calamity's embrace.

ursula’s jaw is on the table. words rush to the surface, but lose themselves in her raging stupor, tangling on her tongue before they can make their way out of her mouth. god. fuck you. really. DQ. she wants to scream. she only sobs.

“well,” zoey says, breaking the silence, “that…certainly was a statement.”

“it sure was!” tobias sports a broad grin. “10/10 on originality, for sure. the daring. the excitement. the passion! the risk! you’re the only one here brave enough to get on up on our table and take out your feelings onstage. as for your aesthetic, you had some very clever callbacks to your previous performances--though i do think that if you wanted to make this as extra as the lyrics, you could have gone way further. 5/10. lastly, for your adherence to theme, everything you did was the perfect encapsulation of a burning grudge. for that, i give you a solid 10/10. you got a 25/30 from me, then. great work!”

“i agree with tobias,” zoey says. “though i don’t approve of jumping on the judges’ table like that, the rest of the performance was very original in its use of moves, and very, very you. i’m so glad you were finally able to stand up to your former master. 6/10. your aesthetic was also simple, yet effective--and quite bold in the visuals you chose, so for that, i’d give you a 10/10. and as for adherence to theme…well, what can i say? another 10/10. this means your score from me is--”

“wait.” ursula’s voice trembles. she’s done being nice. she’s done holding it all in. “wait just a fucking sec.”

“what is it?”

“Did none of you FUCKING NOTICE…he used his whole performance to INSULT ME?”

“we did. and we don’t care,” tobias says, taking a sip of his hagafen.

“ursula, i’ve already said so many times that i hardly think that should be a consideration in your judging,” zoey sighs.

“OF COURSE IT SHOULBE!” she howls. “Y’MEANIF LIKE EVERY OTHER PERFORMANCESBOUT HATING ME--” hic--“I CAN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING?!”

“you’re exaggerating. there were like, what. two? three? maybe four? that were directed at you. that’s like, only a few out of _____. god, ursula. one would think that if you’d changed as much as you said, you would have grown a spine.”

“BUT HE STOMPED…HE STOMPED ON MY NOTE CARD! HE RIPPED IT UP!” hic! “YOU KNOW WHAT? NESSTIME WE ALL JUDGE, I’M GOING--I’LL--I’LL BRING SOMEONE IN--” hic--“THAT SHITS ALL OVER YOU GUYS!” hic! “BET’CHA WON’T BE SO PRIMNPROPER THEN, WILL YOU?”

“trust me,” tobias deadpans, “there won’t be a next time.”

“ursula, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. you’re not fit to judge right now. please,” zoey says, straining to stay both kind and firm, “get off the stage.”

“I DON’T CARE! I…I…IDONGIVEASHIT! I’ve been shat on…for the LASSFUCKING TIME! By that group chat…By Birdy…By EVERYBODY! AND NOW…BY MY FRIEND? Fabien…” hic. “Yougeta ZERO!”

“on…everything?” murmurs zoey.

“YES! ON EVERYTHING! ZERO!…ZERO! YOU…GET A ZERO!!!”

"ursula, please, reconsider--”

“NO! THATSHIS FINAL SCORE! I…AM…A JUDGE. I CAN SCORE HIM…WHATEVERIWANT!”HIC. “I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND…FABIEN…”

“ursula--”

“you know what,” tobias huffs, “forget it. let’s just go to bonuses. she can’t be talked to right now. and i want to get this right the fuck over with.”

zoey sighs and nods. “good idea. we have to get ursula some help.”

“all right. so,” tobias says, with ursula sobbing into her drink in the background. “you get +15 for using attract, flamethrower and encore, and you get another +5 for using meteor beam to create a valentine’s day color, red, when it usually doesn’t make that color. this brings your total to…”

The lights go down. The music starts to play. A single spotlight opens up onstage, on Ursula in a skimpy crystal bikini, one that looks as though it’s about to burst at the seams of her fake chest and ass…although, given the kind of news she wants to spill, how she managed to stand still long enough for the rest of her to be painted in gold-and-silver glitter is a mystery. She struts forward and swings her hips, as though about to start performing. The Poké Balls clipped to the infinitesimally thin string of each side of her bikini jiggle with her.

