but, here I am. You have saved me from the Fade and I will forever be grateful to your blood sacrifice, especially for someone you did not know. I wish to repay my debt. Please, allow me. ~my gaze dropped down to my wrist where I began to push back the sleeve of my coat, lifting it in offering to Jagger.~

Jagger

-It took her a minute but then she spoke, giving up the name. It was a damn good fit for her. Ambellina Newo. Strong but something delicate lurking under the smooth and refined surface. Even with the marks that looked like she'd been bested but only after exhausting every round in the ring, she was poised. Porcelain personified. Everything else rolled down like an avalanche. Relief like a cold splash of water to the face when she said my blood wasn't rancid and...other things that I shrugged off as circumstantial considering the taste of death she'd had. Amusement at her raised brow, clearly an "I've got your number" kind of thing, but she didn't know I'd already figured that one. She also didn't know that I'd gotten Lassiter's own version several times over. All it took were leading words of "the male who attacked me," for the world to flip on its axis. The shift was rapid. Anger searing through my veins in the form of boiling blood. Her elegant tone poured past her lips, recounting a few details undeserving of her manner of speaking. Rhancid. I shot Lassiter a look meant to be one of concession to his assumption. He earned whatever ego pump it gave him. No time to celebrate relief. Nope. The momentary sample was swallowed up by hearing that she had been savagely attacked. I didn't give one flying fuck what she'd been there for. No female should have that to pen into their memories. None. My growl was unintended but offered up its presence anyway. The male deserved death served up cold. Slow. Merciless. I registered an ache in my knuckles only to look down and... Hello fist. Relief. Amusement. Anger. But she wasn't done yet. Before there was any time for me to launch into any kind of demanding more so I could find the piece of shit, she was onto her gratitude and wanting to return the favor. Panic. I recoiled from her wrist before she had even pulled up the curtain. She intend to put an end to my steady diet of nothing. I scurried backwards, stuttering as I tried to find words and came up fail.- I can't... Thank you, Ambellina, for your gracious offer. But I can't. -I didn't dare look over at the angel. My blood wasn't rancid...but that didn't fix the fuck ton of history that I was saddled with. Mine all mine. I couldn't do this. Not now, maybe not ever.-

Ambellina:

~Jagger’s reaction came as a surprise to me, his fierce anger and accompanying growl was a match to that of mine own only days ago after I had left that horrific night where Rhancid tried to use me as arm candy. It was interesting that he took such immediate offence on my behalf when he didn’t even know me. My eyes darted over to the angel who happened to be staring at a space between Jagger and myself, a look of something akin to what I could only guess as hesitant surprise. I followed the path of his gaze to find Jagger’s fists were clenched so tight his knuckles had lost all blood flow and were a white comparable to the angel’s eyes.

Then things fell apart. I offered my wrist and he fell back, trying to get away from me faster than the Glymera disowned a female who was past her mating prime. Insult felt heavy in my stomach along with confusion. I was unused to this brand of rejection. My bloodline was strong and while that was still my secret, I was the one all the males sought out to feed from.

Sure, I wasn’t looking my usual pristine. Perhaps Jagger had a shower I could borrow to help with that and wash away the scent of Rhancid on my skin. Maybe then my offer wouldn’t be as offensive as Jagger was making it out to be.

After collecting my thoughts and clearing my throat,

I dropped my hand that remained still hanging in the air between us back into my lap. My voice was soft but not without conviction.~ You can’t? I do not understand. I am not accustomed to being declined and I realize I’m not in my best state currently. Perhaps I can use your restroom to freshen up?

~I smoothed my hands over my coat, trying to straighten it on my shoulders then attempted to help the lost cause of my matted and blood-stained hair before looking to the angel for help. Why was he so quiet when only moments ago he had no problem telling me exactly what I needed to do. When it was clear he wasn’t coming to my rescue again, I chalked it up to having used my single Saved-by-an-Angel card. Sighing in exhaustion, I looked back over at Jagger.~ No need to escort me. I can find the facilities myself.

