Bleeding Ink

This is another writing exercise like the one posted a while ago.  I’ve decided this time to post it totally raw, as I typed it.  I might do a bit of cleanup later, but I think it might be interesting to see it raw.

Exercise 26th August 2015

From "People of the Earth", W. Michael Gear & Kathleen O'Neal Gear

ISBN 0-812-50742-8 page  316, line.7, words 1-7

“was a ripped and torn mass of”

cheese.  It appeared that the chef had not taken any care in the presentation, and so did not seem to matter to him if I gained my freedom.  My whole standing in court depended on the creations of my staff, yet Ellis made only the most cursory attempt to make the food presentable.

I couldn't really blame him too much, the stress was quite high; and he wouldn't be the one imprisioned if my staff did not deliver the goods to my captors.  They wanted entertainment, and I and my retinue were their diversion for the day.

"Your Grace, would it be possible that I attempt to produce a meal suitable for your august personage?"

She did not speak, but just looked bored on her throne.  After a few tense moments, finally she spoke.  "If you can do so, I'll let you go, but your chef will need to go back to school, at her expense."

I thought that somehow fitting.  Her Grace was capricious but she did have a sense of honor and ironic justice.

I decided to create a dessert, a pastry with a sweet, lemony filling.  I'd been taught how by my mentor when I was young -- htat a Lord or Lady must know as much as possible about the crafts in his or her keep.

It came out well enough.  I thiink her Grace was looking for

--- end of exercise -----

Not the best work, but it did have conflict and did drop the reader into the middle of it.  There were a few clear spelling errors, and a few inconsistencies. I wonder though how one could be honorable and capricious, though; that seems a bit contradictory.  Also, “my” (the POV character’s) chef changed gender from one paragraph to another.

I’ve come up with another writing exercise, designed to stimulate creativity.

I take a small (3.5″ x 5.5″) hard-bound notebook, and I write a two-page spread each day.  Each entry will have three random words chosen to be included in that day’s writing.  The last sentence of each day is copied over to the next two-page spread, and the story is continued from there.  I’m not to look back at the previous entries, at least not until when and if I want to turn it into a real story.

It’s sort of like the “Exquisite Corpse” exercise from drawing, with the additional element of the three random words.

I’ve now written my first day this way.  The words were “tipple” “walk together” and “fief”.   I am using wiktionary’s random word link for the words, and that’s why “walk together” is there, the actual random word was “coambulabitur” which is a form of the Latin very “coambulō” which means “walk together.”

The piece is 212 words, as best I could count (it’s on paper for now, so there are no easy tools to count, I just counted it out loud).

The amount of time could vary, and perhaps be increased a bit.  I found myself going pretty full-steam ahead when the five minutes rolled around.

The  traits to look at the bottom can very easily be added to, or even some elements removed.  The reading out loud is good, but this is a super-raw piece.

I am evaluating the exercise I just posted.  First thing I noticed is that my character’s name changes (from “Kran” to “Lon”, at least they sound a bit alike).   

For the metrics at the bottom of the exercise:

* reading it forward, it flows somewhat, and I think a reader can get an idea of what’s going on.

* reading it backward, it makes no sense, but I’m not sure how much any writing does, and I don’t understand that part of the exercise.   Perhaps it is just to play with the sounds.

* energy:  The piece does have some energy, but it is not really high, it is more a “fade-in” type of scenario.  

* surprise: Kran/Lon was not expecting a notice on some odd financing.  It’s not the greatest way to hook a reader, as it stands.  The reader might find the sentient, notification scrolling tattoo a bit original.  It is sort of a mash-up of a smartphone’s notification feature with “The Illustrated Man”, by Ray Bradbury, with a tone of cyberpunk.

* originality of language: There is VERY little here of that.

* makes sense: I think it does.

from Redwall, ISBN 0-380-70827-2, page 170, 4th paragraph, 3rd line, 2nd-8th words

whole body was covered in long raking

streams of data; the bioluminescent data tatoo was sending a long stream of information to Kran, but he was too tired to make any sense of it.  The stories selected from the web seemed to be no more than a 'top news' aggregation.   Kran sighed and called to his digital assisant, Deva.  