And then……

“Cut! Cut!”

She means to say ‘cut the music,’ but in her rage, that’s all that comes out. Meanwhile, Tobias and Zoey come on from backstage, Tobias in a fresh martial arts suit, Zoey in a new figure skate outfit--this time masculine rather than feminine.

“What’s going on?” Zoey says. “Aren’t we doing the closing show?”

“We will,” Ursula says. “Just as soon as I make this announcement!”

Zoey looks at Tobias. Something isn’t right here.

“Ursula, you can announce it after the performance,” he says. “I don’t know what it is, but it can’t be that important.”

“It is that important,” she insists.

“Well, what the heck is it that’s soooooooo important that you want to interrupt your own show like this?” Tobias asks.

“Just let me finish!” she screams.

Zoey shoots her a look, like a mother looking at her disobedient child. “No, Ursula. Get back in your place. It’s not too late to do this over.  Please, step back to center stage and we’ll go right back to where we’re supposed to be.”

“OH YEAH? WAIT UNTIL YOU FUCKING SEE THIS!!!”

THE DISASTER TO END ALL DISASTERS CONTINUES HERE!

@imbicilite@aquaviolent@caelumsaltator@kalosian-writer@yellraiser@invictarre@151seen@drkvoids@thelittlestdemon@cosmacy@aeshmedai@a-hell-of-a-lot-of-muses@corvidmagicae @dragonskxn​ @necromagicae@twinleaf-royalty@raysofpokemuse @fallenxspirit

“so! i’ll start,” zoey says, trying to ignore the still-sobbing ursula in the background. “i think you all will find it no surprise that my judge’s choice award goes to LEON. your performance perfectly encapsulated everything that this contest was supposed to stand for--reconciliation, forgiveness, moving on, and of course, since this is valentine’s day, unbreakable bonds. while i did have some minor criticisms, that doesn’t take away from the fact that your performance is quite easily the most memorable and uplifting of the night. you couldn’t have picked a better time to send this message, and it’s one i’m sure will resonate with your fans for many years to come. well done!”

the audience applauds in approval. tobias is next, but he’s taking his sweet time waiting for the applause to die down. with leon netting that +15 bonus, he’s pretty far ahead--so the real contest, he supposes, would be for second and third, and if he’s to achieve maximum saltiness from ursula, he really has only three choices: birdy, jules or fabien. well, 15 points isn’t enough to put jules in the running, so she’s out…hm, which would piss ursula off more? birdy being lifted to second place? or fabien being lifted to the top 4, a scenario in which both appeals aimed at ursula would receive awards? choices, choices……

as soon as the applause dies down, though, he seems to have made up his mind.

“an excellent assessment there, and i’d give my bonus to leon as well, but i want to give some love to a performance that’s been rather underappreciated,” he says. “one that clearly drew its attention to the past events of this contest, the tangled history of the sweet love soiree. one that leaped to new heights in its defiance and daring, representing a victory not only moral but personal over the abuse rained down by an uncaring world. i was truly moved by the performance of which i speak, and i can tell it’s one that the audience will never forget. and so, it’s my great pleasure and honor to award my judge’s choice bonus to FABIEN!”

“HUH?????” ursula yells. “are you trying to screw me over again?”

“name the first time i tried to screw you over,” tobias says airily.

“well--that’s--” when you made a fucking group chat just to hate on me, she wants to say, but she’s barely managing to save that exposé for when the time is right. “who cares? you obviously only picked fabien just to piss me off. just like you only gave him a good score because he tried to piss me off!”

“excuse me?” tobias says, flawlessly feigning offendedness. “that sounds like the sort of shoddy judging you would do, ursula. don’t drag me down because you think i’m just as bad.”

“well, i don’t believe you,” ursula snaps. “if you get to pick someone just to piss off another judge, i get to do that too! and so, my judge’s choice award goes to TOBIAS!”