Jagger:

-Freshen up, yes! That would buy me some minutes to condense my family history, package it up and present it in a way she’d understand. The pang of confusion on Ambellina’s face was clearly laced with hurt of some variety. I hadn’t meant to offend. The male population was really serving up this female and not in the way she deserved.

Scrambling again, this time to my feet, my strides were quick, while I untied my tongue in an effort to do some damage control.-

Ambellina I-- meant no offense. It is not your appearance, it’s not you. I’m just not worthy of the vein. Not yours, not any female’s. My bloodline… is no good.

I’ll explain… but please, you’ve only just awoken from a nightmare. Would you like a bath? I’ve got a clawfoot in the master. -raising my hand to scrub over the top of my head and back to where tension gathered in my neck, out of my element would be putting it lightly and I didn’t know if the suggestion toed the line of appropriate, bloody hell.-  I could get you a change of clothes, or set you up in one of the guest rooms for some shut eye.

We are on lockdown until the moon rolls in, so we’ve got time.

I was fine to remain trapped within my mind until I felt the warmth of something dripping down the back of my throat. Like a tap that slowly leaked into a sink basin, the liquid pooled until my natural instincts took over and I swallowed it down. Blood. Warm, delicious and desperately needed blood. Thank the Scribe Virgin herself for whomever had saw fit to aid me. The flavour was deep and rich, like a dark chocolate and it felt like a potent salve as it slid down my throat that I had worn raw from screaming for help. Weak sucks and pulls against whatever body part had been placed at my lips happened as my body absorbed the energy afforded to me from the vein I had been so generously offered. Awareness had yet to join my reawakening party but that was quite fine by me, I didn't have the desire to divide my energy nor did I care to figure out just where I was while I took as much as I could swallow down between shallow breaths of air.

Gradually, I felt the shut down parts of my body come back to me. Senses I had lost began to register and my mind worked sluggishly to process any information it could gather. I could smell the blood I was taking in along with the scent of two males, and some kind of liquor albeit that was more muted but continued to linger in the air while hushed voices spoke. I couldn't quite make out what was being said, but relief flooded me at the realization that neither one belonged to the asshole who had tried to suck me straight into the Fade. Despite my weakened state, my mind was the first to return back to a fiery state of anger and when my belly was full and I could feel my wounds begin the arduous task of self-repair, I called it quits on the vein, I had taken plenty enough to recover. I was forever grateful to the owner of that vein and as soon as I was physically able, I would see to it that my blood debt was paid in full and with interest. Until such time, I mentally clung to the hatred I felt at the way my plan had failed. My voice was still raspy as I spit out my malice for the male who had done this to me.~ Rhancid... piece of shit.

Jagger

-I could see what he had referenced in her improvement and I could feel my own vigor had lightened. The effects of my final tap of Haven's vein were all but negligible. Lassiter probably thought I was stone cold stupid for my perceived lack of comprehension. There were no Cliff Notes for my metric ton of baggage. Where in the hell did I even start to explain? Fatigue set it. Mental. Physical. Spiritual. All of the above. Check. My moral elasticity had been tested without warm up, but even with the female looking a lot less like she was about to push some daisies, there was no euphoria that came from saving her life. I wasn't hopeless, in fact it was somewhat miraculous I was on the edge of feeling content with what I'd done. Gave her a chance. And there was something else. There was a foreign twist in my chest and it hit me when I thought about having done right by Lassiter. He'd returned my only possession of sentimental significance and then blew my ever loving mind. That...tenderness he'd exhibited had straight up unlocked a long forgotten door. A place I'd never ventured. The suffering for a male's approval. Fuck. Welcome to the Tilt-A-Whirl, mind. Only a lifetime supply of issues for a ride. I was trying not to freak and on the verge of convincing myself I done the right thing, permanent stain in my DNA and all, when she woke. Within a few fleeting moments she confirmed in a succinct string of words my monstrous fears. Rancid. My blood was rancid. The virulence of my blood had not been lost on a female just coming to. Standing back up, immediately hit with a head rush, my arm shot out and my fist caught some of those feathers on the underside of Lassiter's wing. I tried to steady my watery vision to find those eyes of the angel's. I couldn't draw oxygen on my desperate inhales, but I forced out my plea.- Heal her! Rancid... It's rancid! I'm begging you. I can't die knowing I ruined her! -And there it was, the origin of my name, played out in my raw reaction. I was living up to the legend, no matter how hard I'd fought to deter the binds of my bloodline.-

Lassiter:

<Both brows shot up and did a mingling act amongst my multi-colour hair when the female finally spoke. And of course she couldn't be like any other creature just coming to after a near death experience. She had quite the silver tongue. Wasn't she supposed to have a case of the where-am-Is and what-happeneds?