"I can't see a damned thing, why is my tattoo sending me this information, rather than the usual streams of poetry?"

"Authorizing a cloud computation?"

"Yeah, I've lerned to trust this tattoo.  Doug Murphy was kick-ass ... best info-tattooist in Long Beach."

"More mythic places, Lon?"

"It existed ... believe me.  Even if its existence has been scrubbed from the records.  Anyway, about that streaming tattoo information?"

"There seems to be some kind of iffy finances going on, only this time it isn't in London or New York.  Seems to be a link to Kolkatta and Rio.  Investments in solar sail technology are running large, and there is specific visible reason.  None of the big advisors have put out buy orders."

Lon sighed.  "I suppose I should investigate.  Look up the contacts I have in Rio."

I don’t know where I got this, but I have this exercise in a file:

Form a shelf of books of fiction or poetry:

a. take random book b. select random word, and 3 before and after. c. write this phrase in notebook d. keep writing for 5 minutes.

* read forward word by word * read backwards word by word

Does it have:

* energy * surprise * original in language * make sense * innocence

This could be a series of novels, set in two ‘world’, one is a fantasy alternate history Earth, and the other is an ‘afterlife’ world mirroring that Earth.  Throughout, the theme is boundaries, what are they, when should they be crossed, and when should they be respected, and why.

Magic(k) does exist, and while it is not common, it plays a big role on Earth.  

The historical divergence becomes noticeable around 1618.   

Resurgent native magic helps the Bohemians keep their independence. Albrect von Wallenstein sees the power of the Protestant actions, and returns to the faith of his youth.  The home-field advantage of the returned magic, combined with von Wallenstein’s forces, aborts the war we call the “Thirty Years War”, after its first year.  Military conquest is not an option, and so the incumbent situation remains.

In China, the Wanli Emperor is brought back into interest in ruling his country by a Daoist monk who was lost to history in our timeline.   He also repulses the later Jin Empire, and Nurhachi dies early.  The Ming, rebounding, take the Jurchen lands, and the Qing Dynasty never happens.  Ming is strengthened, and does not have a subordinate role to the would-be colonizing European powers.   Ming later establishes trade colonies across the Pacific from our-world British Columbia through Guatemala. 

Spain is targeted by Protestant and French armies, and pulls out most of its forces in the Americas and elsewhere overseas.  The “homefield advantage” of the natives in the Americas, lets them then throw out the Spanish entirely.  A small minority of Spanish and some of the Mestizos holds on barely there, forming a commercial and cultural link to Europe.  By the time that Span has secured its borders, the natives in the Americas are too strong to be subjugated.  Some areas form a hybrid government and culture, e.g., La Republica de Gran Florida -- which has influences both ways with Carolinia, ruled by the Lords and Ladies Proprietor.   

In Quebec, there is a massive influx of immigrants, including refugees, both draft dodgers, and those overpopulation that wasn’t lost to war as in our timeline.  A more European French culture develops in the urban areas, and in the country, two cultures arise, blending the native and the European:  the  «  Ratons-Rivieres » or “river rats”, with a culture centered on the St. Lawrence River, very oriented to sea-going and fishing, and small, intense agriculture.  It’s a very low-brow, working-class culture, but they are real survivors, they handle anything.  They’re totemic native combined with Catholic.  North and South of them, the “woods-raccoons” culture arises, which is more land-oriented, also very strong survivors.  It has more native and less Catholic, but still blends into the river rats.

North America has on the East Coast, the Wabnaki Confederation, the New England theocracy, the Iroquois Confederacy, the United States (NYC, Long Island, Most of New Jersey, southern Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Virginia), the lands of the Lords Proprietor of Carolinia, and Gran Florida.  Inland, there are the Cherokee lands, the Miami lands, Ojibwe (Ontario, Michigan, and Minnesota), and more (not yet all worked out).  In what’s 

Only the US and New England have mostly European derived cultures and politics, and even then they are influenced by the other nations on the Continent. 

I plan to start posting brief summaries of some of works in progress.  There’s no “rhyme or reason” to my choices as to which.  I’m just writing them up as they are pressing on my mind.

Up soon:   Fractured World, Book of Original Entry, Infected, Free Flight, Leftovers, Claire de Lune, The Best Bet, Killing His Grace