“what?!” lobias looks more confused than angry.

“’cause he’s not your friend anymore. how’d you like that?” she says smugly.

“well, if you were looking to make a supereffective hit, let’s just say i’m actually immune,” he grumbles. but no. he’s so not immune. he can’t stand the thought of an ex-friend getting those precious fifteen points.

“ursula, please reconsider,” zoey says, rubbing her forehead. “why don’t you give those points to wallace? or spirit? or kamui? you really seemed to like those three…”

“NO. TOBIAS. ONLY TOBIAS,” ursula huffs.

“ursula, stop being unprofessional,” lobias says. as if he’s any better.

“well, if we wanna talk professionalism, what about the fact that three people did performances just to upset me in the first place? isn’t taking out your grudges on a judge the most unprofessional as you can be?”

“i’ve already commented on how i think that’s wrong. but that doesn’t give you license to do the exact same right back,” zoey sighs. 

“UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” she groans. “you know what, if you’re gonna be like that, i’m going to go backstage and i won’t come back out for the ending until you let me keep my score!” and with that, she runs offstage.

“wait! ursula! come back!” zoey cries, running after her and leaving lobias alone at the table.

“there’ll be no convincing her, clearly, so i guess that settles it,” he says with a shrug.

@imbicilite 

ursula’s jaw is on the table. words rush to the surface, but lose themselves in her raging stupor, tangling on her tongue before they can make their way out of her mouth. god. fuck you. really. DQ. she wants to scream. she only sobs.

“well,” zoey says, breaking the silence, “that…certainly was a statement.”

“it sure was!” tobias sports a broad grin. “10/10 on originality, for sure. the daring. the excitement. the passion! the risk! you’re the only one here brave enough to get on up on our table and take out your feelings onstage. as for your aesthetic, you had some very clever callbacks to your previous performances--though i do think that if you wanted to make this as extra as the lyrics, you could have gone way further. 5/10. lastly, for your adherence to theme, everything you did was the perfect encapsulation of a burning grudge. for that, i give you a solid 10/10. you got a 25/30 from me, then. great work!”

“i agree with tobias,” zoey says. “though i don’t approve of jumping on the judges’ table like that, the rest of the performance was very original in its use of moves, and very, very you. i’m so glad you were finally able to stand up to your former master. 6/10. your aesthetic was also simple, yet effective--and quite bold in the visuals you chose, so for that, i’d give you a 10/10. and as for adherence to theme…well, what can i say? another 10/10. this means your score from me is--”

“wait.” ursula’s voice trembles. she’s done being nice. she’s done holding it all in. “wait just a fucking sec.”

“what is it?”

“Did none of you FUCKING NOTICE…he used his whole performance to INSULT ME?”

“we did. and we don’t care,” tobias says, taking a sip of his hagafen. 

“ursula, i’ve already said that i hardly think that should be a consideration in your judging,” zoey sighs.

“OF COURSE IT SHOULD BE!” she howls. “YOU MEAN IF LIKE EVERY OTHER PERFORMANCE IS ABOUT HATING ME, I CAN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING?!”

“you’re exaggerating. there were like, what. two, counting this one? that were directed at you. that’s like, only two out of ten. god, ursula. one would think that if you’d changed as much as you said, you would have grown a spine.”

“BUT HE STOMPED…HE STOMPED ON MY NOTE CARD! HE RIPPED IT UP!” she sobs. “YOU KNOW WHAT? NEXT TIME WE ALL JUDGE, I’M GOING--I’LL--I’LL BRING SOMEONE IN--” she can hardly speak through her tears--“THAT SHITS ALL OVER YOU GUYS!” fist, meet table! “BET’CHA WON’T BE SO PRIM AND PROPER THEN, WILL YOU?”

“trust me,” tobias deadpans, “there won’t be a next time.”

“ursula,” zoey says, straining to stay both kind and firm, “you need to get off the stage and calm down.”