I guess not. What's worse was that suddenly my comrade in life saving arms had heard her choice words and was hosting himself a shit show. That was rather unexpected, too. What the fuck was with vampires tonight? I was at a loss.

Before I could ask these two all the WTFs he shot up like a jack in the box and took a serious sway before attempting to grab ahold of my wing. My arms reached out to help steady Jagger as my white eyes looked at him with concern. His yelling wasn't unfounded and for once I wished I had Dr. Phil’s personal number so I could get some solid advice on how to diffuse this situation.

Both hands grasped at Jagger’s biceps, squeezing hard enough to stop his freak out and have him pay attention to me. I kept my voice level and soothing, hoping it would only serve to keep him from a full on panic attack.>

Hey. Listen to me. There is no way she's talking about your blood. If it was rancid do you think she would be able to speak right now?! No. She’d still be mute and waiting for death to open the door. Now, if it was my blood she drank, I could see her saying something like that because while I may be a servant of God, I offer zero nutritional value to a vampire and drinking my blood is like eating candy. <I broke eye contact from Jagger to look down at the female, sending her a proper chastising glare for her poor choice of words as I continued to speak.> Isn't that right, Blondie? Tell Jagger you weren't speaking about him.

Jagger

-Those strong hands came around my arms but the vice grip did a whole lot of nothing to stop the spin of my mind, heart and fractured soul. Lassiter’s words made their way into the noggin but ended up on puree with the rest of the contents in my blender, the only thing ringing clear was the word rancid. The culmination of my greatest fears had arrived and the walls were closing in. A part of me wanted to collapse into the angel, my gut telling me he could handle the burden, but the phantom threat of suffocation materialized with a toothy smile and a mean bite.

Last I checked, oxygen was critical to survival and I still couldn’t breathe. Judging by the gallop of my heart, I wasn’t dead yet but if I didn’t escape the straightjacket of my destiny, I was going to expire… Here lies Jagger, daddy’s shame, half breed, pretty boy scum. I didn’t want to be him and yet I couldn’t escape the injury his words and rejection had inflicted.

A surge of adrenaline had me ripping free of Lassiter’s hold and I couldn’t look at the female or verbalize any kind of explanation to him before I bolted like a bull out of the pen. There was only one way I could go and it was out where there were no walls. I was conscious when opening up the door not to let it idle, closing it behind me despite how things were fraying far beyond the edges.. No matter the obscenity of my blood running through her veins I wouldn’t subject the female to involuntary manslaughter via a bath of sunbeams. Lassiter would heal her of the filth that had been her savior. He had to.

He -HAD- to.  

I collapsed to my knees after clearing the steps of my home, hyperventilating and squinting against the brightness of daylight. Everything I feared about myself been confirmed in the turn of a night. I couldn’t deal with anymore of my birthright coming to fruition but in some mind fuck, side effect of “saving” the female’s life, I had been less willing to walk away from my own. This was an deviation to what seemed a solid plan. The outlaw called will planted his ass at the bar of my fate and the stubborn bastard didn’t seem in a hurry to make any exit.

I worried my mother’s cross between my finger and thumb, praying for enlightenment, wanting the steadiness and security from it she’d brought to me in her too-short life. I came up empty, save for the realization that I was doomed to serve out my sentence of solitary confinement in the wasteland of my father’s depravity.-

Lassiter:

<My reflexes were slow with my attention zeroed in on the female, waiting impatiently for her to reassure Jagger to the point that when he tore himself free of my hold, I was useless to stop him. When he charged toward the front door, I had assumed he was pulling a me with a pacing routine but was proven wrong when his hand gripped the handle and he swung it open. Was he on fucking a suicide mission?!>

JAGGER?! What the fuck!

