nikoo!!

so many religious people, christian people, are able to recognise and believe that trans people have also been created by god, and that it is good we get to live through this change. it’s not a new trend, trans people’s existence is documented in ancient societies and was only demonised in fairly recent times through the bible’s mistranslations caused by some close-minded monks who didn’t understand anything beyond what they witnessed firsthand in their rather simple lives. my parents are a product of the same conservative christian society that was based around these mistranslations, and they were unable to do the emotional and mental work to grow from that and understand that while there is evil in the world, harmless transformation of oneself is not one of them, and i understand that they are worried and scared, but that’s no reason to beg me not to transition, especially considering that they don’t ask about my happiness at all. i understand it’s hard to see a loved one change visually, but that is what children do all the time anyway. that is what humans do all the time anyway. we grow up, then we grow older, we grow smarter and stronger and then we stop growing in strength and size and only grow in mind, but some people stop growing in mind after only a few years because they feel overwhelmed, maybe, or because they feel they know all they need to know to survive. loving one’s child should be unconditional, as they could turn out to be anyone. of course parents have a certain amount of power over how their child is raised and what values to instill within them, and they can shape how their child turns out that way, but there are still many factors involved that they have no control over, for example those of medical nature. my parents believe they failed in raising me properly, they might link treating me unfairly to me wanting to change my gender because i’ve felt less than as a girl, but that’s not the primary reason for my transition.

my primary reason for my transition is being happy, actually. i am happier as a guy and nothing else matters in that regard. why is my change different from someone choosing to have a child? or someone choosing to get a tattoo? or piercings? or choosing to destroy their liver by drinking a bottle of wine every day? why is it different from someone who moves to a different country? did god not put them on that continent, in that country? well if he wanted them to be somewhere else, he would have surely put them there? that’s what my mum argues. it’s insane really, there’s no actual logic behind this

before every major change in my life concerning my transition, i’ve prayed and asked god to make it impossible for me to take this step if it isn’t meant for me and everything so far was rather easy to achieve. it was a heavy mental load but in the end every doctors visit ended positively and my boss was accepting and even congratulated me on my name change and the lady doing the name change was very respectful and kind to me. and her name translated to churchhome, word for word :( i just can’t believe i was wrong to take these steps.