“I DON’T CARE! I…I…I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! I’ve been SHAT ON for the LAST FUCKING TIME! By that group chat, by Birdy, by EVERYBODY! AND NOW…BY MY FRIEND? Fabien…You get a ZERO!”

“on…everything?” murmurs zoey.

“YES! ON EVERYTHING! ZERO! ZERO! YOU…GET A ZERO!!!”

"ursula, please, reconsider--”

“NO! THAT’S HIS FINAL SCORE! I’M THE HEAD JUDGE. I CAN SCORE HIM WHATEVER I WANT! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND…FABIEN…”

“ursula--”

“you know what,” tobias huffs, “forget it. let’s just go to bonuses. she can’t be talked to right now. and i want to get this right the fuck over with.”

zoey sighs and nods. “good idea. we have to get ursula some help.”

“all right. so,” tobias says, with ursula sobbing into her arms in the background. “you get +15 for using attract, flamethrower and encore, and you get another +5 for using meteor beam to create a valentine’s day color, red, when it usually doesn’t make that color. finally, you get the last +10 of your +30 bonus maximum for showing love between two pokémon of opposing types. this brings your total to…”

@thelittlestdemon 

tobias is about to open his mouth to speak. boy, he has a lot to say about this performance, and most of it is……well, constructive criticism. but as zoey and ursula gather their thoughts, he thinks: haven’t he and zoey been doing all the work for the past, what, four judgings? when the heck would ursula start off with her opinion? time to change that. time to put ursula on the spot.

“hey, ursula,” he says, with a roguish grin. “we haven’t had you start us off with a judging in a while. and i mean, i’m trying to be a more considerate guy here, so……why don’t i let you start us off?” a wink.

“yes,” zoey says kindly. “we’ve taken rather too much of the spotlight from you, don’t you think? you’re the head judge. your opinion should be the most important.”

but ursula doesn’t reply. she just stares dead ahead, her hands curling nervously around the phone in her lap as she tries to fish out some details to judge with. shit, shit, shit! she didn’t even watch a single minute of shylow’s redo! so focused was she on the drama with the screens that she didn’t bother doing her job. and now, the next five minutes of feedback were going to be hell.

fuck you, tobias, she thinks. you’re getting what’s coming to you.

“oh, well…” 

time to dig up the bullshit skills she’d honed so finely as a kid, being tutored by the greatest intellects in kalos of which she was so unworthy. first rule of bullshitting: stall for time.

“i think, that since shylow made poké puffs, we should start by having our pokémon each have a taste of one. it’s a treat for pokémon, right? they should be the judges, more than we are.”

“very well said,” zoey says, though tobias quirks a suspicious eyebrow. “glameow! out you come!”

soon, with tobias’ talonflame and ursula’s wigglytuff also sitting at the table, a poké puff is brought over and divided into thirds, and each pokémon takes at least a few bites. glameow finishes hers with a delighted prrrp!, talonflame digs more steadily and critically into his, whereas wigglytuff takes only a single bite before spitting out the food and throwing away the remainder with a mutinous pout.

“oh, no, looks like she didn’t like it at all,” ursula says, too relieved to sound smug about it--good, now this is going to make it easy. “so i guess in aesthetic mastery, you’re getting a 2/10 from me. as for adherence to theme, i’m sure you put your whole heart into making these treats, but is it really a great gift for the pokémon you love if mine didn’t even like it? 4/10. as for your originality…” now this will be the hardest, because she didn’t see enough to judge whether it was original. “5/10. wasn’t really boring, but didn’t really stand out. this means your total is 11/30.” 

hopefully, that’s good enough to fool them--she’s going purely off what she remembered from the initial performance. but if shylow put on something absolutely spectacular this time, she’s fucked…

fortunately, though, shylow didn’t--at least in the eyes of tobias.

“well, talonflame thinks your flavoring and design could have used a bit more nuance, but otherwise they’re decent treats, so you got lucky there,” he says rather dryly. “but as for the visuals you gave us while making them? come on. i know you’re a kid, but like, don’t kids have imagination?”

“don’t be rude,” zoey snaps.