<I was shocked at the care he took to make sure the door was closed just as quickly as he had opened it and in an effort to ensure his safety, I vanished myself to the other side of it lest I put the female we had JUST saved at further risk. I was confident she wasn’t going anywhere and since she had been useless in reassuring him, she could sit tight where she was. My jaw dropped slightly when I didn’t find a pile of flaming vampire ash, but instead, the guy on his knees in the grass with his hand clutched tightly to the cross I had only returned to him less than thirty minutes ago.

At this point, I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do, this entire night, and now day had gone straight to hell and was hanging out with Devina and her wall of greasy trapped souls. As I stepped up behind Jagger, my hand fell to his shoulder and I gave it a firm squeeze, showing him my silent support before dropping down next to him. I waited a few moments for him to say something and when he didn’t, I filled the silence for him.> So...you can hang in the sun, eh?

Jagger

-It was shortly after I’d sucked in the sunshine via heavy pants that I heard the loud call of my name courtesy of Lassiter. I swallowed thickly, my brows pinching together while emotions went cyclone. In one utterance of my name there was desperation, disbelief, anger and… concern, a chord of emotions from a near stranger. Was that an angel thing? I tried to process how this dude I just met could be worried for me and became overwhelmed. To the male who held responsibility for half my DNA I had been a stain, unwanted, someone to discard or destroy. I kept swallowing, my eyes dropping closed when Lassiter’s hand gripped my shoulder, that squeeze like his earlier approval, fulfilling something I’d never known I’d needed, bandaging unseen wounds though I didn’t get how.

And then... he didn’t abandon me, instead popping a squat right next to me, dispelling all expectations I had been conditioned to. I ran a hand through my hair because my worry needed some kind of outlet then glanced to the side just as he asked about the sun on the tail end of a sigh. Was that relief? Another shocker. Yeah, his features were washed with relief and salt stung at the corner of my eyes because it stirred something buried way deep.

Fuck. Was this like Highway to Heaven, the vampire reality version?

Lassiter was rocking a hell of a lot more swagger and was easier on the eyes than Jonathan.

Shaking myself, taken aback by my own thought that shot through my mind like an arrow out of nowhere. Where was all this coming from? Blood loss? True insanity? Some sort of weird mind-numbing effect so I wouldn’t remember him when he was gone?

Hello chest pang.

Weird.

Maybe I really was losing it.

I scrubbed my hand over my face, hoping that it would work like some kind of off switch, but, yeah… nope. Trying to put chaos into order was only feeding the internal anarchy. I concentrated my effort on forcing myself out of the catatonic shell Lassiter was dealing with, muttering a few words.-

Yeah, you’re the first to sound pleased about it.

Lassiter:

<My ability to be patient as I waited out any kind of answer from Jagger must have been fueled exclusively by the exhaustion I could feel settling deep in my body. I was grateful for the time he needed to work through what I thought was a very simple question, because in those long moments of silence, I absorbed as much of the sun’s rays as I could. My wings fanned out in a wide stretch behind me, creating as much surface area as possible to recharge my energy because it was becoming clear very quickly I would not be seeing my bed and pillow any time soon. Nor would I be enjoying a Big Mac like I had wanted, nope. I had a couple of vamps with their super sized issues to chew through first. No doubt the two of them were bound to give me a case of indigestion from all the stress.

As my skin warmed under the heat of the sun and while I normally took great pleasure in the relaxation it brought me, I couldn’t take my eyes off the emotions displayed on Jagger’s face as he worked to find an answer for me. When he finally spoke, I had a hard time masking my surprise.>

Dude. Of course I’m pleased you’re not a smoking pile of ashes right now. The Bossman would have both my wings and halo if I failed now. Especially after all the shit that has gone down tonight. <I pushed both hands through my long multi-coloured hair, tugging on the ends and muttered a few equally colourful curses under my breath.> First the car wreck I had to redirect, then the female beginning her transition and the male who had to be convinced to help her. Followed by that one in there getting dumped in an alley by that limping cocksucker…and now you on a damn suicide mission. Fuck. This is what I get for bitching about being bored. Point taken, God. You win this round.