“okay yeah, that was kinda harsh. sorry about that.” he shrugs. “but seriously. you didn’t use a single pokémon move while you were baking, and kind of the point of these themes is to use moves to enhance your craft. the playfighting between your pokémon was cute, but ultimately forgettable--except for the part where you literally started crying at the end. squeezing out tears while acting onstage is no mean feat.” little does he know, those tears weren’t staged. “6/10 on aesthetic mastery, and 4/10 on originality. as for your adherence to theme……i can kind of see your concept there, like, i’m sure you were trying to do some sorta thing of like, loving your pokémon even when they can be annoying, but in the end, the pace of the storyline was way too rushed at the end. 5/10. this brings your total from me to 15/30.”

“well, unlike tobias here, i have a bit of mercy,” zoey huffs. “my glameow just adored your poké puff, and i have to say, even though i agree that you should have used moves, the visuals you did have were very cute. 5/10 on aesthetic mastery. as for your adherence to theme, you did create a very nice little valentine for those you loved--your pokémon, i assume. so for that, i’ll give you a 7/10. and lastly, on originality……i think it’s a bold step for you to try and incorporate some of the forgiveness theme from the freestyle category, even if the execution wasn’t necessarily the best. 7/10. the last bit of advice i’d have for you is, though……it’s okay to say ‘no’ to a performance if you aren’t feeling the best about it. i could tell from the way you performed that your heart wasn’t really in it this time--and i just want to say that there’d have been absolutely no shame in saying no to our offer of a redo, if you didn’t actually want to be up here again. like, do you know the amount of performances i’ve skipped out on due to mental health reasons?” she offers a comforting smile. 

“to wrap things up, the total from me is 19/30. a good first show, despite its lack of moves. the fact you managed that in and of itself is pretty impressive.”

“wow, she was way nicer than i was.” tobias laughs. “i oughta sit down and start taking notes! anyway, i don’t believe you earned any bonuses, since you didn’t use any moves or held items. this brings your total to…”

Something’s afoot during Shylow / @thelittlestdemon‘s redone performance……Click to see what it is!

@cosmacy 

“THAT’S MY BOY, BIRDY! THAT’S MY BOY!”

would you look at tobias! he’s crying tears of joy at that display, clapping his hands even past the point that they’ve started aching! ursula, meanwhile, merely stares speechlessly at the gaping cracks and holes that her garchomp has left in the table with her frustration. never mind the fact that her fellow judge is obviously delighting in her pain, her exposure. birdy promised he’d never tell. and here, he’s told EVERYONE.

oh, she wishes she were drunk enough to deal with this.

“so that was an absolute blast to watch,” he says. “clearly you and your pokémon are highly advanced, for your sylveon to use dazzling gleam as an illusion like that--that’s a job most trainers would leave to zoroark, though you used its fae magic with aplomb. your performance was also the perfect balance between dramatic and low-key. and the transitions between the different scenes? beautiful. flawless. i may be a bit biased here, but for your aesthetic mastery, i’d give you a 10/10!”

“agreed,” says zoey. “although, i do feel as though the dramatic visuals sometimes didn’t fit the more lowkey music at times. so from me, your aesthetic mastery score is an 8/10. still an awesome score!”

“yyyyyyep. and as for your adherence to theme, i’d give that an 7/10 as well. you exemplified both forgiveness and lack thereof, although i would say that your metagross could have……acted a bit more, like your tyranitar, so we can see more of how it forgives--and what’s more, i feel like the act was centered ever so slightly more around you than around your pokémon’s forgiveness, given your center-stage role. but for your originality……hooooo, you knocked it out of the park! from the unconventional music choice, to the way you used your moves, to that unforgettable twist at the ending, let’s give it another 10/10! this means your total from me is 27/10. congratulations!”

“unfortunately, i’m not nearly as enthusiastic about your ending as tobias is,” zoey huffs. “clearly you did it to spite ursula, and i’m not in the business of rewarding spite like that. so, that means your originality score from me is 5/10. i can’t deny, however, that you perfectly fit the theme of forgiveness. for that, you get a 10/10 on adherence to theme. this means your total from me is 23/10.”

“you shouldn’t mark him down if she deserves it,” he mutters. the two judges then look to a shell-shocked ursula for a response.

“ursula, what do you think?” zoey prompts.

she’s staring, mortified, at her hands in her lap. what does she do, what does she do? she just wants to rant, but she’s read the reviews from last night’s performance, and she knows that if she loses her shit again, she’ll lose what little is left of her reputation……heck, no matter what she does, she might never be able to get it back. so, since she has nothing to lose, should she just go ham? yet at the same time, that might make her look even worse…

“ursula?” this time it’s tobias checking in on her.

“oh!” she plasters a smile on her face. “i thought it was just……great! i really liked how pretty your visuals were, but the music could have been way more epic. and, uh, the twist at the end…that was super, um, unique. i just don’t know where you got the idea for it, though. ‘cause the girl who was talking to the witch looked a lot like me, and like, i think you had her give up the garchomp for me, and i’m sure everybody here knows regina and i are besties…”

“bullSHIT!” tobias slams a fist down on the table. “that garchomp there was your friend! you did give her up! you want me to prove it? i can talk to her right now!”

ursula stands up and stamps a foot. “oh no you don’t! everyone knows you’re the only draconid up here! you can just pretend she says anything you want, and nobody can prove otherwise!”

“then let’s have kova translate,” he says, gesturing to his espeon.

“no! no! no! he’s your cat! he can translate however the hell he wants too! do you think that any of this is fair?”

“i mean, ordinarily i’d say you have a point, ursula,” zoey interjects. “but i’ve seen your garchomp in sinnoh national team rehearsals enough times to recognize her on sight. and that very, very, VERY much is your former best friend. at least you aren’t marking her down for her little exposé, though.” she lets out a sigh. “please don’t tell me i’ve spoken too soon.”

“but--but--but--”

“aaaaaaaaaand we’re done,” tobias says; on cue, kova uses psychic to mute her volume again. “go ahead and write out your score now. we’re frankly quite done with you talking.”

sulkily, ursula scrawls a few hasty numbers on her page, and slides it over to tobias.

Aesthetic Mastery: 7/10

Adherence to Theme: 8/10

Originality: 4/10

“all right, then, you’ve got a 7/10 in aesthetic mastery, an 8/10 in theme, and a 4/10 in originality from ursula,” he says, grinning. “that makes your score from her a 19/30!”

“i’ll do bonuses,” zoey offers. “so, you get +15 for using disarming voice, misty terrain and fire blast. you also get +5 for using a friend ball, and +5 for creating valentine’s day colors with misty terrain--using red and white when usually misty terrain is pink. with a bonus total of 25 points, your grand total is…”

@caelumsaltator

Note by mun: Font change in banner because my computer’s virus took out Chrome’s Internet accessibility and for some reason the original font isn’t loading on Firefox. >:(

“that’s a nice twist on the prompt there, isn’t it,” tobias says, grinning. “you made your valentine for the crowd, not for any particular person…and damn, i love the flower symbolism at the end there! plus, i think you struck the perfect balance in your act between performing with your pokémon and putting effort into the cards--you had both a nice idea and nice execution. i do want to point out, though. i think you relied way too much on using hearts. like, the cards were hearts, and then you surrounded them with hearts, and then you made a will-o-wisp out of hearts…like come on, there are ways to express your love without going through all that. plus--” he picks up a card that’s been dropped on his desk. “will you be mine? you’re cute? really?” he raises an eyebrow. “like we all haven’t seen that on every single valentine’s day. overall, though, you did a decent job. you get 6/10 in aesthetic mastery, 7/10 on adherence to theme, and 6/10 on originality. this brings my total for you to 19/30.”