<My shoulders felt tight with recounting the stress of my night and just like I always did when worked up over a situation, I rose to my feet, toed off my vans and socks and began to pace. The cool, dewy blades of grass felt underfoot was different from the plush woven threads of the fancy-ass rugs in the hall of statues but the textures and contrast was just what I needed to feel my emotions settle and my head work itself clear. When it did, I stopped in front of Jagger and folded my arms across my chest, ready to get back to work.> You know she wasn’t talking about you, right? I can feel it. You just saved her from death with your vein, there’s no reasonable way she was actually calling YOU rancid. I bet the most valuable thing I own that she wasn’t talking about you, Jagger. Do you think you could go back inside with me so she can explain?

Jagger

-My heart did a little free fall in my chest as realization dawned when Lassiter explained his happiness at my still-breathing routine.

I had been an idiot. Yep. Hook, line and sinker, I’d fallen for the appeal of some kind of personal investment. Desperation was a bitch and I had forty years accrued. I resisted the urge to smack myself on the head for thinking in the turn of a couple of hours I could have actually earned approval for who I was. It was nice for the fifteen minutes it lasted, just to taste what my father had denied me. At least I wouldn’t die without knowing what it felt like. I wouldn’t hold the sins of my father against the angel. He didn’t deserve that shit or my head case on his plate.

But here I was. A job. A mission. Or whatever it was God doled out. My brain was far too scrambled to deal with technicalities. What was worse was the fact that I was someone’s punishment. Way to make a list, Jagger.

I kept the surging emotions locked up nice and tight, vacuum sealing them with an inhale before Lassiter stopped in front of me, rays of sun fanning out behind him. He wore the exhaustion of his eventful night in those moonlit irises of his, rimmed with the faintest tint of blue. When they locked onto mine, it was as if they held me physically in place. Despite the figurative smack to the head that came along with the realization I’d fantasized his acceptance, his barefoot pacing and disclosure of his own shit night worked like a rope I could use to pull myself out of the hole of my wallowing. It was time to hold onto my balls and prepare to deal with whatever the female inside had to say. I nodded.-

I’m willing to hear her out, but you’ve gotta promise me that if it’s my blood that’s rancid you’re going to do right by her, heal her like you did my face.

-I swallowed hard, because apparently stating that out loud made me feel something again. Christ… my night had been as fucked as Lassiter’s own. First with Assail and his bulldogs and then with all this. The sooner we got it all over with, the better. For both of us.-

Lassiter:

<Jagger’s easy agreement to my request had my hand shooting out in an offer to help him up, not wanting him to have any second thoughts or to decline me the way he initially had when I asked him to help save the broken female. As he put his palm in mine and I squeezed it to help him up, a bevy of feelings travelled up my arm. It wasn’t intentional and felt similarly to how the memories of his cross hit me, along with his feelings came the distant echoes of his past, trying to catch up like the slowest runner in a marathon. Resignation, disappointment, longing, upset and worthlessness were all rolled up in a nice neat package, topped with a bright shiny bow of rejection. Hello, complication.

My brows knit together as I gave Jagger a long, assessing look. How the fuck could one person host all those feelings? Keeping ahold of his hand, I stood firm where I was and zeroed my eyes on his, conviction shining bright as my voice came out low and full of authority.>

I have no idea why you’re feeling the way you are or why you seem to think there is something wrong with your blood, but I promise you that’s not the case. You wouldn’t have been able to save her as quickly as you had if it was lacking in any way. Just like I healed your face… <My free hand lifted to the spot Jagger had been busted open, fingertips brushing over his skin oh so lightly but enough that I could push my way into the shallows of his thoughts. Maybe I was cheating by using my powers or perhaps even padding the deck in my favour but I needed to get a leg up on the insight his touch had inadvertently offered me. What filled the big screen of my mind had me shaking my head and pulling the guy in for a strong armed hug, whispering low in his ear.>

I’m sorry you’ve had a shit show of a night, too, my friend. You have no idea how grateful I am for how you helped in a way I couldn’t.