“oh, are you sure you aren’t being too harsh?” zoey says. “i think you did a bang-up job on the visuals. the colors, the contrast, the pacing--you deserve at least a 8/10 on aesthetic mastery--”

“i mean, it was all right, but--”

“tobias, please,” she sighs. “anyway, for adherence to theme, i can sort of see what tobias is saying, but mmm…i think i still would have preferred you to be a bit more by-the-book, so your score for that category would be 5/10 from me.”

“oh really?” he raises an eyebrow. “damn, i thought you were a coordinator. i thought you had an imagination.”

“well, even an artist has to follow the rules,” she retorts, and tobias glares at her sulkily. “as for your originality…i guess i have to give you points for trying to think out of the box, both with your move combos, your presentation, and for trying something new. 7/10. this brings your total from me to 20/30. ursula, what do you think?”

“i liked it,” she mumbles.

“yes, and what did you like about it?” zoey presses.

“ilikedtha it was pretty…annice.” she picks up a valentine that’s landed in front of her and then drops it. “cards’re nice too.”

“sure. but what was nice about it?” tobias says rather testily.

“i like the pink,” ursula shrugs.

“ursula, you’re going to have to base your judging on something other than the fact it was pink,” zoey says, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice.

“i also likethered and the ice.”

a sigh from zoey. “ursula, i really think we should stop the contest and review this performance tomorrow.”

“i like the pink and red and ice,” she growls. “whaswrong withat?”

“well, it’s not very specific, and you have to give a complete reasoning as to why you scored your contestant the way you did--”

“oh, for crying out loud, can we just have a score?” tobias huffs. “why are you pushing her like this, zoey? didn’t you want to get this whole thing over with?”

“because i--”

“‘mscorin’ now.” HIC. “10/10 for aesthetic. 7/10 theme. 8/10 originality. that makes it…”

“25/10,” tobias says, with zoey looking very unhappy in her seat. “and as for bonuses…you get +15 for using all 6 moves on all pokémon on the field--the first of the night! good job! you also get +15 for using dazzling gleam, attract, and flame wheel, maxing out your bonus total of 30 points. this brings your total to…”

@invictarre 

oh, would you look at that! leon’s performance has hit so close to home that ursula has burst into tears! she’s sobbing into her arms on the table, right between her fellow judges.

“are you all right, ursula?” zoey asks, but the girl seems too overcome to speak. as zoey whispers comforting words to her and gently strokes her hair, tobias gives his verdict.

“i commend you, leon,” he says, “for telling me more about yourself and your pokémon in the span of a few short minutes than i knew from knowing you for months. that must have been so intensely personal, to lay yourself bare like that…i remember at the wallace cup you said you’re not a performer, but i swear, you’ve created something far more profound than some of the professionals i’ve seen here today. and i can say, as a trainer whose pokémon have been through as much trauma as i have: i’ve been there. i know how you feel. you honored the bond with your pokémon in every move, in every ounce of classical symbolism, in every artistic choice, in every word that was sung and spoken. now, i hardly ever do this, but take it--you’ve earned it. i’m giving you a PERFECT SCORE.”

“i agree. that was a magnificent performance. while i don’t have the same experiences as tobias or as you, i also know how it feels to put something that personal out on stage--and you handled it wonderfully. you handled it with grace and majesty, showing off the power befitting a true champion. your timing, your music, the balance of focus between yourself and your pokémon--not to mention, it was grand without being overly flashy. you might not be naturally inclined to perform, but if you’d chosen to be a coordinator instead of a champion, i feel you would have been just as great. the only things i could criticize are that i don’t know how to feel about your pokémon being knocked out like that--i know that they probably agreed to it, but still, you probably shouldn’t make them KO themselves every rehearsal. and what’s more, the performance also felt a little bit short--maybe adding a bit more imagery would have helped? so, that’s a 7/10 from me for aesthetic, a 8/10 from me for originality, and of course, for adherence to theme? 10/10, and i’d give you more points if i could. that means your final score from me is a 25/10!”

the audience stands and claps as the two judges confer their blessing--a standing ovation for the dragon and his liege.

zoey turns to the crying girl with her head down on the desk next to her; her sobs at least seem to have died down.

“ursula, what do you think?”

“i thought…i thought it was great…” she whimpers. “except…”

“except what?” zoey says gently.

“Except I wish someone would forgive ME!”

silence, from the other two judges. and then:

“are you serious right now?” tobias cries. “are you honestly going to try and make this all about yourself?

“WELL THIS’OLE CONTEST’S’POSED TO BE ABOUT ME, ISN’IT?” ursula bellows. “TOBIAS……TOBIAS……YOU WERE SUPPOSED…TO FORGIVE ME! YOU WERE! I…I’M THE ONE YOU’RE MEANT TO MARRY! NOT…ANNALISE!”

“something tells me you’ve never had to hear a recording of yourself, because you really have no idea how fucking cringey you sound to everybody else,” tobias snarks.

“that’s not helping,” zoey says, shooting him a glare. “

“IT’S JUST NOT FAIR…” ursula says, the tears pouring from her face again. “WHY’S NO ONE…MAKE A SHOW LIKE THAT…FOR ME?! WHYSIT A POKÉMON? DO POKÉMON…EVENKNOW…WHAT FORGIVENESS…” 

she can’t find the word she’s thinking of, but tobias fills it in for her.

“dragons are perfectly capable of understanding the concept of forgiveness,” he huffs. “you should know. you’re the companion of one--”

“IDUN CARE! IDUN CARE!!!” she pounds the table with her little fists. “I WANBE FORGIVEN!” HIC. “NOT SOME LIZARD!!!!”

tobias stands up so fast his chair goes clattering to the floor. no one talks about dragon-types like that in front of a draconid like him! he balls a fist at his side--looking like he’s going to swing a punch at her red-flustered face.

“tobias, no,” zoey says, meeting his glare with hers. “that shouldn’t be our priority right now. our priority should be to get her through the judging.” she tenses, ready to be snapped at--but thankfully, he stands down.

“now,” she says, as though talking to a child, “what score do you want to give to mister leon?”

“10/10 for aesthetic.” she emits a hiccup crossed with a burp. “8/10 for adherence to theme. 7/10 for originality. iduncare. iduncare.”

“but that’s not--” tobias starts, yet once again, a glance from zoey silences him.

“it’s whatever,” zoey sighs. “he’s still gonna be in the lead and it’s not like we’re getting anything else out of her.”

“if you insist,” he grumbles. “now, onto the bonuses. you get +15 for using thunderbolt, draining kiss and misty terrain. you also get +10 for creating move combinations from types that are opposite to each other--once with ice shard and fly, and once with wild charge and aqua jet. this brings your total to…”

the performances are in the order that i have read and/or judged them, with a couple of exceptions. these exceptions are that whitley/imbicilite has asked to go last, and then there’s UG’s shylow, who is currently receiving medical attention. which means…

@drkvoids​ / tobias

@thelittlestdemon / shylow

@kalosian-writer / jules

@aquaviolent / wallace

@yellraiser / piers

INTERMISSION

leon / @invictarre 

spirit / @fallenxspirit 

birdy / @cosmacy, red / @151seen OR kamui / @caelumsaltator 

same as above

same as above

fabien / @imbicilite 

EMERGENCY BREAK

"Tobias…?"

She’s backstage, and twenty minutes have passed. She drank her water. She threw up what she needed. And she's feeling (somewhat) better, though not all the way…

Is it time?

"The fuck do you want?" he huffs.

"Tobias, I……I just wanted to tell you something." 

"Oh, are you here to say sorry to me for flirting with me and touching me even though I have a girlfriend?"

"Yes. I'm very sorry for that. But Ijus…Ijuswanted to say…" She fiddles with her fingers. "I feel like…things haven't been thsame since you…sinceyou saved me frommy dad. I felt…" A pause as she sways, and then sits down in a nearby seat. "I felt…we could be friends. Likewhenwewere……dated. Likewhen…you saved me. Liwen…you said sorry…for telling me to die. You saved me…whyyou save me? You like me…why save me if not?"

[READ THE WHOLE DISASTER INTERMISSION HERE!!!]